Frustrating jeans shopping trip Daughter in tears

**imagine** · 01-13-2011, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by ladykemma2

a talior can hem and "take in". or take apart the jeans that fit her now, make a pattern from them , buy some denim, prewash it, and make jeans that are custom fit for her.

Maybe I can widen the ones she just out grew by adding a cool strip down the side. If they worked but she was nervous about wearing them to school she could have them as weekend pants.

Might try that today if the schedule allows

**ladykemma2** · 01-13-2011, 10:21 AM

elastic waists. the long shirts cover them up anyway.

**madhen** · 01-13-2011, 10:24 AM

I believe you can order on-line from Target.

**Sara Noel** · 01-13-2011, 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by imagine

That is exactly what by daughter has worn girly girly clohtes even jeans had flowers on them until recently. She has been teased, teacher uses the word "bullied" for what she wears. I think she is stuck between wanting to wear what she wants to wear (leggings skirts and yoga pants) and not being teased. I think she wants to try and wear what the others wear to see is life is truly better. Plus in the winter the school has always put up a bit of a fuss with her wearing skirts. They feel they are too cold.

Too cold? I'll clarify in case anyone thinks I'm letting my girls wear skimpy clothes during winter. LOL I feel I have to now. LOL

We're in Michigan. These aren't tights or spandex. They're leggings. Some are cotton and some are wool. They wear pull-up snow pants to and from school and during recess. My girls wear hoodies with their outfits, too. Their school is so hot inside that the school suggests the kids wear layers versus long sleeved shirts or sweaters during winter. The kids can literally wear t-shirts year-round. My kids are sweating on the bus, too. But my kids are picked up and dropped off at our driveway by the bus or driven and picked up to/from school by us, too. Anyway...LOL

**Sara Noel** · 01-13-2011, 11:02 AM

As for the jeans. You're just going to have to keep on shopping. Most moms go through this. I've had my oldest daughter try on 20 pairs in a row before school started and we've shopped multiples stores. Then in time, you learn which are too long, too short, too tight, too whatever. And a seamstress/tailor will be your best friend as her body grows and changes through the years. One year you might discover she can pull right from the rack. I love the adjustable waists on jeans for kids. Has saved us many times from hemming pants. And we often get two years out jeans.

**Michelle** · 01-13-2011, 11:07 AM

Aww, I'm sorry she was so upset. It's definitely not right that a child should go through with something like that.

Agree with the vanity sizing. It's annoying that they can't have standardized sizes across manufacturers too.

My daughters have different body types. Kathryn can wear all the skinny jeans out there and look just fine in them. Lauren's shape is totally different, and she can't wear them (or K's hand-me-downs any more). Thankfully she's also a tomboy and doesn't *want* to wear the skinny jeans.

Anyway, I've had the best luck with jeans for both of them at Old Navy and Target. Have you tried either of those places?

Good luck...I hope you find something that works soon.

**dancemommy** · 01-13-2011, 11:09 AM

Try half sizes. My girls are not even "chubby", but the regular sized jeans quit fitting them at around size 10 also. They were too long or too skinny. They carry half sizes at Target, Kohls, Justice, and more these days. Old Navy jeans run a little "wider". We've had good luck with Target brand jeans in half sizes, Levi's from Kohl's and Justice brand. Also, JC Penney's carries tons of half sizes. My girls only need them in jeans, but they carry all kinds of other items as well. The good thing is that once you find a brand that works you can buy a few pairs and be set for a little while. At 12 my daughter is now in the junior sizes and we had to look all over again for jeans that fit- From what I hear, most girls ages 10-12 have a hard time finding jeans that fit so don't feel like she is alone. My daughter's favorite jeans this year are the "sweetheart" jeans from Old Navy in women's sizes with a short length. They fit her well and come up high enough in the waist. I know a lot of people have mentioned Aeorpostale- Did not work well for us at all. Perfect for those with pencil thin legs, but my girls are dancers and have strong legs- poor fit. OH, and moms of boys have the same problems...we had the most awful time finding jeans that are tall enough and skinny enough- for Aeropostale has been great. If you dont' have a lot of shopping near you maybe make a trip to somewhere with more stores and let her try on a bunch of stuff. Good luck!!

**imagine** · 01-13-2011, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by Sara Noel

Too cold? I'll clarify in case anyone thinks I'm letting my girls wear skimpy clothes during winter. LOL I feel I have to now. LOL

We're in Michigan. These aren't tights or spandex. They're leggings. Some are cotton and some are wool. They wear pull-up snow pants to and from school and during recess. My girls wear hoodies with their outfits, too. Their school is so hot inside that the school suggests the kids wear layers versus long sleeved shirts or sweaters during winter. The kids can literally wear t-shirts year-round. My kids are sweating on the bus, too. But my kids are picked up and dropped off at our driveway by the bus or driven and picked up to/from school by us, too. Anyway...LOL

I so agree with you! I don't think you girls are cold at all.

I think my daughter with leggings and skirts is warmer then with thin jeans. Layers plus a air pocket much warmer even outside in the winter weather. In first grade the teacher pulled me aside and said after asking me if dresses where for religious reasons "Don't you think it is too cold to wear skirts?" I said no and stood my ground and explained why. She was then allowed to wear them. Happens every year. The rest of the girls believe that it is too cold so I think that is wearing on her.

**Rhiamon** · 01-13-2011, 11:24 AM

That is exactly what by daughter has worn girly girly clohtes even jeans had flowers on them until recently. She has been teased, teacher uses the word "bullied" for what she wears. I think she is stuck between wanting to wear what she wants to wear (leggings skirts and yoga pants) and not being teased. I think she wants to try and wear what the others wear to see is life is truly better. Plus in the winter the school has always put up a bit of a fuss with her wearing skirts. They feel they are too cold.

