How far down is rock bottom?

**krbshappy71** · 10-03-2011, 11:46 AM

Hugs to you. Some people never get it. Prayers for hope that she does eventually and that the children are safe.

**shoiji** · 10-03-2011, 05:43 PM

Your friend is lucky to have you. Unfortunately it could take over a year before you friend has her mental health in control. She may also never be able to properly care for her children.

I truly hope your friend gets all the help for her situation.

**Ceashels** · 11-04-2011, 02:18 PM

Well, I got a call from my neighbor, they were evicted Monday. The kids (ages 11 and below) are in foster care but not back with the family members they stayed with last year.

She asked if I could pick up the mail until they get a more permanent home. Right now they (she, her husband, her mother, and her 16 yr old son) are renting a small efficiency apartment.

I think she actually sounded less stressed than I've ever heard her. I have no idea what they are going to do now.
But surely they have hit the bottom. ?!?!?

**ladytoysdream** · 11-04-2011, 02:24 PM

Being in a apartment is not rock bottom.

Rock bottom would be no place to live, no vehicle, and no income.

**Nishu** · 11-04-2011, 03:28 PM

Do you think she's ever going to get the kids back? I'm sure an eviction doesn't look good.

**Ceashels** · 11-04-2011, 03:38 PM

I don't know. I don't think she is able to care for the younger ones. All of the younger kids need some form of special need (lazy eye, behavior issues, contracted ankles to the point of toe walking only, autism). I just don't think she can manage them together. The infant has never returned home because Social Services realized how difficult it was for her.

At this point I think the kids would be more stable in foster care until Mom and Dad can get their life together. They didn't last 8 months since the kids were returned the first time. I think they would be able to get follow though with Dr visits and get their needs met.

**Uniwolf** · 11-04-2011, 03:44 PM

Ceashels I think that it is probably going to be a never ending cycle for her and her husband. Some people need the drama and the caos (sp) sorry) to feel as if they are "living". My biggest regret is for the children. My second regret is for you. You have become emotionally involved, and I think sometimes that is harder than actually living through parts of it. I hope and pray that the children find the resources to work though this part of their lives and to grow to be responsible adults, and not continue the cycle that they were born in. I also pray that you are able to reclaim your spirit of kindness and your heart for community charity. (not saying that you have lost either but I am sure that they may be slightly bruised and shaken at this moment in time). God bless for all you have done.

**mh3rdwheel** · 11-04-2011, 04:52 PM

Roack bottom is when you have money but not enough to pay for rent etc. 3 years ago we hit rock bottom, we had no where to go when we had the money we lived in a hotel, when we could not afford the hotel we stayed in the truck or with relatives when they allowed us to stay.

I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT AGAIN. I WILL DO ANYTHING TO NOT GO BACK.

**oheoh's momma** · 11-04-2011, 05:55 PM

I am sorry cea this has been emotionally draining to read let alone live beside.I have a socialwork background. There were many problems in this. Mental illness, too many kids with to many problems, little income. Could her mental illness lead to child neglect and their illnesses. I think these kids are much better off. Pray sweetie u and Greebo are saints but please pull back for your sainity. It will suck u in and depress u . Hugs Pen

**Greebo** · 11-04-2011, 06:55 PM

Hate to sound heartless, but I'm nothing but relieved. They were a huge drama sink.

**Nana2two** · 11-04-2011, 07:21 PM

My bestie does foster care in her home. She said if the kids have been put in foster care at least 3 times then the state will terminate parental rights all together. Sounds like alot is going on with these parents.Some cases terminating is the best thing.Very sad and we are seeing more and more of it. Do these parents do drugs? Drink? My grandsons are 4 and 7 they were in bed by 8pm what are the parents doing and how are these kids sneaking out.

**Ceashels** · 11-17-2011, 08:27 AM

No drinking or drugs in the house. She said she couldn't afford to drink so she sticks with her cigarettes to relieve her stress.

I met the contractor who is doing the repair work on the house. It was trashed.

90% of the house will need significant work done, the basement gutted, new cabinets that were torn down, new floors in the rooms, and some new walls.

The contractor was very nice and let me in to show me a little of what she found. The walls were filthy with dirt and crayon and they had just been painted in February of this year. Four dumpsters of stuff and trash were removed.

The landlord has lost over a years worth of rent from this family. Eviction had been on the table since February of this year and was delayed over and over again to give the family more time. I really wish they could have taken the opportunities they were given but I guess they just couldn't get it together enough. The contractor even offered to help her clean out and clean up her house months ago so the family would have a better chance of staying but they wouldn't let her in to help.

The wasted opportunities really get to me. Everyone was trying to help them but they just couldn't accept it.