answers to GED test

[RaineyDaye]

These are funny... although some of them have to be made up. (I don't think they represent the typical American 16 year old, either.)

> The following questions were in last year's GED examination
> These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...
>
> Q. Name the four seasons.
> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
>
> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
> A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
>
> Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
> A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends
> to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
> nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
>
> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
>
> Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
>
> Q. What are steroids?
> A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
>
> Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
> A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
>
> Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
>
> Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
> A. Premature death
>
> Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
> A. Keep it in the cow

>
> Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
> A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
> abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
> the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels:
> A, E, I, O, and U..
>
>
> Q. What is the fibula?
> A. A small lie
>
> Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
> A. Nearby
>
> Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
> A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

>
> Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
> A. The caesarean section is a district in Downtown Rome
>
> Q. What is a seizure?
> A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
>
> Q. What is a terminal illness?
> A. When you are sick at the airport.
>
> Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> umbrellas
>
> Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
> A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

>
> Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
> A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
>
> Q. What is a turbine?
> A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
>
>

[Nishu]

I don't mean to be rude, I know this is meant to be funny, but *I* took the GED test and I promise you that every single one of those is made up.

[2ndGenGranola]

I don't mean to be rude, I know this is meant to be funny, but *I* took the GED test and I promise you that every single one of those is made up.

I've taught teenagers and have to believe these to be true based upon the way they answer when they do not know something.

[Nishu]

GED tests are multiple choice. If these questions were true based on the way teenagers answer when they don't know, the answers would like like A instead of C or D instead of B.

You really think that "What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?" might be a real GED question?

Or "What is a seizure?"

What is a seizure, btw? How many people can answer that to any degree of accuracy? It's a medical term describing a complicated neurological phenomenon that we don't even fully understand, and you think they're going to put that on a multiple choice GED test?

How about "Explain what causes the tides in the oceans?" Why the nonessential phrase "in the oceans?" Are there some other tides somewhere that have a different explanation?

How do you keep milk from going sour?? What school system or GED test would ask this?

[ohio47]

I also took the GED test, and passed it, and there were no questions like that on it. I even worked as a teacher's aide with a program to help people prepare for the GED test and I graded all the practice tests they took . The answers were all multiple choice. Of course that was from 1984-1994. Maybe the tests have changed since then.

[thesightofoneself]

i give props to ppl who take the ged test
i know a lot of ppl who have taken it and a few that failed