Tooo.... tired... to think.

**hollyhill** · 10-02-2010, 11:25 AM

Don't go any further if you don't want to read about me feeling sorry for myself.

As some of you know my 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes last year. We do have the routine down to a science... blood sugar testing, injections, emergency packs when we go out etc etc..

But the horrible thing about this kind of disease is it never stays THE SAME! Just when you figure out you have the ideal insulin amounts and injection routine, something changes... Like the honeymoon period ending, puberty hormones, growth spurts... and the constant worry of illness, especially flu!

When things change I have to get up at night constantly either because of dangerous lows happening or stomach aches from high blood sugars...

I am tired and exhausted.... I feel brain dead.

Sorry. I just had to complain to someone. Sorry.

**Natalie's Nesters** · 10-02-2010, 12:37 PM

Hollyhill, been there many a times. My 15 year old son was diagnosed at age 1. In Jan. of this year, he went on the pump. He does take care of alot things. But the planning and worry is always there! So, I totally get it, hugs to you, it really does get easier!

**hollyhill** · 10-02-2010, 02:20 PM

Oh my Natalie... I can't imagine having had to deal with this for 14 years.

How is puberty effecting him?

How does he like the pump?... I know it does change the fiddling of dosages just the mode of insulin intake. My daughter wants nothing to do with it. She doesn't want to be attached to anything, and because she swims alot she doesn't want the site to be visible. In same ways being older when diagnosed has it's own set of problems.. she remembers what it was like before she was diagnosed, and she is aware of every little thing that has changed for her. Also, fears of going to sleep etc
I think we may need to go to a counseler at Children's hospital.

**Natalie's Nesters** · 10-02-2010, 02:36 PM

I feel for you and your daughter Holly, my son has no idea what it is like to be insulin free. He loves the pump, no more worrying about having insulin on him all the time. The port( where the tiny needle is) is the size of a nickle. You can not notice it at all, my son swims, does golf and marching band, he has not had any problems. If I may suggest finding a group of teenagers with diabetes, she needs to know she is not alone. When was she diagnosed? The best advise I can give you is not to take her blood sugars personally. You are doing your best and she is lucky to have a parent who cares. You would be surprised how many parents are too laid back and do not give proper care. Kuddos to you Mom!

**mauimagic** · 10-02-2010, 05:27 PM

Holly - I remember when she was first diagnosed - how scaryr those times were for you.....you have both/all come so far. It doesn't seem fair that there are unknown/new things to juggle now. A counselor sounds like a wonderful idea - as does finding a group of like minded teens.

Of course you're tired - you are running on empty. This will not last and you will get back to 'normal' - whatever that is - again.

Sending prayers, aloha and hugs to you all.

Please keep us updated when you have time - not only for you and us - buth also for those people who read your posts and will be soon walking in your footsteps.

**mamamia** · 10-02-2010, 06:58 PM

Aww, no Holly! Please don't apologize. I think we'd all agree that we're glad to be here for you. Like they say.."everybody needs a shoulder to cry on". Well, here we all are, and happy to send a hug or two.

I.m sorry for what's going on with your daughter's health, and wish things could be different for you and you and her. It's really something how the illness of one family member affects the rest of the household, and of course the bulk of it does fall on the mom.

But please hang in there Holly! And remember it takes a special kind of person to do what you're doing! You just have to admire the stamina that comes from a mother's love. Even in the face of exhaustion, somehow, from somewhere deep inside, we always find just a littIe bit more to give. I can't imagine what your girl would do without you, and I bet she just loves you more than anything!

Sending HUGS!

Theresa