Need Frugal Gift Giving Advice

QM · 07-23-2011, 11:02 PM

After reading that thread about frugal vs cheap, it's got me thinking about the birthday gift DD1 (age 7) is giving tomorrow at a boy's birthday party.

DH has a stash of clearance-priced gifts in our computer room closet. He came up with three action figures (all bixed separately) including Batman, Joker and another evil guy off Batman. He paid $2 each from Wal-Mart for them probably 2 years ago. My problem with giving such a cheap gift is if the boy didn't want them and the mom decided to return them, she'd discover we paid a whopping $6 for her son's birthday gift. I asked DH to add something to the gift and he found a Toys Operation game. I think he paid $5 or $10 depending on whether he had a coupon for it. If we give the three action figures and the game we spent at the most $16 plus tax.

The thing with this mom is she appears to be overly generous. I don't know her financial situation and I don't care, but when she found out that the cake isn't going to be peanut/nut-free, she said she's going to give my daughter a King Size Coffee Crisp instead of cake. (DD1 has a severe nut allergy.) She also didn't cut costs at making the invitation. My mom who does beautiful scrapbooking was AMAZED at the detail, effort and expense that went into the invitations. I'm also sure (considering the expensive invitations and king size chocolate bar DD1 will have) the mom isn't cutting costs anywhere.

Am I crazy for wanting to add the game when the action figures probably look generous enough...as long as the mom doesn't try returning them to Wal-Mart? I don't know what to do.

**Debbie-cat** · 07-23-2011, 11:15 PM

I would only give the action figures. Those action figures are expensive at regular price. It doesn't matter what you paid for them! Action figures are something that I don't think a parent would return anyway even if the boy did already have them. They can always use a double when they play.

I think you might be setting yourself for big trouble if the other children at the party see your DD giving not only 3 action figures but a game as well.....they might invite her to their parties just to get so many gifts.

Wrap up the 3 figures and don't worry about what the recipient might do with them afterward.

**Kitten20** · 07-24-2011, 12:56 AM

Originally Posted by Debbie-cat

I would only give the action figures. Those action figures are expensive at regular price. It doesn't matter what you paid for them! Action figures are something that I don't think a parent would return anyway even if the boy did already have them. They can always use a double when they play.

I think you might be setting yourself for big trouble if the other children at the party see your DD giving not only 3 action figures but a game as well.....they might invite her to their parties just to get so many gifts.

Wrap up the 3 figures and don't worry about what the recipient might do with them afterward.

I agree. The action figures are plenty!

**mauimagic** · 07-24-2011, 02:07 AM

That makes three agreeing on the three action figures. That is more than perfect for a 7YO. If you have a chance to talk with the mom, make sure she knows that you appreciate all the work that went into the invitations too - sounds like a thoughtful person who enjoys doing these things. I'm impressed that she's taking good care of your daughter too!!

**2ndGenGranola** · 07-24-2011, 07:22 AM

A word of warning...

I have a just turned 8 y/o, a 9 y/o and 11 y/o. Obviously we are on the very frugal end of life but even then my kids do know all of the popular action figures, where to buy them and how much they cost and even when the sales are on. The networking among the youngsters is amazing. Between them and their friends they can tell you when the figures were in stores, how much the original price was and when it went out of the stores.

Unless the child is living in an isolated box, they will know all the details about the toys so just assume that the Mom will know whether she plans on returning them or not.

Since she is going to an added expense to make sure your child has a nut free treat, I may consider going another route this time by picking up a different gift and saving the action figures for later. You don't have to break the bank. Follow the promptings your are already having in your gut.

**Sophia** · 07-24-2011, 08:01 AM

I personally think that the action figure toys are fine. Most kids don't mind if they are this season or not. I know from personal experience that you can buy toys or any item full price and if you decide you don't want it or the child doesn't like it you need a receipt because sometimes the item has been marked down. I've very rarely returned a gift unless it was clothes and the item was to small. I think it is fine to give the toys you have. It is not the cost but the thought that counts. TC

**shoiji** · 07-24-2011, 11:09 AM

Your question reminded me when I was a child. I was given $1 to purchase a gift for a birthday party. Yup, ONE dollar. It usually ended up being something from the tinkerbell line of perfume/bath oil.

I would not worry about the money spent on the action figures. Giving a total of 4 presents does seem to much. Having 3 action figures is more than enough. Being frugal means buying when on sale just as you are doing.

QM · 07-24-2011, 11:39 AM

Well, I decided to listen to 2ndGenGranola and my gut and give the four gifts. I agree with 2ndGenGranola that if the boy knows anything about action figures (which he probably does) then he'll know that they're the "older" action figures. He likes Batman as per DD1, so there's a good chance he already has some. If this boy was 3 or 4 and they were probably his first action figures ever, then I'd feel better since they wouldn't know what's on the market.

I just would HATE for the mom to know that the action figures are the ones from a couple years ago, know that we must have bought them for next to nothing...after she put so much time and effort into the party and thinking about doing something special instead of cake for DD1. I don't want to be known as the 'tightwad mom' who isn't generous at kids' birthday parties. I don't mind giving a $10 to $15 gift, but to give a $6 gift feels stingy in my gut.

Thanks for all your input guys! It's always nice seeing different points of view and why!