Half of Americans don't have $2k for a rainy day.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 12-31-2011, 10:33 PM

Originally Posted by FrabjousDay

Interesting. I was just wondering if a few personal hard knocks had inspired a greater level of empathy for the situations of others, and/or a reduced level of judgment.

I empathize for people who cannot control the bad things that happen to them and as such, these bad things lowered their ability to control the things that they are able to control. What I do not empathize with are the people who cannot bring themselves to control themselves financially and as such, end up in situations to where they cannot do things like saving $2,000. This would be people who go out and spend mindlessly, eat out all of the time, etc.

**Momto5RN** · 12-31-2011, 10:45 PM

a. Do you have a car payment?

yes without it i wouldnt be working and i make the $ = my car payment a week and once its gone i will still have a vehicle suitable for my work that i have known since the start and i can be sure is safe and maintained right - and for the next follow up assumptive question -- no i cant take a bus or car pool to work i am a home care nurse - . cant have a car breaking down either because i bought a clunker - peoples actual lives depend on me .
( telling someone sorry i couldnt get to your moms house to give her insulin because my clunker broke down and she died/ ended up in hospital etc- just doesnt go over well KWIM )

b. Do you have cable?
yes - basic because its our only form of entertainment for 6 of us we dont go to sporting events or movies etc for 3 of us to go to a movie 1x around here would = our cable bill .

c. Do you have internet? yes its in the bundle and i have to have it for work because my car and my home IS my office - and we communicate by email and GASP i have a home phone for faxing when needed and a cell to ( double gasp ) because again i need it for my job and believe it or not the schools basically expect you to have it available for your children the way they expect you to have heat and running water so homework is often to go to a website etc .

d. Have you purchased fast food, alcohol, cigarettes, or other non-need items? fast food is a rareity - usually b-day or if my fibromyalgia has been bad and work has been crazy but its done for under 3$ a person which many here will spend on a home coked meal - we dont drink or smoke . i guess some might see my homeopathics/ vitamins as non needed items - without them i wouldnt be working and probably on meds that would cost more and have awful side effects

e. Have you purchased gifts?
yes but not 2000 worth and i do not believe that my children should do without a birthday or christmas gift because there mom has an illness that left her too sick to work for 7 years and now is paying off bills that ran up. instead i find ways to get gifts frugally

and i do have 1500 set aside between EF and other areas but all it would take is one issue and that could be gone until it could be built back up and thats because as per dave ramsey i have the EF while working on paying bills ( which brings the idea that many interviewed could be on the DR program and only on the BEF as far as what they have put away - )

yes there are people who are living a lifestyle way beyond their means and refuse to acknowledge it - but i dont think one would find that here . and i think condemning words like i am seeing would be more likely to scare others from coming here then invite them . ( which i thought was the purpose )

i have debt from being out of work for 7 years due to illness - i received nothing from gvt etc during that time. sold some on ebay for a few years - but nothing = to my RN income ,

last year i worked my butt off to pay it off faster and the gvt thanked me by making me try to find an extra 5000 to pay them more taxes . ( had to take out a loan and add to my debt.. yippeee NOT )

but i see in my work all the time people who have never lived beyond their means that are now ill or disabled and cant make ends meet - pay for medications etc .

so such assumptions break my heart to hear .

if you know it to be true to a certain person go ahead say it to their face - but dont make assumptions about those you dont know .

as i always say to think everyone has the same view out their back door and can or has to do the same as you may do is a sad way to be .

hmm to think i came here to take my mind off the fact 2012 will start out pretty sucky as my grandmother is dying and instead find the judgement game being played again - the thing i hate most about frugal boards .

Happy New Years all- i worked a long hard sad day today and dont even think i am staying up to midnight anymore -

**tracergal007** · 01-01-2012, 04:01 AM

Originally Posted by MomToTwoBoys

I empathize for people who cannot control the bad things that happen to them and as such, these bad things lowered their ability to control the things that they are able to control. What I do not empathize with are the people who cannot bring themselves to control themselves financially and as such, end up in situations to where they cannot do things like saving $2,000. This would be people who go out and spend mindlessly, eat out all of the time, etc.

