Thought I'd share - the month after Christmas

[Dutchie]

The Month After Christmas

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

[thesightofoneself]

nice and so true. dieting is difficult

[Dutchie]

I would love to take credit for writing this poem but a dear friend sent it to me.
I then googled it and found this poem and many others on a funny website called Christmas Poems

Thy have a long list of poems and well worth a look.
Some of them will move you to tears.

[Sassyclass]

That is cute and way too true.

Cat

[Labontet]

Loved it Dutchie.
I can relate to it SO WELL! Sad but true.