anger management

**Russ** · 07-25-2010, 08:28 PM

Seems lately I can go from zero to really pissed off in no time flat. I don't know why, I never used to be that way.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hit or directly yell at anyone, but I could make a sailor blush with my cussing and throwing crap. Not throwing at anyone but if I have something in my hand it gets thrown across the yard, not in the house. Today I threw a single size gatoraid against the wall of the barn. Of course I felt like an

afterward and apologized but still...

what an idiot.

What I got mad about is not relevant.

Not sure what I'm looking for here, maybe some tips on how to keep it in check.

And before anyone asks or assumes.. No, I was not drinking. Maybe if I was I wouldn't have got so mad.

**pollypurebred39** · 07-25-2010, 08:31 PM

Passionflower extract is very helpful. Fish oil is a mood modulator

**ravenmaniac** · 07-25-2010, 08:40 PM

Do you think it is the heat? I do not like the heat. My moods are shorter when the thermostat rises. Just something to think about.

**Russ** · 07-25-2010, 08:48 PM

I don't think so because I would rather be outside than in the AC all the time and it really wasn't too bad today, mid 80's lowish humidity.

**frugalwarrior2** · 07-25-2010, 09:46 PM

I feel ya Russ. I am just coming out of very bad cycle of anger and self-isolation because I didn't want to inflict this on anyone.
I put on a lot of weight which i am shedding. I have carried it for 5 years.

Guys tend to shove it all down inside instead of dealing w/ it. Whatever "It" is. Try and identify what's eating you.
-It could be a male sort of menopause thing.
-Or disappointment-living in Mi. w/ it's jobless no prospects atmosphere and real estate dropping like a rock.
It wasn't supposed to be this way-really grips me lately. I did all the right things and it still didn't work out hits me hard.

The anger and cussing is the symptom. Like steam from a leaky valve. Just too much pressure and it's gonna really blow.

If it's really that elusive you need to catch a councelor for a few sessions to get an outside perspective. You don't want to get fired or hurt someone. Everyone needs a tune up once in awhile.

**Nana2two** · 07-25-2010, 10:03 PM

Have your blood pressure checked,even a little rise in it can set you off.To much sugar or caffiene.

**frugalwarrior2** · 07-25-2010, 10:08 PM

YES. NANA IS BRILLIANT. I had forgotten when mine was out of whack i was horrible,livid and had a weird headache. I yelled a lot when my sugar was out of whack too. When was your last complete thorough physical?

**mauimagic** · 07-25-2010, 10:13 PM

What great ideas you have already been offered Russ. I absolutely know the feeling you are describing. The more physically active I am, the less the anger seems to mount and erupt.

Please let us know how you make out with this challenge.

**onencgirl** · 07-25-2010, 11:57 PM

Nana is right... check your blood pressure.

**KeithBC** · 07-26-2010, 12:05 AM

Don't discount the value of courses and counseling. While physical remedies might be appropriate, it can also be useful to find out what the anger is about and work on eliminating those causes.

**Libby** · 07-26-2010, 01:24 AM

I agree with the others - have you tried going to talk to someone who's not in your daily life and 'in the know' so you can talk it out and no one will ever know? Does your work offer an employee hotline so you can get counseling via telephone? (you dont identify yourself, just your employer and give a phone # they can call you OR you tell them you want to call them)

Also...along the lines of sugar, blood pressure - hows yer hormones? Your thyroid could be off balance. I have no problems going from happy go lucky to super cranky all within the same breath and what you just described...sounds similar. I know yer not a big fan of Dr's but ... maybe its time to get checked out?

**Russ** · 07-26-2010, 05:57 AM

I had a checkup about 2 months ago, blood work and all. BP hasn't changed and all the things they check for are similar to past numbers. Wife makes me go no less than every 2 years.

**ladytoysdream** · 07-26-2010, 07:15 AM

Control issues. Not having control over one's surroundings, our jobs, or the economy can make anyone stress or be angry.

