Since when did my house become the cool house?

[Dancing Lotus]

This is going to sound awful and grumpy but I really don't want all the kids in the neighborhood at my house every day! This morning the bell was ringing before I was even dressed.

For the summer I am sitting and once those kids are picked up for the day I really don't want any more kids here. I'm tired and don't want to breakup any more fights or give out anymore snacks.

Oh the snacks! We aren't big snackers so our choices are limited. I buy a bag of pretzels , popcorn and lots of fruit for the week. We have what we have and that's it. But all the other kids are eating it all up. On Friday I bought my girls a package of peanut-butter covered pretzels they were for the whole week. Unbeknown to me they gave them to the kids and they were are all gone by Saturday. I simply can't afford this.

The other problem is that my little one doesn't understand that she is not old enough to go to the other kids houses and she can't ride her bike up and down the street with them. It's creating a lot of conflict with her because I feel so bad when I have to tell her she can't go.

Gone are the quiet summers alone with my girls. I have to draw the line but I'm unsure where to draw it. The truth is we aren't going anywhere or doing anything so I don't really a have a reason why the kids can't play other then I don't want to be bothered. But I cant' say that. LOL

It's lunch time and this will be the third day in a row that the same child has been here. She asked what was for lunch. I really don't want to feed her again.. She also had dinner with us the last two nights. Maybe I should have just said " I don't know, why don't you ask your mother."

Anybody else feel your home has become the community center for the neighborhood?

[Greebo]

You need to learn to say no to kids or they will take everything and demand more. Just like with adults...

[imagine]

Did you see the episode of The Middle about the cool house?

The parents wanted to be the cool house, then they became the cool house and the decided they don't want to be the cool house anymore, they fixed it so they weren't the cool house anymore.

[TigerGirl1226]

I'd tell your kids that there are certain times that they can have friends over. The friends need to snack before they come over and head home by dinner time. Maybe post a set of house rules, along the lines of no fighting, respect each other, etc.

[IntlMom]

Ann, I completely understand - and somehow, I am not a good one at telling them "no" - why oh why am I so intimidated by a bunch of little pipsqueak kids?

but come lunch time - even I could simply tell them that it was time for your kids to eat lunch and so they would need to go home. Maybe you could institute "quiet" afternoons with your girls. When the kids come home from eating lunch (because they would have gone home after you told them it was going to be time for your girls to eat lunch and they needed to go home and eat) - see if you can't have your girls ready to watch a movie with you, or play a game with you, or reading, or even resting...... could be a nice qiet afternoon -

might work, might not - but it's worth a shot!!



(of course this advice comes from the mom that will go downstaris with the kids and pretend not to hear the door - yea, I've taken to "hiding" from the neighborhood kids!) LAME

[frugalfriend]

Anybody else feel your home has become the community center for the neighborhood?

YES! ME TOO! I know exactly how you feel, it drives me crazy. The neighborhood kids ring our doorbell all day and call on the phone. There is no peace in the summer. I just want to be alone with my kids sometimes! Is that so bad? I sometimes feel like we have to leave our home just to get some peace! I started telling kids we are having lunch or dinner now, it's time to go home, and I don't feel bad anymore. I want my kids to have friends but sometimes their friends drive me nuts, and that makes me feel like there's something wrong with ME.

Sorry you're dealing with it too.

[frugalfriend]

(of course this advice comes from the mom that will go downstaris with the kids and pretend not to hear the door - yea, I've taken to "hiding" from the neighborhood kids!) LAME

I've done that too, and not answered the phone!

[Darlene]

Gotta have rules and you need to enforce them then everybody knows how to act. Flag hanging out kids can play, no flag, no play & don't you ring that bell or else!
Don't be afraid to say no and please take the time to give the other parents a call (I know they should be calling or meeting with you) and see what they can do to help out snack & time wise.

[CeeBee]

If it cheers you up any, I know people who figure the cost of a jumbo box of pretzels a day is a pretty small price to pay for knowing what your kids are up to and who they're hanging out with all day.

That said! My mom never allowed "the pack" to come inside. Our apartment was small, just like everyone else's.

One or two friends would sometimes get a special invitation to come to dinner, but that was understood to be an Event, not an everyday thing.

[2ndGenGranola]

An air popper and a bag of popcorn from Sam's would be cheap and EZ. If they didn't like it they could go home.

[lwlynch]

Just have to be strict, tell them what is a time and keep it outside. If nothing else you might have to talk to the parents..sometimes people feel you are home and they dont want to deal with their own kids.. be sure to put your foot down now!

[Dancing Lotus]

I like the flag , no flag thing!
The only problem with keep it outside is that my littlest isn't allowed to play out front without an adult. So I told them all the backyard, but then some of the kids say they aren't allowed in the back yard. Of course this is the kid who has been here for days and we still haven't met his parents.

[monkeywrangler71]

So I told them all the backyard, but then some of the kids say they aren't allowed in the back yard.

Tell them your front yard is not for playing, period. If they say they are not allowed in the back then you can tell them to go home and play in their own yard.

[frugalwarrior2]

First,no one can play w/o knowing their phone. What if they get hurt.
2nd-sit your kids down and explain that you can't feed everyone all the time. Tell them no friends over before ?? time.
3rd-say ok lunch time. Time to go home. You can come back in an hour. The girls need to know they have to ask special for kids to have lunch.
Psst-if no snacks are provided they get hungry and leave.

I am older and we used to play in packs. No one had lessons. Koolaid and pb&J was the only thing our folks and the neighbors gave out. We all left for lunch and met back up. W/ the economy I see this coming back.

As far as the little ones go tell them ages they can do things. Like play out front,ride your bike in the street or around the block.
Maybe the kids are confused because you do daycare. I personally would call the moms. Or maybe have coffee and talk??

[pollypurebred39]

Love the flag idea!

There are parents out there who shoo their kids out the door as soon as they've finished breakfast and frankly wouldn't mind if they didn't come back till bath and bedtime. To make things easier on you, you've got to lay down some ground rules.

First, I'd stick with the backyard rule, if they can't play in the back yard maybe the kids will go over and play at that kid's house sometimes.

Second, I'd provide water only. A budget is a budget, and if you (I know nothing of your $ situation, just an example) struggle to pay your bills or fund your your EF then buying snacks for the neighborhood is just too much.

Third, mealtimes are for family only. Unless others plans were made in advance. I'd just open the door and announce that it was time for your kids to come in for lunch and that they needed to go home for now. Take the flag in and remind them not to come back unless and until the flag was put back out.

Fourth, give yourself a break. No need to feel guilty about not wanting to be a free Summer camp for the neighborhood.