Funny phone calls

**imagine** · 07-13-2010, 11:43 AM

Have you received phone calls that just made you shake your head or burst out laughing?

Share them with us so we can laugh too.

________________________________________________

Here is my first one

We had just moved into a new home ( with a new number)

The first phone call I answered went like this
Me: "Hello"
Them: "Can you tell me if you have a swimming pool"
Me: "Why"
Them: "Because we aren't going to stay with you if you don't"

Next Phone call went like this
Me: "Hello"
Them: Can you tell me how much money I have?"
Me: "No"
Them "Well, what kind of bank are you?"

That is when we learned that our new number was the campgrounds old number and it was also one number off of the banks. LOL

**imagine** · 07-13-2010, 11:51 AM

Second funny phone call:

We had been receiving phone calls asking if Dr. Smith was there. I would say no and they would ask me to check.

After several calls like this I received one that went like this:
Me: "Hello"
Them: "And now what do you say?"
Me: "Pardon?"
Them: "You are suppose to say who you are and where you are?"
Me: "This is me and I'm at my house"
Them: "What? This is Dr. Smith. I didn't reach my office?
Me: "No"
Them "Oh, I have some apologizing to do. Thank you"

**baxjul** · 07-13-2010, 11:55 AM

LOL @ the doctor.

**imagine** · 07-13-2010, 11:58 AM

Another funny phone call

This one happened when my oldest was three weeks old ( and we had spent a week in the NICU)

I was awaken from a much needed deep sleep nap and in that haze the conversation went like this.

Me: "Hello"
Them: In a very angry voice "Why are you calling my husband?"
Me: " I haven't called anyone"
Them: "Don't lie, I have your number on caller ID"
Me: "I reassure you I haven't done anything lately but nurse the new baby and sleep"
Them: " Is the baby my Husband's?"
Me: "No, it is my Husband's"
Them: in a calm questioning voice "Is this 555-5555"
Me: "No"
Them "oops sorry. Enjoy your new baby and go back to your nap"

**mek42** · 07-13-2010, 01:07 PM

How can you ever complain about life getting free comedy like that?

You seem to handle it well.

The closest I have is when on the phone with the cable company, after telling them my plan to get out from 2 months behind, they asked if I wanted to upgrade my package to add phone. It took effort not to ask, "And this is going to help me get caught up how?"

**piney** · 07-13-2010, 01:20 PM

When one of my grandsons was about 3 years old he had minor sugary and i had to work but at break i called the hospital and asked to speak to----- ----- family and a nurse said sorry he is scrubbed to do an operation i said lady i know he is smart for he my grandson but i seriousely doubt that they are letting a 3 year old do surgery on any one and we both had a big laught.I have always figured there must have been a Dr there by that name it was in another town.

**imagine** · 07-13-2010, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by mek42

How can you ever complain about life getting free comedy like that?

You seem to handle it well.

The closest I have is when on the phone with the cable company, after telling them my plan to get out from 2 months behind, they asked if I wanted to upgrade my package to add phone. It took effort not to ask, "And this is going to help me get caught up how?"

I'm always getting free comedy and it isn't just on the phone. LOL

I look young. My first year of teaching people thought I was one of the students not the teacher and I taught 5th grade.

When I was 26 and visibly pregnant I was a new substitute teacher in a high school/jr high school. When I walked in the secretary said "You are suppose to bring your parents" I must have looked puzzled so she repeated it. To which I replied "Hi, I'm Mrs. ---- I'm your English substitute teacher today" LOL

When I had my first child I was flown by helicopter and the nurse wasn't listening well when he filled out my paper work/or my paper got mixed up and I was listed as a pregnant 16 year old who was a surrogate. It took a while to get that straightened out. Finally every nurse change they would walk in and introduce me. This is "full name" she is 26 and this is her Husband "full name".

There were some very interesting conversations with people who didn't get the official re -introduction.

People say my life should be a sitcom 'cus there is no shortage of situational comedy around here.

**imagine** · 07-13-2010, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by piney

When one of my grandsons was about 3 years old he had minor sugary and i had to work but at break i called the hospital and asked to speak to----- ----- family and a nurse said sorry he is scrubbed to do an operation i said lady i know he is smart for he my grandson but i seriousely doubt that they are letting a 3 year old do surgery on any one and we both had a big laught.I have always figured there must have been a Dr there by that name it was in another town.

