At a loss to help a friend

[shoiji]

I just found out that a friends father committed suicide. I am at a complete loss on how to console her. She has not spoken to her father in a while. I told her to call me if she needs anything.

Any suggestions on what I can say or do?

Know you guys can help me on this.

[Russ]

I found this...

How Can I Help My Friend?
Showing a willingness to listen is probably the most important thing you can do for a friend who is a survivor of suicide. It may be distressing at first, but you’re not expected to provide answers. Instead, you can be a comforting, safe place for someone who desperately needs to talk.

What you can do:

Listen with non-judgmental compassion
Understand that your friend will need time to deal with their loss
Avoid clichés
Talk about the person who has died
Offer practical assistance such as shopping, cooking, driving
Find and offer information on resources, support groups, etc.
Be aware of difficult times, like anniversaries and holidays

Found here> http://www.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=3-101-103

[Contrary Housewife]

My father died a few months ago. We were not close, and in fact had been on pretty bad terms my entire adult life.

A friend of mine said to me that just because we did not have a close relationship it did not mean I could not grieve for the loss of what might have been and could now never be repaired.

A few kind words of acknowledgement from friends have meant a lot, even though I have not encouraged discussion about it. Simply saying you care can mean more than efforts to try and console her by visiting or taking her out, or trying to talk with her about her father, etc.

She will open up when she is ready.