Having to make a budget for my daughter.

**Spirit Deer** · 04-26-2011, 06:35 PM

Step 1: Get your name off her truck loan. It's her responsibility. And why does she need a truck instead of a cheap car anyway? Does she need a car at all? Would a bicycle or a bus pass get her where she NEEDS to go?

Step 2: Stop bailing her out. If she owes someone a bill, why are you paying it? That makes no sense.

She's going to continue acting like a child as long as she's treated like one. If she wants to be treated like an adult, she has to act like one, and accept the consequences of her actions when she makes the wrong financial choices.

If she wants you out of her financial life, then oblige her. She'll find out quick enough everything you've told her about money is true and that dealing with the Bank of Momndad was a lot more pleasant than dealing with creditors. Sounds like she needs to be taught a lesson before she's out on her own.

**JanieD** · 04-27-2011, 02:14 PM

I agree with SELLING "her" truck. If she doesn't want to make the payments, she doesn't need the truck. Maybe its time for her to consider if she'd prefer driving a beater INSTEAD of making truck payments.

She's definitely not ready to handle everything (bills, lots of bills) that comes w/moving out. Hope you're able to get through to her.

**krbshappy71** · 04-27-2011, 02:52 PM

I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

If there is any way to get out from under that truck responsibility, I would. I'm guessing you'd have done so by now if you could, though.

Love & Logic parenting has some great lines for handing back responsibility to the person who owns the problem. I know she's grown but she's not quite there yet as an adult so some of the lines can still be useful, heck I use them on adults at work all the time.

Here is their main site: Love and Logic - Helping Parents and Teachers Raise Responsible Kids

On there are many articles, they have a newsletter, and they also have a teen-specific book that you may be able to find at the library.

Personally I think you and your husband are taking on too much of her situation. My suggestion is to let go of as much of her situation as you can and buy yourselves some sanity back. Hugs to you both.

**Spirit Deer** · 04-27-2011, 04:29 PM

If your name is on that truck title in addition to being on the loan, then make up a written contract with her spelling out in no uncertain terms what she has to do to keep the truck. The first time she doesn't pay that truck payment and you have to step in and do it, that truck should be GONE. If your name is on the title, that shouldn't be a problem.

**oheoh's momma** · 05-02-2011, 09:12 PM

Hon the truck is her responsibility hide it let them think it it is repoed. she has plenty of money to play with but not enough for bills. I told my 23 year old so many years when he was going on vacation that he could not afford i wouldn't bail him. i told " oh there is that special rule when you go on vacation no bills come due you're excused" everything got cut off he come home and I made him pay bills he grew up