I read somewhere you paid $50 shipping alone for an item for your child. I love my daughter too but to me, spending that much on shipping alone is a bit of a waste of money that could have been used for savings for the future.
Some of us are going to university full time, hubby is working full time after being out of work for over a year, and have a special needs though grown daughter living with us who's just starting university as well. Any spare money goes to bills or fixing up our rapidly deteriorating house. The comment about fast food was quite offensive and rather judgmental. Perhaps not assuming everyone is the same might be a good start.

**Shewillbemine** · 01-01-2012, 06:28 AM

Please don't think I'm personally attacking any of you, but I believe in tough love for these instances basically because I, my friends, my colleagues and my acquaintances run into individuals all day who talk about poor finances and yet their actions do not coincide with their lifestyles.

For example, someone who says they cannot save ANY money to eventually go up to $2000 on THIS forum. How much was your computer? Are you typing your responses at your work's internet or at Starbucks for free? Otherwise, you're spending money on internet access at home aren't you? How many careers actually require 24/7 internet access from home? I work from home and I still can't claim that I NEED to pay for internet. I can walk my butt to Starbucks during the day and not pay for my $49.99/month internet bill.

I didn't come from wealth and my family emigrated to the US as a single mother/single income family that barely spoke English. I would posit that someone who has been here for at least 1-2 generations has had a serious leg up and should theoretically have a better chance at financial success.

Even if it takes 3 years to save $2000 it should be possible. More tough love: kids are not an excuse to why one's family doesn't have an emergency fund. You should PLAN for kids in your finances before you have them. Not after the fact.

I will most certainly be villainized because it's easy to personalize what I'm saying but honestly...if you make a steady paycheck of any kind and you make mostly the right financial decisions, you have a chance to save money. Stuff happens, I agree. But many Americans make daily decisions that affect their bottom lines negatively.

Do your kids have toys? Do you have a pet? Do you seriously grow your food in your backyard? Did you buy Frosted Flakes as opposed to the generic brand? Do you use coupons? Does your teenager have a part time job? Do you use the heater as opposed to wearing sweaters and winter clothing? Have your purchased ANYTHING other than food in the last 3 years?

You can't possibly be so obstinate to pretend that EVERY SINGLE PENNY over the past 10 years has gone to need EVERY WAKING MOMENT. I call B.S.

I'm not saying I'm better--in fact I know I've come from far more poverty than most of you on this forum. And yet, people will still posit that they are using their money 100% good for everything. I will call B.S.

And to the other poster: not sure where you thought I'm worried about finances; I have worked hard to ensure my family and I do not. I ask prudent questions, seek advice and research as much as I can. But I DO have $2000 of emergency fund and am working on way more than that. Sure, I count my blessings and in plenty of ways, I'm lucky--but I've never pretended that my lack of $2000 is because I have used 100% of my money on all need. That would be lying.

**MaryinFL** · 01-01-2012, 06:31 AM

Wow, this thread is nothing like I thought it would be. I was shocked to read some of the comments.

I am one who "almost" has $2000 in savings, but I do have a small stock portfolio that I have built up over the years, which I probably should have cashed out before the market tanked. I just keep hoping it will come back before I retire.

Amazing how people at different income levels look at things. Because I am a single mom who is putting my son through college yet I am almost debt free, I find it amazing that someone who is single, or married couples who make two or three times what I do have almost overwhelmed themselves with debt.

While some assume that I, or those at my income level are wasteful with what little we earn, they are spending two or three times as much as we earn and have accumulated mountains of debt. What is wrong with that picture?

Yes, I have a car payment. Making $36K gross per year, how could I pay cash for a car? However, those who make $100K per year, ask yourself why you have so much debt, why you have a car payment, then try to imagine what it must be like to earn and live on a salary like mine without accumulating debt.