That sucks!!! My daughter won't wear skirts or dresses in the winter because she hates the way the feel under her snowpants. I know all about the bulling issue though. DD was made fun for what she wore, what she ate for lunch, the things she liked. She is going to a new school now and so far so good. The one thing I did tell DD was in the end if you are happy with what you like then thats okay because what kind of world would it be if it were not for the people who went against the grain a bit. The astrounats, the cyrptozoologists, paranormalists, scienists. It helped her feel a bit better. Some one told her she was weird and came home upset I told her there is nothing wrong with being weird and the next time just say thank you. That I am still weird. It worked and they looked stunned at her and didn't know what to say.
I think the pressure on girls is so not far. Did you know that a plus size model is a size 10 or 12!!!!!!!! Come on plus size clothing doesn't even start until size 14!!!!! I know that girls reach a certian age and most want to fit in so bad. I wasn't like that though and got made fun of bad. It stopped when I started boxing though. lol I had every colour hair, shaved my head. wore what was comfy and was an art geek. In saying that though I was also Bulimic and still am I guess to a degree. My lowest weight was 110lbs I am 5'7. So I know the feeling of wanting to look a certian way.
I hope that you can find something for her. I like the idea of custom jeans they are real popular and a women makes her living doing that.

**momof2boys2005** · 01-13-2011, 11:24 AM

My friend has a 10 yo daughter that's hard to fit (she's chunky in the middle) and she swears by Old Navy...and because her daughter is chunky'ish there is no way she would dress her in low rise anything or belly tops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**imagine** · 01-13-2011, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by imagine

Maybe I can widen the ones she just out grew by adding a cool strip down the side. If they worked but she was nervous about wearing them to school she could have them as weekend pants.

Might try that today if the schedule allows

Said I might try it and did so. Added it to the top of the to do list.

Half an hour later - Jeans that are about two inches bigger.

Took two jeans ( both in the to hand down pile) plain one and the pretty flowered ones Little Miss loved both the same size, color, and brand. Cut two strip of the plain ones and sewed them in the cut apart outer seam of the flowered ones. You can hardly tell they have been added too you would have to look close and know what to look for. I even had the exact color of thread to match.

I can't wait of Little Miss to try them on I hope they worked.

If they do work I think I will see about taking a third pair of jeans from the to be handed down pile and adding strip of the pink velor pants that where out grown.

**imagine** · 01-13-2011, 11:37 AM

Originally Posted by Rhiamon

That sucks!!! My daughter won't wear skirts or dresses in the winter because she hates the way the feel under her snowpants. I know all about the bulling issue though. DD was made fun for what she wore, what she ate for lunch, the things she liked. She is going to a new school now and so far so good. The one thing I did tell DD was in the end if you are happy with what you like then thats okay because what kind of world would it be if it were not for the people who went against the grain a bit. The astrounats, the cyrptozoologists, paranormalists, scienists. It helped her feel a bit better. Some one told her she was weird and came home upset I told her there is nothing wrong with being weird and the next time just say thank you. That I am still weird. It worked and they looked stunned at her and didn't know what to say.
I think the pressure on girls is so not far. Did you know that a plus size model is a size 10 or 12!!!!!!!! Come on plus size clothing doesn't even start until size 14!!!!! I know that girls reach a certian age and most want to fit in so bad. I wasn't like that though and got made fun of bad. It stopped when I started boxing though. lol I had every colour hair, shaved my head. wore what was comfy and was an art geek. In saying that though I was also Bulimic and still am I guess to a degree. My lowest weight was 110lbs I am 5'7. So I know the feeling of wanting to look a certian way.
I hope that you can find something for her. I like the idea of custom jeans they are real popular and a women makes her living doing that.

The girls also make fun of what she eats. She takes homemade healthy yummy food. Hubby says they are just jealous.

I think she is just trying to fit in. She has had her best friends move away every year since pre-school all out of state ( job loses, promotions etc) Making a good friend and losing them every year is hard. So I think sometimes she just wants to blend in.

On the bullying note: The school jumped right on it and is trying to keep on top of it. They have a no bullying policy and teasing someone because of how they dress or what they eat fits in they say. They are also realizing she is a quiet child ( even though friendly and talkative) So they are teaching her to stand up for herself. She sill be okay in the long run I'm sure.

**imagine** · 01-13-2011, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by Michelle

Anyway, I've had the best luck with jeans for both of them at Old Navy and Target. Have you tried either of those places?

We have limited shopping

Thrift store, Walmart, small jc penney, and the farm and ranch store.

We have a old Navy and a target in the big town. We we will have to try and make it over there when the winter weather clears.

**imagine** · 01-14-2011, 01:36 AM

The jeans fit but she didn't feel comfortable enough to wear the altered jeans to school. She was afraid of hurting my feelings so she said she didn't want to wear any jeans to school that she didn't like jeans. Me saying okay you don't have to wear them or any. Lead to an emotional discussion in which she changed her mind several times on if she wanted jeans or not.

Boy that girl is emotionally exhausting. I think she too find this whole process emotionally exhausting.

I'll keep looking and trying and hopefully she will make up her mind on what she wants to wear.

**erinalexmom** · 01-14-2011, 06:55 AM

I am soooo sorry that she is being made fun of. Its a terrible feeling that I experienced alot as a young girl. There is a book I read once and the woman was talking about her newborn son and how much she loved him and wanted to protect him and said that it upset her because she knew no matter what she did to protect him she still had to send him to 7th grade one day. (meaning of all the things she had to protect him from jr high was her biggest fear) I know that feeling and although my daughter is only 5 I still worry eveyday that I drop her at the school door. (although thankfully she loves her school so far *fingers crossed* )