you've got to be kidding~ rant ahead!

**nodmicks** · 05-05-2010, 12:57 PM

As a rule dh and I make it a rule not to borrow $ except in a few select cases and if we can consider it a gift if need be so there are not issues later. Just wanted to say that so this all makes sense.

I got a phone call

him~ can I borrow $ my tires are shot and I have 2 got 300 miles for an interview

me~ sorry I won't besides you never bothered to pay me the last time I borrowed you $ forever ago

LONG PAUSE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

him~ I have no one left to ask and I know you can afford to lend it too me!

Me~ sorry I said no~ I can not ~ will not and your pissing me off now by pushing me!

him~ I know you gave ----------- a loan

me~ how the heck do you know that????

him~ mom is in her prayer group and they prayed for her and the situation and mom mention it to me

me~ your point?????

him~ you won't help me

me~ there is a big frigging difference in helping someone with a terminal disease that has busted their buns their whole life and needs a hand to survive before disability kicks in and YOU!!!!! Now I'm going to hang up before I say something I will regret later

him~ gee you don't have to be suck a crab

CLICK!!!!!

I am still seeing red! Can't pick family can you? I'm tempted to call the pastor and tell him he really needs to remind the ladies in prayer group that the details that go on in there should be kept confidential. It also got out a while ago that one of the ladies husband was cheating on her before she was ready to share with most people because someone in that same prayer group blabbed. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Second how dare someone decide you can afford to lend them $. We are not a frigging bank. We don't have a big

monster income. The $ we have is through b being frugal and very thrifty. You know~ the same stuff we get grief for on occasion! GRRRR Oh yeah the assumption is we have $ because we never complain about finances. Even when we were struggling cuz it is no ones business! Besides hashing out think here on FV it is a NO ONES BUSINESS topic in MHO

Ok back to edit and say " sorry for the rant!" I've been cranky for 2 days and this just tops it

**Rebookie** · 05-05-2010, 02:43 PM

Who was this?? It sounds like a friends child? What a little sh!t!! =/

**YankeeMom** · 05-05-2010, 02:47 PM

(((HUGS)))

We have the same policy about loaning money. We also have family members (sadly, all on my side) who are major moochers with huge entitlement complexes so I know just what you're going through.

**Greebo** · 05-05-2010, 02:52 PM

Family, right? Brother maybe? Wasn't clear from the OP.

Stick to your guns - your brother is depending upon you accepting his premise that you some how owe him something because he's your brother. He's mistaken. If he's jerked you around before on borrowed money, he's lost any privilege given by birth, if it ever existed to begin with.

**StaceyS** · 05-05-2010, 02:54 PM

Good for you for sticking to your guns! I've been walked all over by many people - no more. Kudos!

**nodmicks** · 05-05-2010, 03:23 PM

Sorry I wasn't real clear. As you can probably tell by the typos I was mad!!!

It is my cousin who is my age. We used to hang out tons and have a blast but I really him cut way down on my social calendar in the last year because of these issues. I got sick of hearing how we had it made because of who dh works for etc, the nosy ?'s , unasked for advice on how to raise my kids when his kids are not to hot right now. You know dumb and annoying stuff.

Nope Greebo my brother is a very smart and wealthy guy.But everything you said was 100% spot on!

Rebookie you are right he sounds like a kid not a 41 year old man.

Heather I'm sad to hear it happens in your family but sure glad someone knows just what I mean.

Stacey good for you saying no more. I find it kind of hard to be firm without feeling like a jerk but easier with more and more practice.

**shoiji** · 05-05-2010, 05:56 PM

Since he has already demonstrated that he won't pay you back there is no reason to feel like a "jerk". If he is 41 and unable to pay his bills then you are not doing him any favor by bailing him out. Your money is your money to do with as you see fit. Hopefully it will not take him to long to understand you are not his personal bank.

**jas** · 05-05-2010, 06:11 PM

okay at first I thought it was one of your own kids. Not that you need to be the bank of mom and dad, just was not sure who was doing the asking. You probably wouldn't have given this person a gift in the amount of new tires especially if it is not your own child. He sure got pissy with you when you stuck to your guns about it.

My brother used to always think he could fall back on us (me and my two other brothers when he messed up and was in a financial bind) That won't be happening again. He used to continually make rotten choices and then expected us to bail him out.

He has given out my home phone number as his own for all his bad debt so they call my house. He changes his cell number a lot to avoid them, but I keep giving them the new one. I wonder if he has figured it out yet. I am going to give out his address and number even if he asks me not to. He never asked it he could send all his debt collectors my way!

**Michelle68** · 05-05-2010, 06:58 PM

Hugs, Mick. Geez! What nerve. As someone else said, he sounds like a kid and not a grown man.

**nodmicks** · 05-05-2010, 07:09 PM

Shoiji! so true! The best place he can go is too work!!!

Jas have no fear I am the bank of mom and dad occasionally which I do not mind.
Wow is your brother my cousin? Are we long lost relatives??? My number was given out to one of those pay day loan places plus a tittle loan. Good for you on giving out his current phone and address!!!!!!!

Michelle he is like a kid. I love him but I don't always like him. He has practically bankrupt his mom because she helps him

**Nada.Leona** · 05-06-2010, 05:17 AM

I had an ex-boyfriend run out on an apartment we shared. They knew I hadn't lived there in months, but they kept calling me looking for him. Finally I got fed up and gave them his mother's name and number. She and I had been good friends and I knew she would hunt him down and make him do what was right. They never called me again.

And FYI: Yes, I'd be calling the pastor. Sounds like a lot of ol' hens clucking in that prayer group.

**TheRootedNomad** · 05-06-2010, 06:55 AM

Originally Posted by LadyNada

And FYI: Yes, I'd be calling the pastor. Sounds like a lot of ol' hens clucking in that prayer group.

LadyNada

I'd ask if he knew his church's prayer group was sounding like more of a gossip group to some people and was that really the message that he wanted sent. It might be time to remind them of what the intention of what is suppose to be spread at a prayer group is such as support, faith, and positive

.

**KathleenCG** · 05-06-2010, 11:08 PM

[QUOTE=TheRootedNomad;1364252]

LadyNada

I'd ask if he knew his church's prayer group was sounding like more of a gossip group to some people and was that really the message that he wanted sent. It might be time to remind them of what the intention of what is suppose to be spread at a prayer group is such as support, faith, and positive

.[/QUOTE

EXACTLY!!

When do they find the time to pray, if they're so busy yakking??

**craftypam** · 05-06-2010, 11:20 PM

Not sure why you feel like a jerk. You earned the money and you saved the money and you didn't overspend your money and it is your money not your cousins.