Does your husband always go with you

**Nana2two** · 08-29-2010, 02:35 PM

Ok today i have a bday party to go to . I mentioned to my husband last week about it, mentioned to him this morning and now all of a sudden he has things to do. WTH. I get so tired of doing things by myself. When your married you do things as couples. If i wanted to do things has a single person i would have never married!!!He does have a anxiety issue from crowds and i do understand that. He can take a anxiety pill and we would be gone less then 2 hours. Just makes me mad. Sorry off my soapbox now.

**mauimagic** · 08-29-2010, 02:45 PM

Yup, my DH will go anywhere I ask. I'm the one who balks from time to time - don't like large crowds, but sometimes are better than others. Will remind myself that it's not about me but honoring whoever the party is for.

Possible options - Tell him that the plan is to drop by the party and leave after X amount of time.

- Give him the option to signal time to leave and honor it.

I'm sure you'll be able to work something out that works for both of you.

**Momto5RN** · 08-29-2010, 02:45 PM

sorry

whose b-day is it that would probably make a difference to me .

a funny story because my dh and i usuallly do errands and things like food shopping seperately as to not drag the kids everywhere we go people dont see us together alot.

one day he went to CVS forgot his card used our phone # which was my card and the clerk there that knows me well and knew him also was shocked to know were were married LOL ! After 5 years of us going there she had never seen us together lol

**Syn D** · 08-29-2010, 02:48 PM

Sorry, but yes, my husband usually always goes with me.. Only time he doesn't is when work calls or I don't want him to..

Neither of us like crowds/groups, so that is never an issue..

**NikoSan999** · 08-29-2010, 03:00 PM

Depends on who it's for. Probably 50 50...but probably wouldn't bother me...we're together 24/7

**Nana2two** · 08-29-2010, 03:03 PM

Its my best friends little girl. My BF husbands has helped my husband many times over and i think out of respect he could attend a hour or so. Just makes me upset thats all.

**Momto5RN** · 08-29-2010, 03:12 PM

in that case i agree with you. its not like he doesnt know the people who are having it well.

does he not like taking the anxiety meds ? is there a side effect that he is uncomfy with ??

**Syn D** · 08-29-2010, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by Nana2two

Its my best friends little girl. My BF husbands has helped my husband many times over and i think out of respect he could attend a hour or so. Just makes me upset thats all.

So they are probably expecting him and it's being left up to you to tell them why he didn't come? The friends husband are probably hoping men come..

**Trishagirl** · 08-29-2010, 03:17 PM

My dh always goes w/me. He's pretty dependable for things like that. You have a right to be upset and let your dh know your feelings maybe he will change his mind.

**jas** · 08-29-2010, 03:23 PM

Usually my dh will not go. He does know some parties-events are required of him. So he goes and its no problem. He is not a social butterfly by any means and after work it takes a lot to blast him out of the house. He has a few projects that he works on. Mostly a car. He likes his alone time.

Me on the other hand will go and do. I am home alone for the most part of the day so if there is some gathering I am up for it. I don't go as much as I'd like though.

Hope you get him to go with you. I have to say though about two years ago now I was dealing with some heavy anxiety issues and did not go anywhere that was not absolutley unavoidable.

Hugs to you!

**Nana2two** · 08-29-2010, 03:33 PM

Yeah he is not a social butterfly. I have anxiety issues also but, i put my own needs aside.I guess i will grin and bare it.

**Mom2-3** · 08-29-2010, 04:08 PM

Yes, DH and I go everywhere together. We even do the grocery shopping together. We don't get much time during the week, so we go together even if it is to the pool store! Weird to some, but works for us

We always double check with the other before agreeing to attending an engagement. Sometimes (not often) only one of us will attend.

**Persimmon Lace** · 08-29-2010, 04:16 PM

It depends and honestly, we discuss these things before the party, like a puredeoh discussion. And if it's close to home we take 2 cars so that we don't feel trapped where ever it is we are. We go to places together but if I don't want to go I don't and neither does he.

**Momto5RN** · 08-29-2010, 04:18 PM

have a great time with your friends and try not to dwell on him not being there .

i dont think couples that do everything together is weird i think its sweet.

although i dont get it it when i see a couple with 3 little kids shopping the grocery at 9pm and the kids are tired and crying and the parenst are sniping at each other and the kids - you can tell they are both getting stressed and the kids are too - to me would make more sense for one to be at home with the kids than to torture the kids and anyone else in the store who has to listen to their screaming LOL!!

i wonder if there is some trust issue ( they are usually bickering the whole time shopping ) or if it just never occured to them that they would get it done 2x as fast if one stayed at home with kids and even dropped them off and came back later to pick up ( i live in an area where its not alot of travel to a grocery )

my fav grocery parking lot has a large hill you need to go up - i have a hard time in the winter months with my fibro getting a even half full cart to my car -dh really doesnt like grocery shopping - i shop -call dh when i am checking out - he drives over helps get the cart to the car and we drive home .