Now I remember why I stopped.........

**WV_mom_of2** · 07-19-2010, 06:46 PM

trying to make friends! After a really rough weekend I remember why it was that I decided to just be nice and friendly to everyone but to not make FRIENDS with people anymore. I always choose the wrong people to be friends with. You know the ones, they want, want, want from you yet are never there when you need them. A couple of years ago I just gave up and I have alot of friendly aquaintances but no real friends.

Early last year I thought I'd FINALLY found a true friend. I made friends with her parents first. They camp at our park alot and they are just the very sweetest people on earth. Then I started spending time with P and her family when they would camp too and we hit it off. She's a couple of years older than me but we just really got along well. We called and emailed all winter and spring and things had been great.

Then she and her family camped along with 3 other couples over the 4th of July holiday. She was actually there for two full weeks. And weekend before last she just went "blank" on me. Stopped talking to me, stopped coming to my office to visit, etc. After she left I made the comment to one of the other couples that she must be mad at me about something and they told me no, she thought I was mad at her. Ummmm gee does my being friendly, spending four of my five days off at my place of employment visiting with her, bringing my kids up and insisting that they take her kids fishing, etc. mean I'm mad? The only thing I can figure is that she is mad because I didn't spend that last day off up there with her so that my kids could entertain hers. I wanted to spend it with my dh since it was his day off too.

So anyway I wait a few days and hear nothing from her. Catch her on Facebook one night and ask if she's mad. Nope she thought I was mad. I tell her no and I'm sorry if I did something to make her think that (although I know I did nothing I'm big enough to apologize). No response and she's avoiding me now. Why can't people just act like adults? Either you are mad and you can say so and we will end it or you aren't mad and you can stop acting like it! Geez!! Back to NOT making friends again.......life is so much easier that way!

**Nana2two** · 07-19-2010, 06:57 PM

I hear you loud and clear.Been there. I have gotten to where, people here and my sampler board are my friends. I guess the ones that find me are intrigued on how im frugal so they stick to me like glue, then. All of a sudden im boring because I'm not out drinking and spending lots of money. They kick me to the curb so to speak. I can be a hermit and sometimes its so much less stress that way.

**WV_mom_of2** · 07-19-2010, 07:08 PM

I just don't get along well with most women I guess. I'm not into shopping, makeup, fancy clothes. I also don't do well with the party crowd LOL. I am a homebody who loves my family and just being with them. I also hate the games that alot of women seem to want to play. You are mad at this one so everyone else should be mad at her too. One little thing and you are mad and not speaking to me. I just don't have time for the crap that so many people seem to want to dish out.

**Momto5RN** · 07-19-2010, 07:22 PM

sorry - i dont play the games alot of adult woman play either -

didnt pay them in high school.... dont play them as an adult-

other than our kids i seem to have more in commom with my pts who are 30+ years older than me than i do with people my own age .

**ladykemma2** · 07-19-2010, 08:23 PM

makes me wonder if the other women didn't stir the pot somehow

**NikoSan999** · 07-19-2010, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by ladykemma2

makes me wonder if the other women didn't stir the pot somehow

I was thinking the same exact thing. Bet you

**kaurand554** · 07-19-2010, 08:36 PM

Women tend to be drama central, from birth........

Women tend to brood, and hold grudges over the silliest things...... instead of just staying what they are thinking or feeling....and be done with it!

Good Luck.. at the campground, I hope she doesn't make it uncomfortable for you; when you are at work!

**Lora88** · 07-19-2010, 08:38 PM

I too am generally a loner because I have found most women to be shallow and materalistic and quite often boring like a character in a John wayne movie I saw once " I prefer my own company and my own bottle " I just hope you werent hurt by this

**fairydana** · 07-19-2010, 08:39 PM

big hugs to you!! I have one true friend that I spend my time with. We have been through the ringer and are still best friends and to me that says a lot. I have made a lost a good many though and was pretty much through with trying to be friends with people!!

**Backtoreality** · 07-19-2010, 08:56 PM

I too find that I don't "play well" with others. Some of my closest allies are over the age of 70+!! LOL I didn't have a BFF in high school or college and I don't certainly have one now. I am the most comfortable when I'm at home by myself or with my family. Hate shopping, makeup and "fashion"!!

**mauimagic** · 07-19-2010, 08:59 PM

How sad that this is the way your 'friend' chooses to live her life - it's too short for all such drama iMHO!!

Please take care of yourself and enjoy the people you want to spend time with!!

**fernykins** · 07-20-2010, 12:00 AM

I have found I don't have anything in common with people my age. They are still doing the same things we did in high school. I am not interested in partying or doing drug or whatever. I love my kids and my grandchildren. I get more out of them then I do with people who say they are my friends.....
Fern

**Liane** · 07-20-2010, 12:07 AM

Life would be easy and uneventful if we were all the same. I can relate to your situation. Relationships with anyone are hard. Emotions that you feel are different from emotions that other people feel. For me I have always been the person that would drop everything and do and do and do for everyone. Where were they when I needed them? You know the answer to that. People are a fickle bunch. It is almost like life is like a box of chocolates

You really never do know what you are going to get. Don't go changing to try to please others. You are not the problem. If others do not see that, that is their issue. Keep on shining, you are a good person and that is all that matters. You can not and will not please everyone. Life is short, choose happiness.

**Paws** · 07-20-2010, 12:12 AM

I can relate...and I definitely feel for you...

I've found most of the women I've been "friends" with,(and I use that term loosely), think I'm a bit aloof and a loner...but the truth is...I don't deal well with the drama most of them like to play out...
Two of my biggest pet peeves are mind games/manipulation and drama.

I just don't have the time nor patience to deal with them...