Do you drop in on friends unexpectedly?

**Contrary Housewife** · 04-11-2011, 10:34 PM

I was just thinking about this. When I was younger and single I used to visit with friends all the time without calling ahead. If I was in the area, I'd just drop in. My best girlfriend and I used to drive around a lot (when gas was under $1 a gallon!) and see friends on the spur of the moment. Heck, sometimes we'd go for the whole weekend unannounced.

And you know what, it never seemed to bother anyone. Doors were open, people smiled, we had fun doing spontaneous things.

These days it seems I need to schedule visits with friends. They're unhappy if I just drop by to say hi because I was in the area. Nobody drops in to see me at home, because they think they should call and arrange a visit ahead of time.

Am I just weird, or have people changed? Does this happen to people as they get older? I miss the spontaneity of friendship.

**mndtrp** · 04-11-2011, 10:44 PM

No, but I'm too lazy to drive across town in the hopes that they are there. My neighbors, on the other hand, I'll stop by their house unannounced all the time. As you get older, you tend to get busier.

**Palooka** · 04-11-2011, 10:54 PM

I did the same thing when I was younger, but now nobody better drop by without calling first.

For me it's an age thing and I think I'm just more selfish with my time now.

Dh grew up in a small town and he hates living here in the city. He says everyone just drops by in his home town and is way more friendlier and it's way harder to plan anything with city folk.

**Pemberleyan** · 04-11-2011, 11:37 PM

No, never, and I do think it's partly getting older. Both of my main friends live over 20 miles from me, but even if they didn't, I wouldn't drop by.

**frugal.lass** · 04-12-2011, 01:25 AM

When I was younger (ha! okay, I'm only 30...I should say when I was off living at university), we dropped in on friends all the time without calling first. If the person was out or busy, we just went on our merry little way. Now that my friends have kids and are much more spread out, a little more planning is necessary in order to not stress anybody out or to save the gas of a drive across town. I wouldn't say that it's bad...just different due to different living situations.

I do kinda miss having my doorbell ring and wondering who it was (as opposed to wondering what salesperson is trying to convince me to have me redo my roof with their company) but its just the way things are for my friends and I now, I guess.

**wanderlusting** · 04-12-2011, 04:34 AM

Nope. If I do need to stop by unexpectedly like to drop something off, I just drop it off to them- I don't expect to be invited in. I especially don't like drop-ins since a knock on the door causes my dog to bark and could wake up my twins from their nap.

I dunno- if I did drop- in, I wouldn't know what's going on. If they're trying to relax, about to go somewhere or they just want to spend quality family time alone.

**Droppedonmyhead** · 04-12-2011, 05:11 AM

I never just drop in on people. I always call ahead and see if it's convenient. I think it's an age thing too. When you're young, you don't necessarily think about inconveniencing someone. But when you're older, you know better. People may have plans, be in the middle of something, etc. Plus with the cost of gas right now, it seems a bit wasteful.

**The Muse** · 04-12-2011, 06:03 AM

No. I think it's poor manners to drop in unannounced and expect to be welcome.

**Ashley01** · 04-12-2011, 07:15 AM

Everyone call/texts before they stop in around here some afternoons I have 4 toddlers sleeping, someone knocking on the door would make the dog bark and wake them all up and let me tell you I would not be impressed in the least bit!!

**frugalwarrior2** · 04-12-2011, 07:57 AM

NO. I wouldn't want them to do it to me. Kind of a single or unmarried thing to me. Time has passed on that.

**Sophia** · 04-12-2011, 08:16 AM

growing up that is how things were done. We use to have people stop by all the time and they didn't have to call and make an appointment. I like for people to stop by , my door is always open. Does it happen a lot? no. I think people shouldn't have to call to visit. They just do now. That is what life has become all about a phone LOL

Yes I do call before stopping by to visit folks unless it is my parents or in-laws

TC

**Luckybustert** · 04-12-2011, 10:14 AM

I also think it's poor manners to just drop in on people. They may have other plans, be expecting other guests they've invited over, may be in the middle of cleaning the house (or need to), or they may just want to relax or rest in the comfort of their own home. Same thing for if they were to drop in on me. I'd really appreciate it if people would call first.

**TigerGirl1226** · 04-12-2011, 10:24 AM

No, never. Just not my style.

**imagine** · 04-12-2011, 10:40 AM

My house has an open door policy. Always welcome any time.

My friends and i use to drop in all the time. Even with kids.

Now we do not and I miss it.

Loved it the time my MIL ( out of state) was driving through town with her father and they called and invited us out to lunch. Hubby insisted that they drop by and see the house first. (his grandfather had never seen he new house) it was a grand spur of the moment thing. Loved it. The children rarely get drop by friends I remember that happening all the time when I was a child. Now all kids/teens need you to schedule a time with their parents.

I truly miss the drop bys for visits from family and friends. I also miss the I'm going for a walk want to come or I'm going to XXX want to come.

My MIL is retiring this year so we might get more drop ins.

although hubby did say he should call her and let her know the children will be gone what weeks so she wouldn't be disappointed if they were not here.

**jas** · 04-12-2011, 10:50 AM

Lets just put it this way, today would not be a great day to knock on my door and want to visit. My dd wanted to switch rooms so we have the contents of the two rooms filling the livingroom, dining room and the two rooms in transition. It really looks like a bomb went off here.

The room she is switching to was our storage/food pantry room so you can imagine all that goes into moving that!

For some reason she wanted the smaller room, I guess it felt cozier to her. Well now we have a bigger room for more food storage ect. (we don't have basements here in Florida and the garage and attics are too hot for most things.

Other than right now I would be okay with a drop in visiter most of the time. I am home alone most of the time during the weekdays, don't get dressed to the shoes (Flylady style) so I might scare the pants off my guest. And them ringing the bell would do the same to me. Just for the fact I am not usually expecting the door to ring out of the blue.