These are funny... although some of them have to be made up. (I don't think they represent the typical American 16 year old, either.)
> The following questions were in last year's GED examination
> These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...
>
> Q. Name the four seasons.
> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
>
> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
> A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
>
> Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
> A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends
> to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
> nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
>
> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
>
> Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
>
> Q. What are steroids?
> A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
>
> Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
> A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
>
> Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
>
> Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
> A. Premature death
>
> Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
> A. Keep it in the cow
>
> Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
> A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
> abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
> the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels:
> A, E, I, O, and U..
>
>
> Q. What is the fibula?
> A. A small lie
>
> Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
> A. Nearby
>
> Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
> A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
>
> Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
> A. The caesarean section is a district in Downtown Rome
>
> Q. What is a seizure?
> A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
>
> Q. What is a terminal illness?
> A. When you are sick at the airport.
>
> Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> umbrellas
>
> Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
> A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
>
> Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
> A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
>
> Q. What is a turbine?
> A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
>
>
> The following questions were in last year's GED examination
> These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...
>
> Q. Name the four seasons.
> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
>
> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
> A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
>
> Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
> A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends
> to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
> nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
>
> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
>
> Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
>
> Q. What are steroids?
> A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
>
> Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
> A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
>
> Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
>
> Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
> A. Premature death
>
> Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
> A. Keep it in the cow
>
> Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
> A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
> abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
> the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels:
> A, E, I, O, and U..
>
>
> Q. What is the fibula?
> A. A small lie
>
> Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
> A. Nearby
>
> Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
> A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
>
> Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
> A. The caesarean section is a district in Downtown Rome
>
> Q. What is a seizure?
> A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
>
> Q. What is a terminal illness?
> A. When you are sick at the airport.
>
> Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> umbrellas
>
> Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
> A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
>
> Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
> A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
>
> Q. What is a turbine?
> A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
>
>