Making those tough choices

**Tess B** · 01-20-2011, 01:05 PM

My baby girl's BD is fast approaching, she'll be 28. (eek, dear GOD how did that happen??). she's fighting the same financial battles as i am (and the rest of the planet) and our gift exchanges at christmas have become much more based on meeting needs rather than wants. i asked what she might like for her BD and she was so cute, she said, oh i GET stuff? well of course, it's your BD. and she said oh probably oil changes and petco cards. but then she mentioned that there is a short run of the ballet Cinderella put on the Pacific NW Ballet.

we've attended many ballets, theatre, operas together and it's like the perfect girl's day getaway. and all the reviews and photos of the ballet indicate it is pretty magnificent, i would LOVE for us to go!!! however, the price for the good seats are just too much ($88 a piece). there are less expensive seats available and by less i mean $41 each, in the front row of the second tier balcony. part of the whole spectacle is to be able to really SEE what's going on and seats that far back are really removed that element. (we both took dance when she was younger and performed in many a recital on various stages including the 5th Ave downtown).

so bottom line, i just can't afford it at this time. which kinda sux. but i can certainly provide her with "gifts" that will lessen HER financial burden just a bit. oh sure ballet is an emotional experience, uplifting, enthralling and a good for the soul, which should never be discounted, but it's either $200 when all is said and done for a 3 hour cultural event, OR something less than half of that for the more immediate needs car and pet care!

in any other realm i have no problem making this choice, it's just tougher when it's my kid, even tho she's a grown up and all that. sigh. i guess we'll skip the "mesmerizing theatrical spectacle" as the Seattle Times put it.

**frugal is fun** · 01-20-2011, 01:10 PM

I know this may take the "gift" out of the gift but can you each pay your own way? that way you're each only paying half and yet still experiencing something you both love?

**Shelli_wnj** · 01-20-2011, 01:19 PM

One year I really had wanted to go see CATS, as it was the final year, however we didn't have the money for it. My husband bought the dvd of it, and he actually sat and watched it with me (a big sacrifice for him) at a friends house who had a big screen tv. I know it's not the same as being there, but maybe is there a dvd of this cinderella ballet (or maybe another favorite ballet) that you could give her as a "it's a thought that counts" gesture, along with the oil change? Just a thought.

**Tess B** · 01-20-2011, 02:38 PM

thanks for the suggestions. i just sucked it up and sent her an email (we converse via email most week days) - actually a reply to HER email where she bragged a bit about another shopping/coupon success at Rite Aid, where she spnet $12 and SAVED $23! - and told her that i just can't afford it RIGHT NOW but can we reserve for a future date to the ballet when the other half of my household isn't on layoff???? fudgesicles.....

one of her other fave ballets is the Red Shoes and i can't for the life of me remember if i ever got her the remastered dvd for that or not. darn faulty memory chip!!

**lisa0069** · 01-20-2011, 03:16 PM

How about you do something together like go get a pedicure or something along those lines.

I don't get to spend much time with my mom so something just the 2 of use would be great

**Tess B** · 01-20-2011, 03:21 PM

well get this....she replied and said that's ok mom, what about us going to the Harry Potter Exhibit at the Pacific Science Center and we can grab lunch at Uptown China beforehand???

now i'm not a HP fan but i hear that the exhibit is pretty incredible plus you get admission to the rest of the Pacific Science Center as well ($19 each - there's a $4 fee if you buy them online but $0 fee at the box office and as I work within a mile or so of the Center I can just trot my happy self on over save $8). i'm totally down for that! We always go to Uptown China before any event at Seattle Center so it's like a tradition. I'm really glad I didn't let self-induced guilt take over!

**shoiji** · 01-20-2011, 07:33 PM

The news just had something about this. They said to type free tickets and your city and it should come up with different events that you can get free or low cost tickets. You never know what you might come up with and maybe something will be appropriate for your daughter.

**Ponderer** · 01-21-2011, 12:01 AM

Tess....I just wanted to give a shout out from a neighbor here in Olympia.

I have no doubt that whatever the day brings...the birthday girl is just going to be glad she gets to spend it with you. :-)