Where we live our closest neighbors are 1/4 mile, and then 1/2 mile the other direction. Makes for lots of peace and quiet. I imagine the neighbors hear our roosters and maybe our 2 dogs once in awhile, and we hear their dogs. That is our noise level.
Rural and 3 miles from town. Side road which dead ends in the winter and only 2 neighbors beyond us. So not much traffic.
Can sit on the deck in the rocker/gliders and look at trees and birds. Better than camping for us, and don't have to leave home.

Neighbors can make or break you in my opinion.

The economy is still rough. Even if one has a good job, there is still stress about prices of things, and what the future will bring.

Get more sleep. I find if I get a solid 7-8 hours a night, I am golden. Less than that and several days in a row of lack of sleep, I feel it.

A quiet relaxing hobby will help. Gardening and chickens works for us, and I know you have that there also.
My hubby watches tv, that's his method of unwinding. I read on the computer and lately a lot of knitting which really lets my mind relax.

**2ndGenGranola** · 07-26-2010, 07:28 AM

My whole household's moods are altered by artificial ingredients in foods -- artificial coloring (esp red) and fake vanilla (vanillin) are 2 items not allowed in this house. It almost gets comical.

I don't believe it is sugar in the sugary items that set people off -- I believe it is the over processed corn syrup. I did a little "experiment" on my family with "sugar only" items and cs/hfcs items. The sugar items never set anyone off - even in large quantities. Now, the cs/hfcs was another story. We now call it rocket fuel.

My dr has recently put me on a vegan diet. Since I'm the primary cook, his diet trickles down to the rest of the family. I no longer over react to my stresses (which I was doing) and their is a marked change in the kid's behavior when they eat off diet. I let them have a meat lover's pizza while the babysitter was here Sat since they were begging for some meat stuff. All 3 of them had a meltdown shortly after. My #1 child or my #3 child may have an occasional meltdown but for all 3 of them to meltdown within such a short time doesn't happen unless (1) they are all sick or (2) there is a negative dietary change.

**Russ** · 07-26-2010, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by ladytoysdream

Control issues. Not having control over one's surroundings, our jobs, or the economy can make anyone stress or be angry.

Where we live our closest neighbors are 1/4 mile, and then 1/2 mile the other direction. Makes for lots of peace and quiet. I imagine the neighbors hear our roosters and maybe our 2 dogs once in awhile, and we hear their dogs. That is our noise level.
Rural and 3 miles from town. Side road which dead ends in the winter and only 2 neighbors beyond us. So not much traffic.
Can sit on the deck in the rocker/gliders and look at trees and birds. Better than camping for us, and don't have to leave home.

Neighbors can make or break you in my opinion.

The economy is still rough. Even if one has a good job, there is still stress about prices of things, and what the future will bring.

Get more sleep. I find if I get a solid 7-8 hours a night, I am golden. Less than that and several days in a row of lack of sleep, I feel it.

A quiet relaxing hobby will help. Gardening and chickens works for us, and I know you have that there also.
My hubby watches tv, that's his method of unwinding. I read on the computer and lately a lot of knitting which really lets my mind relax.

Did some thinking for the past hour and a half and have come up with a few things that you have touched upon...

I'm feeling overwhelmed lately, tons of projects at home and see more everyday.

I also get in my mind the things I want to get done and when they don't get done, it frustrates me to no end.
Example: Had plans to finish painting the coop and finish trimming a door in the house. NONE of it got accomplished this weekend. Sunday morning when my wife asked if I would help her it made me mad because I told her my plans for the weekend and all I got was the "doe in the headlight" look. As if I didn't tell her and it wasn't important anyway. Assumption on my part, but that's what I thought and walked away.

I get about 6-7 hours of sleep per night, maybe I need more.

My garden. What can I say about that? I don't feel as though it is in control and the way it should be. I think I tried to take on too much this year. Again, overwhelmed.

Peace and quiet is important to me but I wonder if too much quiet is well, too much? The more quiet it is, the louder ANY noise seems. I need to find a happy medium.

TV irritates me for two reasons..
1. There is nothing worth watching half the time.
2. I think about all the other things I could be doing while I'm sitting on my butt watching TV.

hmmm, typing that made me think a bit more... If I'm not working around the house and goofing off or relaxing, I'm thinking about what's not getting done. That's not good.