We've just been through a nightmare...

**forHISglory** · 03-14-2011, 05:56 PM

Hi
I feel like a stranger after being gone for so long. We have been living a nightmare, but praise be! It's getting better.

My dad is mid 80s, and has been in uncontrollable pain. He finally went to a doctor who said he needed a knee replacement. However the knee surgeon said that Dad's age and health were not favorable to the surgery, and sent him back to doctor. The doctor gave him cortizone shots, which helped the pain in the knee a little, but did nothing for the pain that flooded him from neck to ankles. He went back again to doctor, who then prescribed a muscle relaxant and a pain killer.

The next morning after taking the pain killer, Dad started having hallucinations. As the day went on, he had more. The next day, they continued. We called the doctor, who said to stop giving him the meds, and she prescribed a different pain killer. The hallucinations continued to a point where we took him back to the doctor's office and he was admitted to the hospital. The hallucinations continued there. We kept a family member in the room with him day and night, as the hospital was short staffed and we feared he would would leave his room, following some delusion, and get hurt.

They changed his med again, and sent him home. By home, I mean my house. I was not comfortable with the idea of him going home, and in addition, my mother is experiencing confusion, so she would be of no help. So hubby and I watched him night and day, pulled furniture across the stair opening so he wouldn't fall down.

Finally everything came to a head a week ago. Dad ate supper, and then the delusions set in again. This time they were nonstop and he was becoming agitated and a little violent, swinging his cane. I called my sisters, and we all agreed that we needed to get him to the emergency room. With the help of brothers in law, we got him into the car, seated in the middle of the back seat so that he couldn't reach the door handles and open the doors while on the road. When we reached the ER, he was totally whacked out. He got mean, told us he was committing suiicide as soon as he could, that he was cutting us out of the will... You would not believe what he said.

Understand. Dad is educated, articulate, intellectual, spiritual, and has a fantastic sense of humor. But none of that was evident. In the space of an hour, my father had changed personality. I mourned that I never had a chance to say goodby to the Dad I knew and loved. His body was still there, but it was not my dad. It seemed as if an alien had taken over.

The ER doctor diagnosed him as over medicated and dehydrated. In the space of 7 days, he had been prescribed 5 new meds. The first pain killer was the one that tripped everything else. And his body was not excreting it because he was not drinking or eating. He lost 29 pounds in a 2 week period, but didn't lose the chemicals in the meds. They started an IV, and send him home (to my house) hours later. The hallucinations still were there, but we could see that they were becoming less intense.

I have good news. Dad has not had a hallucination for about 3 days, and his personality is almost back to normal. This is due to the meds finally passing through his body. Yesterday at our family birthday party, he pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket and began to read it to us. It was an apology for anything that he said or did that might have hurt us. He began to cry and said that never did he want to hurt us.

He said that during this entire time, he was so frightened, not knowing what was wrong but knowing that something was very wrong. Yet he had no control over it. We all had a good cry and assured him that we knew it was not him talking during that time, but rather the meds talking. He has no memory at all of much of the last two weeks, which is probably a good thing. He is still weak and in pain, but I think I have my Dad back.

I am exhausted. Dad and Mom are in the own home again, and we think the nightmare has ended.

**Daisygirl** · 03-14-2011, 06:09 PM

I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. When my dad was near the end of his illness he suffered from a severe bout of depression that changed his personality in similar ways to what you described. It was so devastating. I hope and pray that his issues do not return. I'm glad you are back.

**larabelle** · 03-14-2011, 06:09 PM

WOW you have been thru the ringer!!! Praise the Lord that all ended well!!!

QM · 03-14-2011, 06:12 PM

I can't imagine what you've gone through, FHG. I wish I could hug you right now. I understand the pain of having a loved one (for me it was my Grandpa) start losing his mind. I'm thankful that for your father it was due to a mess up of medications and you got him back to rather good health. For me, my Grandpa is in a nursing home now with severe alzheimers. Whatever the case and whoever the loved one is, it hurts. It really hurts to see someone you cherish fade before your eyes.

Before my Grandpa and Grandma got really sick (demensia and alzheimers) they said and did things that they wouldn't had they not been sick. It must be awful to lose the independence you once had, be in pain and know that there is no turning back the clock. Both of them were/are born again Christians, and they never would have hurt family or friends if they were in good health and sound mind.

I'll keep your family in my prayers and thoughts. Remember who is holding your dad's hand. And remember who is holding yours.

**Nishu** · 03-14-2011, 06:15 PM

I absolutely would believe what he said, because my stepdad did just about the same thing as he was passing away. I'm so glad to hear that your dad is doing better. I hope they find something that works for his pain and that he's able to find some relief.

**AmyBoz** · 03-14-2011, 06:28 PM

What a sad, scary situation for you all! I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but so glad you've all come out on the other side.

**Ramona** · 03-14-2011, 06:44 PM

I'm so glad that your wonderful Dad is back to normal. I would have been frightened out of my mind. It's so touching that he wrote a note to help him apologize, that touches my heart.

Just an aside, if medication is not the reason for strange behavior in elders, it may well be a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). They may not have the discomfort/pain that others have and unruly or strange behavior may be the first signs that they have a UTI.

**larabelle** · 03-14-2011, 06:55 PM

Giant Hug for you and your family!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Imarachne** · 03-14-2011, 07:37 PM

My gosh--I'm sooo sorry that you and your Dad have been through this .

**daylily** · 03-14-2011, 07:57 PM

What a horrible experience for you folks and your dad. I'm glad it turned out well. Some of those medicines create more problems than they fix!

**cab54** · 03-14-2011, 07:58 PM

Whew. I'm glad he's getting better. Sounds like a terrible time you all had.

**fernykins** · 03-14-2011, 08:01 PM

sorry for what you have went through. my dad complained about losing weight and all his dr said was eat more food. when he was put into the hospital he was DX with lung cancer and died the next day. i lived to far away to help.
I'm so glad hes doing better
Fern

**heartofmine** · 03-14-2011, 08:17 PM

I'm so sorry. Sadly I understand as we went through 2 1/2 years of stuff like this with my fil who had Parkinson's and dementia. Its awful seeing their personality change so drastically. Hugs and prayers.

**frugalfriend** · 03-14-2011, 08:17 PM

Oh, I am so sorry you have been through such an ordeal! And relieved to hear that things are better now. It is so hard when our parents age and all that goes with that, and to see them in pain is unbearable. Will keep your family in my prayers and know that we are here for you. So glad to see you back, I missed you!