Lost my cool today. . . .

**Droppedonmyhead** · 04-24-2011, 01:41 AM

with my oldest grandson. Today made the 5th. . .count it. . .5th time he has destroyed my earplugs that I use on my computer for listening to music. These earplugs costs $10 to replace. On every one of the 5 earplugs, he has torn off the bud that goes into my ears. Sometimes it's one bud. . .sometimes both of them. I have spent $50 to buy replacements in the past 8 months. He is 11 years old and knows better. Well, today I discovered that he had done it again and I just went beserk. I yelled at him and was so mad I couldn't shut up and stop. It ended up with me leaving the room slamming the door behind me. I know that in the grand scheme of things, the earplugs are nothing of great concerern. But he NEVER gives a reason why he destroys them. He just does it. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back today.

**mauimagic** · 04-24-2011, 02:04 AM

So sorry that happened again and again and again - lack of respect on his part or what? He wouldn't be using my earplugs or computer again. What did he say after this incident/what do his parents say? Is he normally disrepectful? Please do not beat up on yourself too much.

**Droppedonmyhead** · 04-24-2011, 07:46 AM

I've grounded him from the computer. They don't have a computer at his home, so he's always on mine when he's here. So it will about kill him today when he comes over. He typically is a respectful kid, but he has a "thing" about earplugs for some reason. He has no explanation as to why he does it. He says he doesn't know why he did it. I've even bought him his own earplugs. Tore them up too.

**Spirit Deer** · 04-24-2011, 08:10 AM

The logical consequence for this behavior is what you're doing, not allowing him to use the computer.

Does he get an allowance or any other money? Then he should pay to replace what he's ruined.

If he does not have money, then he needs to be doing some unpleasant chores to work it off.

**jas** · 04-24-2011, 08:25 AM

Have him work off the cost of the 5 earplugs.

**Darlene** · 04-24-2011, 08:37 AM

11 years old is enough to know better & I'd have him replacing at least one pair.
Yours are forever off limits but next b'day or Christmas I'd buy him his own pair and I'm guessing he'd take better care after all this. If not, oh well he ruined his own gift and fun computer time is a thing of the past.
Choices, young grasshopper, have consequences.

**IndigoMom** · 04-24-2011, 09:10 AM

I say let him work it off. All 5 pair. If you have a dollar store near you, I'd check to pick up any you want to purchase for him from there. I'd never let him touch mine again. 11 is plenty old enough to know better. Of course, so is 16,and 17(the age of the "kids" here), and they're not allowed to touch mine either!

**Imarachne** · 04-24-2011, 09:24 AM

Maybe he's hungry for attention--any kind.

**zakity** · 04-24-2011, 11:21 AM

Yeah, at 11, they are old enough to know better. Losing it on him wasn't a bad thing if that was the 5th time he had done it (6th if you include his that he destroyed). And, I think that the grounding from the computer thing is quite appropriate (for my guys, it would be quite a while before they got to touch my stuff again). And, I agree that he should buy you new ones. I also like the idea of him working off the money for the other pairs. Your next set of ear plugs needs to go away when he comes over, even if he doesn't use your computer.

**FrabjousDay** · 04-24-2011, 11:27 AM

I would...

Prohibit computer time until he pays or works off his "debt".

Find a new home for the ear buds. He can bring his own set if he needs them.

Apologize for the adult temper tantrum.

**Momto5RN** · 04-24-2011, 11:36 AM

just a thought but they make earbuds in different sizes- maybe the ones you have with the ends it has doesnt fit in his ears and or is painful for him to wear- not that it excuses him taking it off like that so many times over but they do make brands where they have several size buds you can interchange - maybe he thought they could be put back on after he took them off .

myself my 14yo and my 10 yo all have to wear a smaller childs size ear buds or it doesnt fit and does hurt trying to wear the regular size ones .

playing devils advocate but if you said he has to use the earbuds or cant use the computer and it hurt to wear them otherwise - he may have felt stuck as to what to do if they didnt fit him properly . although it seems talking to him once should have cleared up the issue - but TBH i had no idea they came in diff styles until 6 months ago when i mentioned they wouldnt stay in right to a friend online .

just a tip if you live near a CVS at least 2 x a year they have earplugs that are normally 9.99 on sale for say 5.99 and then you get the 5.99 back in extra care bucks so in the end no money out of pocket. whenever i see that deal i pick one up to hide away for when someone needs a pair for a day trip or for easter basket or christmas stocking . 17 yo got a pair in his easter basket today .

i buy them in color when i have to pay for them the 5 and below store has several sizes brands and colors for 5$- ie mine are white and pink so i know they are mine.

**Nishu** · 04-24-2011, 12:40 PM

Is he just picking them apart for the heck of it? Or are they just falling apart as he's using them?

My ears seem to be kinda small in comparison to other peoples'. This makes them exceptionally cute, imo, but on the downside regular earbuds are very uncomfortable for me. Maybe he just has cute ear canals, too.

**flashyMcGee** · 04-24-2011, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by Nishu

Is he just picking them apart for the heck of it? Or are they just falling apart as he's using them?

My ears seem to be kinda small in comparison to other peoples'. This makes them exceptionally cute, imo, but on the downside regular earbuds are very uncomfortable for me. Maybe he just has cute ear canals, too.

I have this same problem. My ipod's don't fit very well. Perhaps he should save up to replace your cost and then an mp3 player or an ipod.
Just breathe...enjoy the rest of your weekend!

**mndtrp** · 04-24-2011, 05:48 PM

You would think, if it was simply because they didn't fit in his ears, he would give that as a reason. Not providing a reason for destroying your property multiple times leads me to believe he's not doing it for any practical reason.

I would keep any future headphones in a safe location, and have him work off at least the new replacement pair.