My sitter flaked ~ now what?

**Jamauk** · 02-07-2011, 09:14 PM

A few years ago we found the most amazing babysitter. Then she off and went to college, then she got married and moved to Germany!!! The nerve of some people!! LOL

Anyway, we've been on a desperate search for a great baby sitter ever since. I thought we finally found one and I was all set to use her for the first time tonight while I was at a meeting at the school board.

Weeellll, I went to pick her up and no one was home at her house. I got home and there were no calls or messages from her and when I called her house there was no answer.

Normally, I would say well I guess we're not using her but we found her because her dad is a friend of my husband's. I don't want this to get awkward. I left her a message and asked her to call me. I hope everything is ok with her and nothing happened, but I have to say I'm a little miffed......

Grrrrr, ok. Thanks for letting me vent.

**Ramona** · 02-07-2011, 09:28 PM

Friend or not, this is not a good beginning. Wonder what her excuse will be?

**Jamauk** · 02-07-2011, 09:36 PM

Weeellll, when I called her house phone and no one answered I asked her to call me because I wanted to make sure everything was ok.

She called (from her cell, not her house) 20 minutes later saying she thought she was supposed to sit for me tonight? I told her I'd been at her house and knocked three times, but the house looked really dark and it looked like no one was there. She said "REally, oh my gosh, I guess I ddin't hear you. I'm so sorry" She kept apologizing and saying she felt really bad, BUT if you were waiting for someone (a potential "employer") to pick you up, wouldn't you be sitting close enough to the door to hear someone knock AND then if you noticed this employer to be late and you heard the home phone ring, wouldn't you have answered it????? (knowing I've only ever called their house, not her cell)

**Ceashels** · 02-07-2011, 09:48 PM

yeah... i'd keep looking for a sitter.

She doesn't sound reliable and seems as though she is trying to cover her tracks - definitely not someone I would want to have "in charge" of my home or children.

**mauimagic** · 02-08-2011, 12:35 AM

Ceashels hit it right on the nose. I'm sure she is sorry - but am not sure about what - she is a teenager and may need a little more maturity before she takes on sitteer jobs.

Good luck in your search for a new sitter!!

**Jamauk** · 02-08-2011, 01:21 AM

Her mom called tonight. The daughter had fallen asleep. The mom usually drives her to her sitter jobs and her mom said 'I'm heading out, come upstairs and be on the lookout for a car in the driveway." Well, the girl didn't come upstairs and ended up falling asleep and didnt' hear me knock (nor did she hear the phone when I called.)
The mother was so upset & so angry at the daughter that she had her in hysterics and then the mom started crying on the phone with me. I think she was embarassed for her daughter & so upset she just got emotional.
I felt bad for both of them. The mom thinks the daughter should sit a night for us for free, if we'd agree to have her. I told her that wouldn't be necessary and that I know a family that this girl sits for and that she has great references and we've all been 16 before and had to learn hard lessons.
I told the mom I'm willing to give her another shot and that really, the meeting I missed tonight really wasn't a huge deal. The whole experience was just very surreal.

**frugalfranny** · 02-08-2011, 02:12 AM

I might be too skeptical.........but SOMETHING just doesn't 'sound right' here..........in all that you said.

If a teen really wants the money...........they are there.......

I think I would discuss the incident WITH HER.........and watch her body language carefully to see what it will tell you about what happened!!

I hope it works out............but please take care.

**2ndGenGranola** · 02-08-2011, 06:33 AM

I have been begging DH for a new doorbell ever since we have lived here. If you are not sitting right on it, you will not hear it. If you are upstairs, forget it. So, I could completely understand someone not hearing.

For a teen, I would say calling within 20 minutes is pretty good.

**Ramona** · 02-08-2011, 04:29 PM

I definitely wouldn't want a sitter who could fall asleep, how would she hear an emergency situation?

Why is she falling asleep in the early evening? When I was a teenager, I could stay up all night (and did).

**Cricketlegs** · 02-08-2011, 05:07 PM

In the girls defense she did fall asleep at home where you feel comfortable about falling asleep. I am sure that had she been babysitting her mindset would be different and she would not have fallen asleep.

I tend to lazy around on the couch reading my kindle and will often just drop off but I don't do that at someone else's house..not the couch slouch or the nappytime lol!

I am sure she will be minding her p and q's from here on out even more so than if it had not happened just to rewin your trust.

**Josephhgoins** · 02-08-2011, 05:42 PM

Sounds to me that the girl wanted a night off and the Mom wanted her to work.

Parents may be taking her money for some reason or the other and the girl just didn't feel like doing it.

Been there and done that.

**AmyBoz** · 02-08-2011, 05:59 PM

Maybe give her another shot on a small job. Like, not going out for the whole night, but just for a little bit. Then, it's kind of like a trial, and see if she shows up on time and does a good job. If you like what you see, then you can progress to bigger jobs.

**Jamauk** · 02-08-2011, 06:44 PM

I'm heading to a friend's debut Sensaria party on Saturday. I was just planning on bringing the boys with me, but I think I may call her and see if she wants to come over for a few hours. That way, she can see I'm willing to give har anothe chance (quickly) and it's also the middle of the day for just a short time.

I remember when I was in college, I was hired to watch my advisor's children after school every Tues & Thurs afternoons. One Thursday I simply forgot. I had been doing this job for months and one day, it completely slipped my mind. My advisor didn't even know until she was called at her office by her son. She immediately called me and I felt absolutely awful (ironically, I was in my dorm SLEEPING!). She told me it wasn't a big deal, she docked my pay that week for the day I missed and we went on as normal the next week.
Sometimes things happen ~ I was lucky it wasn't a first impression and that my advisor knew I was responsible and had just made a mistake. This is why I'm willing to give her another chance. I'm also going to share this story with her the next time I talk to her because it sounds like her parents really put her through the ringer.
I want her to know that what happened was not ok, but that it wasn't the end of the world and I'm willing to chalk it up to an OOPS.

**Momto5RN** · 02-08-2011, 08:21 PM

everyone makes mistakes
my daughters best friend needs alot of extra sleep - sit her still after school she crashes , my daughter is an energizer bunny .

Using empathy for another - which i am always trying to instill in my kids because it seems to be missing too much in society any more = i would give her another chance.

Good for you for giving it another try

**Izzabello** · 02-09-2011, 11:32 AM

I think you're doing the right thing giving her another chance! I was a very forgetful kid and always needed reminders and second chances. Sounds like she will be a good sitter for you in the future based on the reference and her parents sound like they will push her to stay with you and do the right thing. Good luck!