What amazes me most is that those who are the higher earners criticize those who are living on much less. Its very sad and disappointing.

**Shewillbemine** · 01-01-2012, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by Momto5RN

and i do have 1500 set aside between EF

Then you're doing fine. Not sure why you'd be offended considering you've got money set aside. Keep saving and you'll have more eventually.

**Shewillbemine** · 01-01-2012, 06:35 AM

Originally Posted by MaryinFL

Wow, this thread is nothing like I thought it would be. I was shocked to read some of the comments.

I am one who "almost" has $2000 in savings,

Yes, I have a car payment. Making $36K gross per year, how could I pay cash for a car? However, those who make $100K per year, ask yourself why you have so much debt, why you have a car payment, then try to imagine what it must be like to earn and live on a salary like mine without accumulating debt.

What amazes me most is that those who are the higher earners criticize those who are living on much less. Its very sad and disappointing.

Great job on the savings, seriously.

Why wouldn't you buy a $1000 - $3000 vehicle and be done with the car payment? I don't have a car payment (and did NOT purchase a car in the last 5 years) and am using a beater car that has 200,000 miles on it. And I drive 40,000 miles a year for work.

**MaryinFL** · 01-01-2012, 06:45 AM

Originally Posted by Shewillbemine

Great job on the savings, seriously.

Why wouldn't you buy a $1000 - $3000 vehicle and be done with the car payment? I don't have a car payment (and did NOT purchase a car in the last 5 years) and am using a beater car that has 200,000 miles on it. And I drive 40,000 miles a year for work.

Very simple on the car. I work for a man who owns car dealerships and when I told him I was looking for a car, he started looking for a good reliable car and sold it to me at his cost. I bought a 2006 Saturn Vue that had a book value of $17K for $10K. I put $3000 down on the car and financed the remaining $7000, which IS within my budget.

I could have bought a cheaper car, but being a single mom, there are things that I took into consideration when I was looking for a car. #1 how reliable is a low cost car going to be #2 The risk of having a major repair come along that was not in the budget #3 the resale value of the car #4 knowing the car had been checked out by his mechanics and that he was not just looking to unload a car. I know this car is reliable, and will last for quite a while.

**hmcart** · 01-01-2012, 07:48 AM

I totally get that some folks are working to pay bills and truly dont have much left over but I do know that the majority of people I know (myself included at one time) do spend way too much money on things they dont need and dont have money saved. In fact I have often been looked at like I have 2 heads when I say that I am saving to buy something. The response I get is "well this store has 12 months same as cash on that, why would you wait to buy it?". I am here to tell ya'll that I know first hand how unpredicting life can be. We were on a good road a few years ago and Dh lost his job. Then the unthinkable happened and we were faced with taking my sister in to our home or she would go to foster care. She was 10 at the time and needed a lot of counseling that was not cheap but we managed to make it. We have decided to give up eating out in general, mostly for financial reasons but also health reasons. I am sure we will get the same crazy look from those people who dont think twice about how they spend their money but that is okay. Oh goodness I am rambling now! ha! I still say you know your situation and you can do your best to control it. That is about all you can do, right?

**MaryinFL** · 01-01-2012, 08:19 AM

Heaven forbid I should be hit with a medical issue. Insurance is unobtainable right now, at least until the car is paid off. Even then I could only afford the $297 per month, which would leave me with a huge annual deductible, which is really only major issue insurance, they pay nothing for office visits and routine care. Basically a waste "unless" something happens

Policy Quotes:
$297 per month with $10,000 annual deductable
$490 per month with $ 5,000 annual deductable
$850 per month with $ 1,000 annual deductable

**pollypurebred39** · 01-01-2012, 12:01 PM

Shewillbemine, I try, I really try to be open to other people's opinions, but your so hard line, brushing all the world with the same brush stroke. Your just so positive in your opinion that you can't seem to summon any compassion for your fellow man. *sigh* You know, there may come a day that your knocked down from that high lofty place you preach from. I wouldn't take myself and my accomplishments so seriously if I were you.

