Comfortable in Your Own Financial Skin?

**forHISglory** · 09-19-2010, 10:30 AM

It's taken me quite a while to be comfortable in my own financial skin. Just like we go through periods of comparing our looks and build to others, I do the same with my financial status. I'll read the "experts" and wonder if I'm normal or abnormal in how I handle the money decisions. While I still question myself (and probably it's good that I do on somethings), I have become much more confident in my money management. But some things still trip me up.

How about you? Are you comfortable in your own financial skin? Or do you still do the comparing thing and the wondering thing?

I'm starting to write a series of explorations on this topic at my blog. You can take a peek at the first installment....
glorybug.wordpress.com

Would you love your input and thoughts on this journey that we are on!

**Inkstain82** · 09-19-2010, 10:54 AM

It's very hard for Mrs. Ink and I to get used to the idea that the operating principle needs to be "should we afford it" and not "can we afford it" (i.e. do we literally have the money in the bank to cover the costs of what we want to do.)

**Hamada** · 09-19-2010, 11:36 AM

I think I am now. Then again I rent and do not own a car. So that seems to lessen the variables of this is broke and I need to get it fixed soon.

**frugalwarrior2** · 09-19-2010, 11:56 AM

We have made great strides forward this year but i feel the sharks are always circling. After becoming debt free except 2 small mortgages I feel a weight lifted but we still haven't achieved savings and retirement momentum as we should. Of course we would like to help the kids w/ schooling and about a million things in this house need replacing. (not toys-furnaces,air conditioning,front doors that have a crack and such). So i feel in a fragile state but farther than I thought we'd EVER be.

**ladykemma2** · 09-19-2010, 12:47 PM

do i feel comfortable in my own financial skin?

yes.

after the divorce and the upsetting two years after. i finally think that i am doing ok.

i listened to all the gurus and selected what worked for me. i tweaked my budget and learned to freakin' relax a bit

over the summer i hired help with the final post divorce repairs and improvements to the house and i feel like it's finally "mine". the "I have no time" landscaping and improvements that were done (on debt) to accommodate for having "no time" have made my single life easier.

otherwise i was going to have to move because i just couldn't do it all.

no regrets.

**3tomboys** · 09-19-2010, 01:55 PM

I would have told you 6 months ago I was comfortable in my financial skin, but that changed in June when DH was laid off. I am thankful for saving post lay-off and the savings we made during his severance checks, but it was definately a new chapter for us. We look back and realize that we could have been in even better shape had we made some different decissions moneywise along the way. I wonder if being comfortable in my financial skin will be a good thing in the future. When I felt comfortable I didn't always question some of the things I should have when it came to spending money. When I was comfortable my attitude was a little more on the I deserve it mode then is it something we need or something we want. Wants to me are not a bad thing, but I have to remember wants are not needs. Example: My car. We needed a new car and felt we were in a position to go luxury, so we did (of course this came with a car payment). Two years down the road DH (who has had a company vehicle for about 15 years) was told the company vehicles were no longer going to be available but an allowance would be given monthly. A nice allowance! So, we bought (car payment) what we wanted, not what we needed. One month later DH laid-off. Now we have 2 car payments, 1 income. So, I am not sure for me being comfortable in my financial skin is 100% good.

**thesightofoneself** · 09-19-2010, 02:01 PM

nope. i'm sinking

**pollypurebred39** · 09-19-2010, 03:46 PM

Comfortable in Your Own Financial Skin?

No, not sure I will ever be. There is always the unknown out there like serious health issues that could just wipe out millions. DH came from a wealthy family line. His Great Grandfather was a millionaire several times over, back when a million went much further then today. A devastating illness was all it took for that family to be dirt poor

do you still do the comparing thing and the wondering thing?

Yes, when I hear how others have no debt, mortgage paid, retirement funded, I wonder if we are doing everything we can. I wonder if I'm being selfish about my no longer hanging clothes, or using paper plates, or buying prefab foods like casseroles now instead of making my own. I decided to do it for health reasons, but still I feel selfish and very unfrugal. I often feel very materialistic compared to a lot of other frugal peers. I know in reality this is not true, one look in my closet that echoes tells me that, but when I hear all the I took empty milk jugs, used bubblegum, and twisty ties and fashioned myself a handbag, curtains for the windows, and a throw for the sofa, I feel like I fall woefully short on the I'm not materialistic scale. I also feel a sense of judgement from some of my frugal peers in our choices, that makes me wonder

**gapeach** · 09-19-2010, 06:21 PM

It has taken me years to feel comfortable. I had a long tough road and I learned many lessons along the way to get to this point. And though I didn't like it I am glad I had that journey in my life as I am the better for it.

**dcompton** · 09-19-2010, 08:21 PM

I would say yes. My major concern is retirement not many years down the road, and for a number of reasons I am playing serious catch up. I live a moderate life with moderate wants, and without depriving myself of what I really want or making my life bleak, I am agressively saving for it, putting all I can toward it.

About once a year I reallly focus on it and confer with our 403b advisors to be sure the allocations are still appropriate. Then I pretty much let it go. I am doing the best I can, all I can, to prepare, and beyond that, what will be, will be. I refuse to let today, the only day I am guraranteed to have, be clouded by worries of what may or may not happen in the unguessable future.

**frugal is fun** · 09-20-2010, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by ladykemma2

do i feel comfortable in my own financial skin?

yes.

after the divorce and the upsetting two years after. i finally think that i am doing ok.

i listened to all the gurus and selected what worked for me. i tweaked my budget and learned to freakin' relax a bit.

This is me too! I was actually doing my paperwork yesterday, looking through, or I should say Reading my monthly statements, reading the letters I receive, doing the math, adding things up. Although its going to take me until this time next year to have a fully funded EF I am very comfortable in my financial skin. I know what I have to do and I have a system that works for me and I'M DOING IT!

I have made HUGE strides with my finances over the past two years and I am comfortable in my financial skin.

**krbshappy71** · 09-20-2010, 11:37 AM

I am comfortable in that I don't want what everyone else has, but that's not usually an issue for me anyhow. My brother's always had more financially and has always been miserable. Friends of mine have more financially and are miserable, so I don't usually look at people around me wanting what they have.

I love my job, where I live, my house, my pets, I'd say the only thing I'm not comfortable with is the status of my finances on paper. Nothing can happen to anyone and that's not a secure feeling.

**KeithBC** · 09-20-2010, 12:40 PM

I'm not reading the question as, "am I comfortable with my financial position?" I'm never going to be totally comfortable with it, because something could always happen that I am not fully prepared for. Fine to have a pension fund, but what if the fund collapses? Fine to have savings, but what if the bank collapses?

I interpreted the question as, "am I comfortable with who I am as a financial planner and with the decisions I have made?" Yes, I think I have made good financial plans. I know that something could go wrong with them, and I am okay with that. I think i have achieved a good balance between worrying and planning.

Does that make sense?

**forHISglory** · 09-20-2010, 03:02 PM

Yes, Keith. It makes absolutely perfect sense. Thank You!

**annymoll** · 09-20-2010, 08:29 PM

I am comfortable in my financial skin, as far as where I am. But not how I got there. I know and understand what I need to do, but have often depended on DH to make major financial decisions.They have not necessarily been my decisions, although they have been good decisions.I want to be more financially assertive, especially with my own accounts. I don't compare myself with others, but I do listen and absorb and learn from what I hear about the financial state of others- both good and bad.