That is funny.

**Josephhgoins** · 07-13-2010, 03:44 PM

A few years ago I got a call at work from a bill collector about my phone bill. As we were talking I was apologizing and kicking myself for letting my bill get this far behind. They then started telling me how I had not held up my end of any of the promisses and they were going to have to take legal action. I explained that I was very very sorry and I would put a check in the mail today for the past terms amount. The collector then said thanks, but that wasn't enough. They were going to have to contact my employer and have my wages garnished.

After a few seconds the name of the company hit me. I calmy said, I'm sorry but I don't have an account with you. Who did you ask for again. (deep sigh from the marketer) We are looking for Jody Hamm.

I laughed.

Well, you asked for Jody and was transferred to Joseph. Jody dosen't work here, but his ex-wife does and I am sure she dosen't care if you garnish his wages.

I was in full panic for the first few minutes of the conversation.

**TigerGirl1226** · 07-13-2010, 03:49 PM

When DH was away at college he got a phone call from his father enraged that DH hadn't invited him to his wedding. DH was very confused as to what the heck his dad was talking about, but couldn't get a word in.

Turns out that in their town there is another guy 2 years younger than DH with his same exact name, middle name and all. While he was also away at college, he got a girl pregnant and was getting married. He wasn't telling his parents until after the fact so they couldn't object.

Somewhere in the rumor mill which Garrett was having a shotgun wedding got messed up. Still brings laughs to this day.

**stinkbug** · 07-13-2010, 07:03 PM

We've had a Discover card for about 10 years. There is never a balance, it is paid off every month. Small charges like my OnStar and Netflicks. Anyway, they call to tell me about a new *promotion*

Him: If you use your Discover for dining out in July, you'll get 5% back!!!
Me: We don't eat out (we don't)
Him: But...you will earn 5% cash back!!!!
Me: No...we won't, because we don't eat out.
Him: (obviously confused...) But, but...you'll get money BACK!!!
Me: No, it's a moot point because we DON'T EAT OUT!
Him: But really, how can you do that and miss out on these great savings!
Me: *Click*

**jantana** · 07-13-2010, 11:39 PM

We live about a mile down the road from a funeral home. Come to find out our phone number is only one digit off from theirs, ours is a seven theirs is a one. One day an elderly man called (I didn't know he was trying to call the funeral home.) He wanted to know if the Smith body was ready, I said ready for what? He said for viewing. I blurted out ..like in dead. He said well of course. I said boy do you ever have the wrong number. Later on I looked up the number for the funeral home to see the similarity of the phone numbers. Now people call all the time for them, I just laugh and tell them the correct number.

**Jenny WC** · 07-14-2010, 07:37 AM

Our number use to belong to a place that did gutters and we get calls for it all the time. The first one we got we a lady who instantly said " My new gutter fell down what are you going to do about it?" She called back six times in one day because she thought we was really the gutter place and just didn't want to fix her gutters.

**monkeywrangler71** · 07-14-2010, 07:59 AM

We had a message one time that was so hilarious that we left it on the machine for years. I can't remember all of it, but he sounded very drunk and sad and wanted 'Pablo' to come to 'Flor-eee-da'. Any time the subject of Florida comes up, one of us invariably quotes this line.

Our last phone number was one number off the bank's. I had one guy who refused to believe that a certain bank employee was not there. He was convinced that I was actually at the bank and just didn't know that she worked there, it was extremely frustrating. I always felt compelled to be as polite and helpful as possible to these callers, as it was a branch of the bank that keeps the roof over my head and I didn't want anyone to develop any (more) negative feelings towards the bank after calling.

**ilovechocolate** · 07-14-2010, 08:10 AM

When I was a young teenager we kept getting calls, always from men, asking for "Margarite." Well, it didn't take long for us to realize what profession "Margarite" was in. It got to be a joke with our family about how good "Margarite" must be in her job! But finally my dad got tired of it and decided to put an end to it. (It was happening a lot----she was very popular.) So the next time Daddy answered the phone and the caller asked for "Margarite" Daddy said, "She's not here. They have taken her off to JAIL!" There was a stunned silence, the caller slammed the phone down, and we never ever got another call for "Margarite."