feeling very odd like I liv ein a diffrent time or place

[Luv2BeFrugal]

Wow...I've never heard of the things you're talking about. Produce people have never offered samples here. If someone decides to "sample" here, it's stealing (store workers not offering them).

Most of the places have always had security here. The only thing that has been relatively new is a police sub-station put in the mall about 5 or so year ago. Seems pretty much the same as always here. Sorry things are feeling so "off" to you, there!

[sueh]

I agree with ou Luv2BeFrugal - I've never heard of the things you're talking about either.

We too do not have anyone offering any sampling in the produce dept and if you do it's considered stealing.
We have always has security in the stores you were really not suppose to know they were there as they were plain clothes and usually 'pretending' to be a shopper. Recently here at the local malls we have security guards that are wearing uniforms and riding around on those people movers (or whatever they are called).
I live in a very large town. Most of it is covered by a large state park, but we have a mixture of large stores and then we have some farms as well.
Where I live we lock our doors and cars.
It's definately not like it was when I was growing up.

[arnie]

I would love to live in a place such as you describe. Count yourself lucky my friend and enjoy it.

[hotprincesscm]

I grew up in a town with 7,000 people! It was small...you could leave your house and car unlocked, and everyone knew you or your parents. I now live in a city of 90,000 people...It was a big change for me. We have security at our church! Now that to me seems outrageous!

[The Muse]

That's sort of how it is where I live in Denmark. If/when I move back to the US, I'm definitely going to be looking for my own little Mayberry.

I like that people are kind. A few weeks ago, my health card fell out of my pocket while biking. Our health cards have our address on the front and about 3 days after I realized it was missing, I received it back in the mail. Someone had found it and taken the time to mail it back to me.

I barely see any police here and I cannot imagine seeing security in a store. Last week in the grocery store, I was short the equivilent of about $1 and the cashier told me it was ok to pay her next time I shopped, and of course I did. There are routinely samples of fruit, baked goods, and cheese set out.

The shops here keep their merchandise outside, not just the sale stuff, regular priced, too and shoes, in pairs!

People ride bikes everywhere and go on picnics in the warmer weather. There is an outdoor ice skating rink in town.

It's just a lovely way to live!

I live in a mid-size city, but I don't even dream of finding a place this big in the US where people are so wonderful. So I accept that I will live in a small town if and when I return.

[2ndGenGranola]

We have security at our church! Now that to me seems outrageous!

That did take some getting used to but the world has changed big time in my lifetime. If nothing is going on during the day, our church locks the doors and you have to ring the door bell to get in. They have parking lot patrol and people walking the halls and checking bathrooms. Most baby rooms are now behind locked doors instead of open from the little half door like we were.

[imagine]

Thanks everyone for telling your stories. It has helped to see that the place I live is not so strange after all. I was just faced with all the "strange" things to me and started feeling like my hometown was odd not in step with the rest of you all. Now I see that is not true some are like me some are not.

Where I live the town calls itself the biggest little town. The high school has over 1,000 students so there are plenty of opportunities there and we have a university so there is lots of cultural events. There is local and chain shopping and restaurants. We have everything we need in town maybe not everything we want ( not much choices in clothes shopping for example). Plenty of people walking all over the place including elementary students to school. Big town stuff yet small town feel. Yeah I guess I am lucky.

[imagine]

That's sort of how it is where I live in Denmark. If/when I move back to the US, I'm definitely going to be looking for my own little Mayberry.

I like that people are kind. A few weeks ago, my health card fell out of my pocket while biking. Our health cards have our address on the front and about 3 days after I realized it was missing, I received it back in the mail. Someone had found it and taken the time to mail it back to me.

I barely see any police here and I cannot imagine seeing security in a store. Last week in the grocery store, I was short the equivilent of about $1 and the cashier told me it was ok to pay her next time I shopped, and of course I did. There are routinely samples of fruit, baked goods, and cheese set out.

The shops here keep their merchandise outside, not just the sale stuff, regular priced, too and shoes, in pairs!

People ride bikes everywhere and go on picnics in the warmer weather. There is an outdoor ice skating rink in town.

It's just a lovely way to live!

I live in a mid-size city, but I don't even dream of finding a place this big in the US where people are so wonderful. So I accept that I will live in a small town if and when I return.

What do you consider mid sized?

[erinalexmom]

I forgot to add that at the one store we have in town, he will let you keep a "tab" - they just write it down and put it in the cash register and catch ya next time. Reminds me of Little House on the Prairie and the olsens store....the store is called "Wilsons Market" although the Wilsons havent owned it since the 80's LOL

[GreenChicks]

I feel similarly. People talk abut how stupid, rude and mean kids are, fi. Yet almost of the children I know are very nice. There might be a mouthy one here or there, but in general, I find the children in my large town pleasant. I go to the library, and they are not giving anyone a hard time, I go to playgrounds and nobody is pounding anyone. The children in the markets seems perfectly nice. No demanding sugar etc. Sometimes I see tired children, but that doesn't seem unusual.

Heck, even the librarians are helpful. Nobody gets crazy if you have fines.

People talk abut how ignorant the tellers or cashiers are where they live, and I wonder why the cashiers are nice where I live. How come the gas station attendant wasn't mad when I told him 'fill it up' and I only had $24 on me, when I thought I had more. He just told me to come back later and pay him. Which of course I did. That wasn't even in my town, it was in the next large city over (one of the largest in MA).

The butchers and produce people at my market are always helpful, too.

My sisters are also nice, and so are my parents. None of us are perfect, and sometimes we argue, but it's never a big deal.

