General Update....

**suebeehoney** · 03-20-2010, 08:55 PM

Hello Everyone!

I haven't posted for a while to update on things, so I thought I would toss this out here now that I've got a few quiet moments.

DD22 is doing well with her pregnancy. Due in just a couple of months now, so things are gearing up quickly. She has been EXTREMELY blessed by hand-me-down baby stuff from family and friends. She's healthy and happy, safe, warm and well-fed. Her baby shower is next week, so I'm busy planning for that. The only regret I have is that she continues to smoke through this pregnancy. I'm not happy about it, have bitched, complained, cajoled, begged, and given factoids to her until I'm blue in the face. The bottom line is: she's an adult and makes her own choices.

DS18 is on schedule to graduate, but continues to have major issues with his grades. All I want at this point is for him to graduate and get out of school so we can stop fighting this battle. It's been ongoing since about 5th grade. Part of it is his learning disability, but more of it is his own teenage angst and what I call "senior-itis" - tired of school and wants to be out of there. So we have his graduation open house to do this summer.

DS12 is doing ok at his dad's house in another state. I miss him terribly, and the trip to see him February was nice, but he clung to me and just sobbed like a baby when I left. THAT part was awful. He didn't want to move back home, but didn't want me to leave, either.

Our landlord recently informed me that she is putting our house on the market. However, she's only doing it because she and her husband are having marital problems and he wants her to put it up for sale. She's put it at a price that it's extremely unlikely to sell - mainly because she doesn't want it to sell, doesn't want us to have to move - she says she's only doing it to make her husband happy. Obviously, this puts a huge cloud of uncertainty over our heads. While it's unlikely the house will sell at the price she has it for sale at, there's always that possibility that someone will swoop down with the right offer, and it will be gone. So for the time being, we are staying put and going on as normal, but it's hard to forget that there's going to be a 'for sale' sign in the yard soon, and the possibility of having to move. I love this house - don't want to move.

On a more personal note, I guess I'm feeling my single-ness and my age a lot more lately. I will turn 40 later this year, and I've been alone with my kids since two days before I turned 31. Now that the kids aren't "little" anymore, I feel less and less needed by them, and more and more alone. Don't get me wrong - I love my kids, and I know they need me, but they're growing up and moving on with their own lives. I find myself feeling kind of at odds with myself and not quite sure who I am anymore. I haven't cultivated any close friendships with co-workers or anything like that, so....here I sit, in front of the computer. Right now, my life is busy with the party planning, DD22 living here and the baby coming, and DS18's graduation....but after that? Once DD22 moves out in a couple of years, DS18 is out on his own, and DS12 is...where? Not sure where he'll be right now. Then what? I guess I'll become one of those people that does a bunch of volunteer work or something? I want companionship, but I don't want to get married. Not into the friends with benefits thing, either. The dating sites are a joke, and the guys at work think I'm a joke. (Not kidding here, I'm one of their favorite joke subjects. I've heard them.) I'm not into the bar scene, and I don't think that's the place to meet your dream guy anyway. Sooo...my personal life, what there is of it, pretty much sucks right now. Big time.

Anyhow...that's life in a nutshell for us right now, for anyone who might have been wondering.

**qcrazy** · 03-20-2010, 11:47 PM

Im a newb but my LL let me know my home was selling this month. I have lived here 5 years! I do and don't want to move but my lease was up in January and my new LL will go up on the rent by a $100 bucks. So Im looking to move.

Im sorry about your DS12 that does not sound like a good situation

**ladytoysdream** · 03-21-2010, 09:00 PM

Thanks for the update.
I was wondering the other day how your daughter was doing.

Sorry about the house being for sale. Hopefully the price will be high enough it won't sell. Any chance you could buy if, if the price was right ?

**Michelle68** · 03-21-2010, 09:33 PM

The guys are laughing at you?? Unbelievable! You are not a joke and don't let any weasel-a**ed male co-workers make you feel as if you are. You are a loving woman, a fantastic mother, an intelligent person. I can tell these things just from the posts that I have read by you. They are not worth your time or energy, the scum-sucking morons.

Okay, that being said...I hope everything works out as far as your housing goes. It's very promising that she is trying (despite her husband) to keep from selling the house so y'all can stay in it. Sending hugs

your way.

**ml2620** · 03-22-2010, 06:56 AM

Sue bee, I've been wondering about you and your daughter as well. Glad to hear she's doing well, sorry to hear about the smoking. That has to be tough to watch.

Transitions are always hard. I'm on the other end of the spectrum, 37, challenging marriage with an ADD husband and expecting my first child. I can't imagine you'd want to switch places and do it all over again? In the next couple years you are going to find the real woman you are. You've been a kid and then a mom, but never the powerful woman you've become without responsibilities. I predict new opportunities and good people in your future. And probably a really smart guy.

As for the guys at work, you probably intimidate them and the bottom line is, in a jam they know they could count on you more than most.whatever they say, they think you can take it.

**frugal is fun** · 03-22-2010, 10:05 AM

I'm in a similar boat as you with your personal life. Except I have a 5yr old. I've been divorced almost two years, turned 40 this past October and am settling into "myself". It does get lonely on those few Saturday nights I don't have my son. Like you, I don't go to bars or dating web sites. Not really looking for a long term relationship but if I wanted to go out, I'd like there to be someone to call.

I've been asking just about everyone I know if they know any nice single guys. So far it has turned up one. I actually met him yesterday. He seems nice enough, not a major love connection or anything but its worth a date or two.

good luck and know that you are not alone!

**mommy4ever** · 03-22-2010, 10:08 AM

Transitions... these are always a little intimidating. Going from a teen at home to an independant adult. From a single to married. TO a first time mom, to divorced woman. You've done many changes, and handled them pretty well! Don't short change yourself, you are more than just a mom. Soon, you'll have more time to devote to yourself. Soon, perhaps in the volunteering you speak of doing, that you'll find a companion, perhaps that'll be a bff, or perhaps the love of your life. But it's out there. When the kids are independent and on their own, perhaps you will make the effort to cultivate the friendships you haven't thus far. I understand that, friends take time, and with kids... it's hard to make that time and still function where you must.

Be kind to yourself, get to know yourself and what you want. The new spring in your life is beginning take a little time to cultivate it!

**suebeehoney** · 03-22-2010, 12:15 PM

Thanks everyone!

Yes, it's been a long, hard road. Not without its' joys, but also not without its' major potholes. I'm alive, healthy and have my kids, and for the time being, a roof over our heads. I'm trying to stay positive through all of this, it just seems that as soon as I think I'm on top of things, someone pulls the rug out from under me in some way (like the house thing).

I can deal with the guys at work by NOT dealing with them, for the most part. I just ignore them. For all the "tolerance" and "sensitivity" training they've done here, it's still a good ol' boys club - and all the crap that comes with it.

**piney** · 03-22-2010, 03:49 PM

sue-bee was glad to see your post and for most part everything is going fine.Hope things goes well for daughter and grandbaby and maby your 12 year old will decide to come home when his school is out.wishing you all health and happiness.

**ohwhataday03** · 03-22-2010, 07:15 PM

Glad to hear everythings well with your DD. As for the landlord stuff, I know just how you feel. The thing is my landlord told someone he is putting the place in the market. But I think he just said that to get us out of here. Believe if I could move now I would, nothing but bad news living here. Can't wait for the day we do move.