just need to vent

**arnie** · 11-14-2010, 03:31 PM

I am slowly making some upgrades to my house because I want to sell it in about 18 mos. There are so many things to be done that I am starting now so I can keep on schedule. Most of these upgrades are cosmetic (painting etc).
I wanted to tackle my hallway bathroom today( painting). There is a large mirror on the wall that is rather outdated. I asked my husband to help me get it down. He said it looked fine and why was I bothering. He then decided it was going to be too much effort and said it was dangerous, " why are you always doing stuff", the wallpaper looks fine he says...
Then he proceeds with you just can't sit still can you? He totally deflated my inspiration. I tried to explain that I want to make the house look nicer in preparation to sell it. Since I don't typically ask him to help, I didn't understand why he cared what I did? I walked off in frustration.
You see he is perfectly content to sit all day Saturday and Sunday on the couch. It drives me crazy to do that! There are so many things that need to be done to this house, whether we sell it or not. He has no interest in helping me and I get so discouraged.

**mauimagic** · 11-14-2010, 03:34 PM

Very frustrating - am sorry that you are dealing with this lack of support. Keep going strong - and keep true to yourself. We all vent here - so feel free to return to vent again!!

**Booklover** · 11-14-2010, 04:00 PM

Oh, that is hard for you! He really is lucky to have a wife with so much gumption and foresight.

I have no answers, but a lot of sympathy. I have a friend in the same situation as you, and I see how frustrated she gets, so I understand.

Hugs to you, and I hope he starts helping if he wants to get it done on time. Maybe threatening to hire it done will motivate him? (Not that I'm condoning that, but maybe that will light a fire underneath him.)

**Debbie-cat** · 11-14-2010, 04:30 PM

I feel for you. I don't think men (I will probably be shot for this from Russ

) understand how much presentation matters when trying to sell a house. Don't let him sway you. Stick to your guns and do what you think will help. In regard to the mirror....you say it is outdated. Can you paint the frame a different color while on the wall (very carefully of course) to update it without needing to take it down or needing his help? Just a suggestion.

**stinkbug** · 11-14-2010, 05:07 PM

And now I need to go hug my husband! Who just wandered in and asked..."Is there anything you need me to do for you?"
So far this weekend he has: Blown out the sprinkler system (16 zones) and done repairs of problems he found in the system.
Walked the dog with me
Ran me all over town to look for a new coat, and filled my car with gas
Sighted in his new rifle scope and his handgun
Cleaned his guns
Grilled pork steaks for us for late lunch/early dinner
Now he's puttering in the garage.....
My husband never sits still!
I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you!!!

**MaryCarney** · 11-14-2010, 06:05 PM

Have him watch a few episodes of that home staging show where they tell you how much the house sold for after staging. Sometimes you need to emphasize the Benjamin$, you know?

**NewLeaf** · 11-14-2010, 06:13 PM

My husband isn't always "on board" when I start a project. In his middle age he has started doing alot of sitting on the couch too. So here is what works for me: I tell him what needs to be done and why. I ask him if he will help. Then I usually have to start the project myself. Once he see's me working on something he will then usually jump in and help.

If all else fails I threaten to hire it out (hahaha).

The things I can do myself I just do and don't ask dh to help.

I understand where you are at. It is very frustrating. Just take it one small task at a time.