I'm in a little pickle...

**mom23boyz** · 10-19-2010, 11:07 AM

So I have placed myself in an awkward position....I am on Facebook and have connected with many friends and ALOT of family both my side and my Dh side. I had my BIL's ex wife AND his current...my SIL on my friends list. Always had them both on Myspace as well...never an issue so never thought twice about it. WELL a few months back I had made a status update about my DH changing my kitchen around when I started school. This in turn created a comment from the ex sil re: BIL...a not so nice one. It began to spiral I guess @ home because ex SIL sends me a message talking about BIL and it was all drama!!! Next thing I know I realize SIL has deleted me...I ask her about it and she explains she can't have ex SIL seeing anything about her kids and their lives. Well exSIL posts ONLY about herself not my nieces and nephews of hers(they are older and I have them on my lists) where as FB is the connection between me and SIL most of the time as far as what the kids are doing. So I go ahead and quietly delete the ex SIL on FB...few weeks go by and now she sent me a message asking why I deleted her and what did she ever do to me....now what??? I don't know what to tell her....only time I see her is maybe at a funeral or something but my SIL has to deal with her ALL THE TIME so I don't want her to know its because of SIL per say!

Any suggestions?

**Greebo** · 10-19-2010, 11:18 AM

Yeah.

Stay the hell out of the middle of two other people.

**druthb00** · 10-19-2010, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by mom23boyz

So I have placed myself in an awkward position....I am on Facebook and have connected with many friends and ALOT of family both my side and my Dh side. I had my BIL's ex wife AND his current...my SIL on my friends list. Always had them both on Myspace as well...never an issue so never thought twice about it. WELL a few months back I had made a status update about my DH changing my kitchen around when I started school. This in turn created a comment from the ex sil re: BIL...a not so nice one. It began to spiral I guess @ home because ex SIL sends me a message talking about BIL and it was all drama!!! Next thing I know I realize SIL has deleted me...I ask her about it and she explains she can't have ex SIL seeing anything about her kids and their lives. Well exSIL posts ONLY about herself not my nieces and nephews of hers(they are older and I have them on my lists) where as FB is the connection between me and SIL most of the time as far as what the kids are doing. So I go ahead and quietly delete the ex SIL on FB...few weeks go by and now she sent me a message asking why I deleted her and what did she ever do to me....now what??? I don't know what to tell her....only time I see her is maybe at a funeral or something but my SIL has to deal with her ALL THE TIME so I don't want her to know its because of SIL per say!

Any suggestions?

I was totally laughing as I read this, because I can totally relate to the crazy family drama. I know FB's privacy settings are really complex anymore, so I'm not sure there's a way around your exSIL seeing what you or your SIL post about her family (is that right? that's the problem?) Anyway, about her message saying "What did I ever do to you?" Well, she's the one that started the problem posting a nasty comment about your BIL. An adult should know better than to say something like that on a social networking site. I'd leave her deleted to make your life easier, since you only ever see the woman when someone dies...why not? It's not like she's going to bring up a petty Facebook quarrel at someone's funeral...and if she does well..that's another topic altogether LOL.

**nodmicks** · 10-19-2010, 11:30 AM

I'd just politely explain the negative comments make life too complicated. You can block people so she can't see you anywhere. Maybe she will think you deleted your account??? Like you said you rarely see her and are not close

If it makes you feel any better and ex my hubby had OVER 20 years ago is on my sil's page. I made a comment to my sil after she had her cc stolen about what to do. Dh's ex from 20 years ago thought it was about her stealing his credit 20 years ago. I about peed my pants laughing. Like I give a thought to 20 years ago LOL

I think the blocking feature on FB is wonderful!!!! I have blocked a few people in advance that I do not want to be able to send friend requests etc.

**nodmicks** · 10-19-2010, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by druthb00

I was totally laughing as I read this, because I can totally relate to the crazy family drama. I know FB's privacy settings are really complex anymore, so I'm not sure there's a way around your exSIL seeing what you or your SIL post about her family (is that right? that's the problem?) Anyway, about her message saying "What did I ever do to you?" Well, she's the one that started the problem posting a nasty comment about your BIL. An adult should know better than to say something like that on a social networking site. I'd leave her deleted to make your life easier, since you only ever see the woman when someone dies...why not? It's not like she's going to bring up a petty Facebook quarrel at someone's funeral...and if she does well..that's another topic altogether LOL.

If the SIL blocks the ex SIL she will never see a thing.

**Greebo** · 10-19-2010, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by nodmicks

If the SIL blocks the ex SIL she will never see a thing.

Good point. The block function puts the problem back on the parties involved.

Tell SIL to block ex-sil and you can re-friend ex sil and they'll never know.

**Dancing Lotus** · 10-19-2010, 11:56 AM

and here in lies the problem with these things..... Good luck

As of yesterday my mil is on FB now. This will change the way I post forever.

**Ceashels** · 10-19-2010, 02:38 PM

You can omit a friend from seeing your status update. There is a little lock beside the share button that lets you customize who views your post.

**Kitten20** · 10-19-2010, 02:47 PM

I wouldn't re-friend the ex-SIL if it were me. You have the kids as friends, so you won't be missing anything there. And it was childish of her to post her drama about her EX on your status. Sounds like she needs to get over it already. I gather that the two of you aren't close, so it doesn't seem like much of a loss and in exchange, you get to keep the peace with your family (SIL).

**starsapphire** · 10-19-2010, 04:24 PM

Stuff like this is one of the several reasons why I'm not on facebook.

**mndtrp** · 10-19-2010, 06:54 PM

I wouldn't worry about it at all. I delete people all the time. If I don't approve of several status updates, get tired of hearing about every little thing they do, or if I actually haven't heard from them since they asked to friend me, I delete away. They'll get over it, probably in less time than it took me to hit the delete button.

**druthb00** · 10-19-2010, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by mndtrp

I wouldn't worry about it at all. I delete people all the time. If I don't approve of several status updates, get tired of hearing about every little thing they do, or if I actually haven't heard from them since they asked to friend me, I delete away. They'll get over it, probably in less time than it took me to hit the delete button.

I do the same thing. I had a friend from HS that would pretty much post every thought that ran through her head day in and day out; most of them being to the tune of "Poor me because...." and "I'm so sick of...." Ok, you're gone.

**alotofgooddeals** · 10-19-2010, 07:46 PM

To much drama....and i personally wouldn't worry about it...your facebook page... post whatever you want...

**Imarachne** · 10-19-2010, 07:51 PM

Some things in print don't always come out like you meant and it can sometimes be taken a different way than you intended. Sorry you had so much drama.

**zakity** · 10-20-2010, 04:57 PM

I hide/blocked one lady because she posted religious extremist stuff all the time. She is supposedly Christian, but her posts are so hate laden that I can't imagine that her God is very pleased with her.