[GreenChicks]

We have a few of those here as well. At the milk/egg place, and at the farm with a freezer of meat, you can make change yourself, although at another, it's a lock box. But you can write a note that they owe you change. You can either have it as credit when you come back for more items (and you leave another note about that), or you leave the note to make arrangements for your change.

I forgot to add that at the one store we have in town, he will let you keep a "tab" - they just write it down and put it in the cash register and catch ya next time. Reminds me of Little House on the Prairie and the olsens store....the store is called "Wilsons Market" although the Wilsons havent owned it since the 80's LOL

[The Muse]

What do you consider mid sized?

My city has a population of about 51,000.

[Momto5RN]

this is exactly why i say when people talk about frugality - what is outside your back door may not be outside the next persons.
whether its whats available to you store wise- help wise - job wise even to your kids scholarshp wise can depend on where you live .

Ususally its a trade off- internet frugal friends of mine who cant get great deals like i do at malls - stores- can save money by having gardens buying fresh farm produce- bartering etc -and tend to have a less $$ lifestyle-

not that its a keeping up with the Joneses type of thing- just that here its expected that you have a computer with latest microsoft word for yor kids to do school work on . Theres no payphones anymore so unless you rely on others cells ( which i think is unfair to the owner of the cell and their bill ) - your kids need cells to contact you re sports activities being over early etc


I live in the middle- small town were people know alot about each other esp when you have a school age kid ( which i kind of avoid, happlily so , because my kids go to catholic school in next town ) but near a big city - so sometime crimes creep over to our town - so we keep doors locked at night - lock our cars etc .
but i dont lock myself in during the day - .

i also live within 10 miles of Philly ( over the bidges ) and also one of the poorest- highest crime rate cities in the country in one direction ( camden NJ ) and a mile or 2 from multi million dollar homes owned by lawyers and doctors and some sports stars from teams like the Phillies and Eagles .

In one day for work i can see a pt that lives in a multi million $ home where the family can pay for private help and a person who has no $ is on medicaid - and has had the electricity turned off because it was that or eat .

I think it is very important to be aware of what other people have and dont have . Thats just reality .


So yes my smaller towns stores like acme and walmart does have security - because its so close to where crime comes from as a part of ones life.


i will be honest but when i hear people dont own a TV or dont use the internet / multimedia in ways that let them see the world ( dont know if you do or not ) what concerns me is that they dont see what is going on in the world outside what they know --- yes theres alot of shows / news that are bad and such but one thing i love the best about reality TV ( not the crazy shows but the TLC type shows like little people big world -documetaries about people and how they live ) is that it opens ones eyes to the differences of peoples lives depending on how they live- where they live etc-it helps them to understand what is happening in others lives - to learn and have empathy for others and sometimes makes one very grateful for what they do have.

[mndtrp]

I grew up in a town of 2000. I felt safe, but I feel safe in the city now. I don't always lock my vehicle doors, and if I'm home, I have the front door open. I go for walks, I go to all areas of the city if I have a need, and I don't mind riding the light rail at night.

Some establishments do have security, but are rarely imposing. The security is usually quite nice and polite, and are open to discussing a wide variety of topics while on duty. The public is generally polite and respectful, no different of a ratio than in the small town. I still chat with grocers on the best way to cook what I am purchasing, and I've had other shoppers help me with everything from putting together a recipe to finding the best looking tie to go with a shirt.

Just like in the small town, I know my neighbors. We hang out occasionally, I've helped them with projects, and they've helped me with projects. A new family moved in this summer, and within two months I was helping him with landscaping, and he was helping me build a deck.

All of that is to say, small towns and large cities can be very similar. I feel that a lot of it is what you make it. Respect and awareness can go a long way to creating an excellent life.

[HandyMom]

My city was on the list of top 100 cities to live in the USA. For the life of me, I don't know why because we have crime here too maybe not as much as some other places but we have to lock up our cars and doors - and windows! Maybe it's that we don't have a Walmart type store here or that there are farms around the entire perimeter of this city. The schools aren't that great although we pay high taxes for them and for our property, too. When I looked, we had a lot of child molesters living in our city, too. Too close for comfort, not far from the elementary school. Most kids are not playing outside. The teens are troublemakers, knocking down & ruining cemetary headstones, starting fires, stealing for fun, etc. An older lady got mugged and beaten right on Main street just before Christmas.

Our one big grocery store does put out some free samples on Saturday and gives free coffee and cookies but that too may change.

What I found different was the stark contrast of how things were where I live and how it is in the city of Detroit. There aren't many grocery stores and you can't even take your cart to your car to unload your bags. There are barriers built around the entrance that prevents you taking a shopping cart to your car. I had never seen that before. There are party/liquor stores everywhere and the cashiers are behind thick glass (bulletproof?) and most stores have bars and gates on the windows when they are closed and a lot of them close early.There are security guards at the store entrance of the CVS. Food prices were outragous. It would be cheaper to buy pop and twinkies and chips than it would to buy oatmeal, milk and fruit because that is what is on sale all the time there. People grocery shopping at the liquor store. You get the feeling, when you get out of your car, that you might very well be in danger. It's a scary feeling. You don't like the way people look at you there - as if sizing you up, ready to take you down in a minute.

I used to live there for a short while but I went to the suburbs to do shopping whenever I could. I had my purse taken just because I stopped at a gas station to buy gas. Lucky that is all that happened.

I understand now that things can be much worse or much better depending on where you live. I would love to live in a place like imagine describes. I thought that was what I might find when I moved to this "small" city in the suburbs. Only one high school here, for example.