When your sick you just want to be mothered But what does that mean?

**imagine** · 12-20-2010, 08:06 PM

Everyone says you just want to be mothered when your sick.

I know I do!

But what does that mean. My mom came to visit and keep us company when my family was sick. It was a wonderful visit! But I didn't feel mothered.

All the ladies I spoke to about my mom coming when we were sick... Well their eyes all light up and they smiled and said they said things like "Perfect!" and "Mommy will make everything better".

I don't get it. Do mothers really swoop in and make everything seem better? Do they really pop over and fix everything?

Is mothering real or is it a fantasy? Does it depend? Does everyone have a different opinion on what mothering is ( like the Kleenex commercials suggest - pick your mom)?

What is that smile and heavenly look in the ladies eyes when they mention their mothers coming because they are sick all about?

Thoughts? Opinions?

**Debbie-cat** · 12-20-2010, 09:12 PM

When I am sick I consider being mothered in the following way....

-I don't have to do laundry
-I don't have to cook or clean
-someone brings me tea and Kleenex and medicine
-someone makes me chicken noodle soup
-someone runs a hot bath for me and tucks me into bed

Never happens but I can dream right?

**sunshine** · 12-20-2010, 10:04 PM

My mom wasn't much of the compassionate, pampering type -- she was generally very practical. . . so she'd do the laundry, floors, meals, etc.

I do remember her sitting an washing my face, neck and arms with a cool cloth when I had scarlet tina, and a few times when I'd been up vomiting.

**TigerGirl1226** · 12-20-2010, 10:10 PM

I'm sick now and my hubby is "mothering" me. For me it just means that he is being more attentive and taking care of responsibilities by himself that we usually share. Granted that along with this comes him being more tired and him tired leads to him cranky, but still he is doing a great job.

**thefrugaltribe** · 12-20-2010, 10:20 PM

Being mothered for me usually means a sense that I dont need to worry about things getting done...I tend to be able to drift in and out of sleep and get better.

Althought that hasn't been possible since I had my daughter in June of 2009.

Since then it has been DP that has been doing the mothering.

I guess it comes down to being able to trusting someone to take over your job and with my daughter (my most important job) DP is the one.

**heartofmine** · 12-20-2010, 10:30 PM

I want to be mothered. I've been sick all day. I feel horrible.

**pollypurebred39** · 12-20-2010, 10:48 PM

The last time I was mothered it was by a paid hospital staff.

**mommy2krj** · 12-20-2010, 11:46 PM

Someone just letting me sleep it off and getting me water or soup or just taking care of me.

My youngest will try to "mother" me when I'm sick. It's cute, but being only 3 there's not a whole lot he can really do.

**dcompton** · 12-21-2010, 12:14 AM

When I'm in the hospital, I definitely let the nursing staff take care of me, but for run of the mill sickness, I generally just want to be left alone. I guess I'm the odd one out.

**imagine** · 12-21-2010, 08:27 AM

So mothering is a fantasy then? at least by mothers? at least for us now that we are mothers?

**imagine** · 12-21-2010, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by sunshine

My mom wasn't much of the compassionate, pampering type -- she was generally very practical. . . so she'd do the laundry, floors, meals, etc.

I could so go with that kind of mothering.

**The Muse** · 12-21-2010, 08:37 AM

I had a crappy mother, so mothering is the last thing I want when I'm sick...lol!

One of the things I'd like most in life is a good mother and a strong family (ok, maybe that's 2 things). It wasn't in the cards for me, and I married into an awful family. Now I'm divorced, so maybe third time's the charm? I will never lose hope.

**AmyBoz** · 12-21-2010, 08:42 AM

I'm with the Muse. My mother was no mother at all when I was growing up. So, her brand of "mothering" I can do without. However, when my babies are sick, I snuggle with them, make them soup, and pamper them. I think that is what "mothering" is supposed to mean.

If I'm sick, I do want to be "mothered," and for me that means I just want to be able to rest while someone else does the things I'd be doing if I felt well. I don't necessarily feel better if someone makes me a bowl of soup, but know that when I feel better the dishes will still be in the sink.

**frugal is fun** · 12-21-2010, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by Debbie-cat

When I am sick I consider being mothered in the following way....

-I don't have to do laundry
-I don't have to cook or clean
-someone brings me tea and Kleenex and medicine
-someone makes me chicken noodle soup
-someone runs a hot bath for me and tucks me into bed

Never happens but I can dream right?

exactly, never happens but it would be nice.

I can see mothering more when your kids are small. I know as an adult and out of the house being mothered by my mother ended.

**cab54** · 12-21-2010, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by pollypurebred39

The last time I was mothered it was by a paid hospital staff.

Hah!! So true, ppb!!

For me, it would be cool hands on my hot forehead (my Mom never had any circulation in her hands, LOL),from someone who truly has unconditional love for me. It would be someone bringing me hot liquids, and checking my temp, asking me how I FEEL (hello, DH and DSs?), instead of asking me to do something for YOU. Not making me get up and cook hot things for myself, all achy and chilled. It's NOT asking me if I picked up your dry cleaning while I feel like SHITE!

It's acting as though I have the right to be sick also, realizing how badly I feel (yes, as bad as you feel when you're sick!), and not acting as though my illness is really putting a crimp in your life.