I'll leave you with a blessing

As the years move forward in your life, for you I purpose compassion. An overwhelming, uncontainable compassion that overflows and touches all that come in contact with you. May you become so full of charity that the funeral home can not house the mourners for your funeral. May they stand in lines that trail the blocks, just to say farewell to the man who touched their lives, who changed their lives through his love, mercy and compassion for mankind.

That my friend is worth far more than any amount of money in your bank account.

**Cricketlegs** · 01-01-2012, 12:17 PM

I still stand by my original statement that every single situation is unique and to throw us all in the hopper and spin the handle and see what spits out without any information about the person is useless.

I HAD $2000+ in the savings until last Friday but our daughter had car trouble leaving here(Texas) and going home (Florida) and my dh had to pay the area dealership almost $700 to get his baby off the road at night, alone.

There is no way on Gods Green Earth that she could have taken care of it herself. My Dh and I gladly paid just so he could stop panicking!

So now I fall under the $2000 mark.

Where do I sit? Responsible or dead weight? Going by the numbers only--yowsa I'm a dead weight!

**Missourimom** · 01-01-2012, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by Momto5RN

a. Do you have a car payment?

yes without it i wouldnt be working and i make the $ = my car payment a week and once its gone i will still have a vehicle suitable for my work that i have known since the start and i can be sure is safe and maintained right - and for the next follow up assumptive question -- no i cant take a bus or car pool to work i am a home care nurse - . cant have a car breaking down either because i bought a clunker - peoples actual lives depend on me .
( telling someone sorry i couldnt get to your moms house to give her insulin because my clunker broke down and she died/ ended up in hospital etc- just doesnt go over well KWIM )

-

Agreed! Although I am not a home care nurse, I am a home care nurse assistant (with job #1) I MUST have a reliable car as well because I cannot tell a client, "sorry, you will lay in your urine all day because my car will not start....too bad you just have to stay in bed." With job #2, I work with developmentally disabled adults that I must provide transportation for and I cannot tell them, "sorry, you will not see your Dr. today, go to your job, attend your church service, etc because my car won't start."

Public transportation or car pooling is not for everyone.

**oheoh's momma** · 01-01-2012, 12:50 PM

This really did get mean.... I felt attacked... How long does it take to recover from a major life crisis. I don't know we are still recovering..... Financially and emotionally....
I am right at the poverty line. I could have stayed in public housing and been so much better off. I was wealthy over there.
WE choice to live in a house we can't afford for our sanity sake.... Quiet neighbors, clean neighbors, safe street no crime or drug dealers.
Our neighbors were worried about coming from the worst neighbor hood in the city limits. They like us, respect us, and visit with us.
I paid no water bill, sewage, garbage, or gas. my bill was 226 dollars this month.... I could have easily stayed in a bad neighborhood, and saved that much a month..... But I choose to go. Was tired of 3 neighbors 1 who did not know the meaning of soap, water, pinesol, bleach, deodrant, ect. Their smell came in house and made me miserable. 2 the second neighbor who was a baby making factory whose children (6) 5 of them received SSI, she beat them, would not bath them, locked them in the room, was reported to police and social services never done at damn thing about it. Now something has been done...3. a crazy woman who was off medication who stalked me, called the manger if my cat got out... Harassed me for years.
Finally had my belly full..
I can be judgemental but I do have compassion. I take out of my home to give to the church food pantry... Because I am a child of God's...

**Missourimom** · 01-01-2012, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by Momto5RN

hmm to think i came here to take my mind off the fact 2012 will start out pretty sucky as my grandmother is dying and instead find the judgement game being played again - the thing i hate most about frugal boards .

Quoting Debbi again, but I agree with her. I've noticed this quite a bit lately and it really is sad. People come to frugal boards for many reasons and we can offer advice and tips in a Polite manner without making people feel like they're losers and they should feel ashamed of themselves. That better than everyone else attitude drives me nuts.