I spent money yesterday and I don't like the way it feels!

[frugal is fun]

Let me give a little history first.

Vera, my sitter, charges me $30 a week to watch my son James for 3 days a week, approximately 3 1/2hrs a day. (yes, I believe she is a true Saint). She also feeds him dinner and provides snacks. A few times a month she even feeds me dinner.

Vera and I both had our kids in sports camp last week. The camp was on one side of the school, and a carnival is on the other side. So last night I picked up dinner for me, Vera and her husband. She had packed sandwiches for the kids. We had a picnic and then we took the kids to the carnival.

So back to my money spending point. I paid Vera her $30, it was $27 for the take out I picked up, $20 for a wrist band for my son to ride unlimited rides. and I had another $10 of blow money for my son. So in the matter of a few hours I spent $87!!!

Vera tried to refuse her usual $30 saying that I bought dinner. I insisted she take it becasue of what she does for me. I refused to take any money for the food because well they feed me all the time! And the carnival was a true treat for my son as this will be the only carnival I take him too. And he had a great time!

So I know big picture I'm very lucky but today I am not comfortable with the amount of money I spent.

Yes I can afford it, I have no debt, bills are paid, savings in action, etc, etc.

does any one else get this way after spending money??

[danni]

I feel the same way usually. Last week I had to buy a new bra and I felt guilty about it for 3 days. I am very large chested and need a specialty size so this 1 bra cost $80. I know I need it and a good quality bra lasts me quite awhile so I shouldn't feel bad but I kept thinking about what that could have done if I put it on debt or in savings.

You shouldn't feel guilty. I keep telling myself that paying off debt and saving money is very important, but living is too. Sometimes you have to treat yourself and the people you love and enjoy the money you have worked hard for.

So stop feeling bad and instead think of the memories you made with your son and friends.

[frugal is fun]

The feeling isn't guilt.

its spending money and having nothing to show for it. And I've gotten into such a strict way of thinking about money that even though I know what I did was the right thing to do but I just don't want to spend any money!

The norm for me is not to buy people dinner LOL!. Normally what I would do is make some kind of food and bring it, not buy it. But because of work and schedules and all that, I had no time to make something ahead of time. So I dished out the $27 for the food.

and now because I'm feeling uncomfortable with spending the money I feel like a tightwad!

[Cricketlegs]

Here is my perspective on the whole shewalla.

I make my monthly budget. I break it down into 3 pay periods. I know what I need to do everyday of the month to be a responsible money handler for our family.

We do get allowances($250 a month each) for fun stuff.

Now, my $250 goes into a envelope until I reach $2000 to pay for my dds wedding. It is MY money to spend as I wish and I plan to spend it on my dd so there is no drain on the budget. It is budgeted in.

Painless, yet effective.

My advice to you is to set an allowance for the month. You can do it all at once or pay periods. Whatever way suits your budget and lifestyle. That way you can afford to go to the carnival once a year or buy a meal to say thank you without feeling like you do now.

If it is in the budget, the allowance is affordable and reasonable, then it is no different than paying the water bill.

It is IN the budget.

PS Your babysitter is a real gem!

[shoiji]

I felt this way last night. I actually ordered out for the first time in I don't know how many months. The food came and all I could think was I spent how much for this. Sure I enjoyed it, but I really do not think I enjoyed as much. Just have gotten into a different way of thinking.

[JanieD]

I think I understand & have similar issues with spending money. Actually, I have trouble spending money on even planned purchases.

Like Cricket, I have an amount as spending money each payperiod & often use a portion to save for certain things (Christmas, large purchases). However, I hate seeing the money disappear from my wallet whether its to eat out or its spent at a favorite store.

I'm sure some see this as being a "tightwad", but I think its a good thing. I see it as being a "saver".

[Inkstain82]

Experiences last a lifetime. I never feel bad about spending money I can afford on them, and especially not for a child.

[mek42]

I'm feeling less and less satisfied when I eat out. If I eat out now, I expect that the food will be better tasting and more copious in quantity than we are able to prepare at home.

It is so hard to be satisfied now that we're improving our cooking skills.

Maybe honestly assess inside yourself whether you feel you overpaid for the event and if so, why. Maybe you've reached a point where, while not time to start spending silly, it might be time to loosen the reins just a little while continuing to work on future goals. Sometimes it is ok to buy the Harley (DR / FPU reference)!

And, in honesty, I don't think that you spent $87. You would have spent $30 even if you didn't go to the carnival, so you actually spent $57 above and beyond what you were already obligated to.

As an employer, maybe you could think of the take-out as a bonus for good services rendered?

[Darlene]

One time I really feel that way is when I pay my taxes.

You bought yourself quality care for you son and had hours of smiles, laughs and good food with people you love. You got yourself a bargin. Speaking of special things, that Sister of yours is a real Gem.

[Ali Lee]

Your sitter~~ I would buy her a bunch of 3.99 flowers from Aldi's... she's a keeper!

[Libby]

Experiences last a lifetime. I never feel bad about spending money I can afford on them, and especially not for a child.

I agree. I save my money, only buy what I need etc and I have discovered that I don't 'need' much but just simply 'want'. Instead of buying 'wants' for the sake of instant gratification or having something to show for my money....I'd rather go w/o 'wants' and have plenty of experiences/memories. I feel those are priceless however if its something you do often and try to justify it by using this reason, then not so much.

Simply put: I'd rather spend my money on memories vs souvenirs.

[mndtrp]

Experiences last a lifetime. I never feel bad about spending money I can afford on them, and especially not for a child.

I agree. Saving in certain areas allows for spending in others. I don't buy many objects, but I do spend money on doing things with people, and I certainly don't feel guilty about it.

[Elizabeth CM]

There is so much feeling tied up in money!!

For me, because I spent without really being responsible for the first 30+ years of my life, when I splurge now there is this rock in my stomach because it reminds me of how easy it all was not to care, not to be plugged in.

We have a big (for us, anyway) July 4 party every year. It is the only party we ever throw outside b'day kids parties. It costs about $150 to throw it - which I know is nothing at all compared to some parties. But I certainly do get "buyers remorse" the next day for a while because, like Judy pointed out, I have nothing to show for it.

It's easy for me to get wrapped up in the fear of going back to the way things were and to being judgmental INSTEAD of just frugal.

You bought goodwill yesterday. You reciprocated this lovely generous person's constant outpouring to you. You did something that was hard for you (pay money) in order to secure a delightful memory.

As Libby says, you paid for memories.

I'm with Mek42 and Cricket - the lesson is there; maybe that feeling is trying to say "budget for fun". You've done SO well - so once all the bills are paid, and the savings is tucked away, it might be time to exhale and allow yourself and ds some of those things that money DOES buy - like treating the wonderful people in your life to a ride on a tilt-a-whirl or a pony ride at a fair or some fried dough.

And that babysitter? Yeah, wow!! Awesome, awesome!!

[frugal is fun]

Your sitter~~ I would buy her a bunch of 3.99 flowers from Aldi's... she's a keeper!

I actually do do this from time to time or show up with a bottle of wine or something just for her.

I was going through a very very difficult period in my life, just divorced, abusive boyfriend, new boss at work, etc when Vera came into my life.

My new boss changed my hours his first day on the job and I put a message out to my moms group that I didn't know what I would do about child care and Vera said "I'll watch him". just like that!

that was 18 months ago and she is now one of my closest and dearest friends.

So yes, God blessed me the day Vera answered my plea for help!

anyway, thank you for all of your thoughts and insights into my emotions. Appreciate the comments!