Was told I have to say hi to co-workers

**shoiji** · 10-04-2010, 02:39 PM

So my boss tells me to close the door when I walk into his office. He state that so and so wanted to know why I looked away from them when they said hello.

I told my boss that they creep me out. Not the first time mind you because I told him in the summer the situation. So he proceeds to tell me that I have to say hello but I do not have to be friends with them.

Anyway, the reason they creep me out is I find them checking me out and not saying anything. How would you feel if you are basically just sitting there doing your job and they someone starts learing at you smiling and not saying anything. Plus I would not have known this was happening until a security guard pointed it out that they always come around when I start work.

My other opinion is why is it so important to them in the first place. To me it just justifies my creep out factor. These people are supposed to be adults but apparently are still in high school.

I want to be obnoxious and say to them the next time I see them Hi, want to make sure I said hi and nothing is wrong. But I will try to be nice.

Oh yea, I should mention I am a volunteer there and have already decided my boss really has no right telling me who I should say hello to.

What does everyone else think? Sure I know all the political crap about departments needing to be able to work together but it isn't as if I am making their job difficult. And I really do not want to socialize with them since I know it will just open a door for them to socialize more with me.

**Russ** · 10-04-2010, 02:45 PM

torn here...

No pay = why should you have to say hello? Look for other volunteer work.

OTOH = what harm is there in saying hello?

**Judi Dial** · 10-04-2010, 03:27 PM

I think Russ is partly right, you should look for other volunteer work. But I also think that creepy guys should NOT be encouraged.

I know people who were stalked, it isn't fun or pretty.

Judi

**Telephus44** · 10-04-2010, 03:35 PM

I would have no problem with verbally acknowledging the presence of someone I felt was creeping me out. At least it says to them "I know that you are there staring at me."

**frugal is fun** · 10-04-2010, 03:44 PM

I would make sure that your "boss" had documented your complaint about said person. that you find this person looking at you in an inappropriate manner and it makes you feel very uncomfortable. If he hasn't then I would go to the hr dept.

You have to be careful here, if you start saying hello to Mr. Creepy then Mr. Creepy may see it as an open invitation. But like someone said, if you say hello I would look them directly in the eye and be confident when you do it.

**shoiji** · 10-04-2010, 04:13 PM

Lets just say I have more than enough mr. creepies walking into my life to know the last thing you want to do is encourage them. One time they were moving something for a manager and saw me sitting there working and tried to talk to me. The manager stopped them and said that is great you guys thanks alot. Greatfully deflecting the on coming unwelcome advancements.

I volunteer there because I enjoy what they do. If the boss keeps being an idiot I will try to get to a different department which should not be hard since the place is short handed and I am already helping out in another area.

So I try to do what frugal is fun suggested. Say hello and just keep it at that. But seriously I know it will be just opening a door for them.

Think about it. Why is this so important to them that they have to say something to my boss? I have been there a year and have yet to have to deal with their department. So far there has been completely no need to speak with them for any type of business related purpose.

**LuLuBleen** · 10-04-2010, 04:27 PM

Don't say hello or acknowledge this creep in any way. What can your boss do, fire you?

If this were a real, paying employer you could just move up the chain with a sexual harassment claim. Your boss has made it clear that he doesn't care about your safety concerns, so you're on your own. Please watch your step.

Sorry you have to deal with jerks.

**shoiji** · 10-04-2010, 04:28 PM

Thanks LuLu. I thought this also about my boss. Does he care about my safety? Doesn't seem like it.

**zakity** · 10-04-2010, 05:50 PM

Do you have a large male friend who could come by "for lunch" and pretend to be your boyfriend? What about a cheap ring (sort of resembling an engagement or a promise ring) worn on the correct finger (is it right or left ring finger)?

**mauimagic** · 10-04-2010, 06:03 PM

I would transfer to another department to volunteer and make sure that your concerns were documented in writing......or find another worthy cause to volunteer for.

**Saydee** · 10-04-2010, 09:20 PM

I had the opposite problem....I would say hi and they wouldn't even answer me. These are newer hires. I've been at the same place 23 1/2 years and it seems to be the new hires that are this way.

**MTS04** · 10-04-2010, 09:44 PM

Personally, if it creeps you out. Simply state " Hello, stop staring" If it continues. Once more, "Stop staring, it is unwanted" If it continues, go to your boss and start a sexual harrasment file with HR.

**Ceashels** · 10-04-2010, 09:51 PM

I would definitely let HR know what your boss discussed with you and why you have previously declined acknowledging mr creepie. It is something that should definitely be documented, especially since a security guard pointed it out to you! Once it is documented you can ask HR what they recommend you do in your situation. They may actually NOT want you saying hello to this person and for you to not "provide" any invitations to him talking to you.

You could also confront mr creepie the next time you notice him staring at you by asking him (with witnesses around) why he stares at you so frequently and asking him to stop because it gives you the creeps. You may find that the behavior changes because others will now be aware of the situation.

**2ndGenGranola** · 10-04-2010, 09:53 PM

Did he tell you how you had to say hello? What about a hello with that "whatever" tone with an eye roll that teens are so skilled with??

Next time he is staring at you start digging in your nose or let a nice loud stinky. Do what it takes to make you more creepy to him then he is to you. Be creative.