Nipping the Volunteerism in the bud.

**mommy4ever** · 09-02-2011, 12:48 AM

Our family is heavily involved in sports. One sport is ringette, for those curious, www.ringette.ca the short and sweet, is a very fast paced ice sport with a ring and tapered stick shooting on net. (more complicated than that...). I have 3 kids in it. I end up as a manager of a team every year. Due to that , I'm with that team full time. I do the youngest child. There are tons of critics but no volunteers.

Every family is required to volunteer, even if you have 3 kids, only one volunteer commitment required ( I personally don't feel it's fair, but...)

Last year, I didn't even get a thank you card for the long hours I put in. SO, I'm NOT doing it this year. I just received an email that next weekend, there is a bottle drive. SOOOOO.. I emailed signed up to be at the depot for the day with dd14 and ds17. This fulfills our family commitment for the year, and then some.

So I'm going to do NOTHING this year for the team beyond fundraise if we do it. I don't need to manage, I don't need to do the tournament volunteer, NOTHING. Let some of the busy know it alls who have 1 child but "no time" do it, but all the time in the world to complain.

I'm not doing it, I refuse to do it. No way, no how.

Now to find out if I can help with karate and reduce our fees....(that's the kind of volunteerism I like..lol)

**happymomof4** · 09-02-2011, 09:03 AM

I raised 4 kids. Did a huge amount of volunteering thru the years. I also worked full time outside the home. I really use to bug me that mom and dad with 1 kid and 1 sport couldn't find the time to help out.

I started paying the op out fee and didn't do any fundraisers. It just go to much and I got tired of asking co-workerss and family to help out with all these fundraisers. My company also put a policy in about no fundraising at work.

Glad those days are over.

**mommy4ever** · 09-02-2011, 09:10 AM

We have the 4 kids, I run a business from home and home school. And hear nothing but we have no time.

The fundraising this year will be neat. The organization is selling grocery cards, and it stays with the family selling them. Meaning if our family sells $1000/mo in grocery cards, they set up an account with $100/mo earned by our family. We can use this for team budget or registration fees next fall. When dd14 played AA a few years ago, it was great, we simply took monthly pre-orders from coworkers etc, picked them up, handed them out. No one was out money, it was just a paper shuffle. So we'll be coordinating this very carefully this year. With any luck, we'll pay registration fees with these funds for next year.

**Debbie-cat** · 09-02-2011, 11:28 AM

I agree with you!! It is time for someone else to take over. You have done more than your fair share and you need to keep your sanity. Good for you!

**Momto5RN** · 09-02-2011, 04:44 PM

as long as you know what you say its true - then do what is best for you

as for non volunteers i cant tell you the # of times in the past 5 years since i was dx with fibromyalgia i could tell i walked into a conversation that was about me - or people they felt didnt volunteer enough .

yes i look fine - yes if i walk my very fine tightrope in life i can work PT to help support my family i may go to the majority of my kids games if i can - but i pay for it when i get home . in the winter i turn into a 90 yo about 3pm - in nice weather i can be fine till 8 or i can have issues at 3 i just never know .

and goodness knows if i didnt make it what was said - i must not care about my kids etc .

my dhs work hours are 8 till almost 7 or 8 as he works in another state so he leaves and gets back at that time and he doesnt have the type of job you say oh its 5 i can leave .

i eventually had to tell people my private health issues -because i felt it was badly reflecting on my children -

started with PTA prez and with coaches when asked if i wanted to do something i couldnt do
now i occasionally put a persons foot in their mouth for them when i walk into the conversation

i could wake upon top of the world or i can wake up feeling like i have been beat by a baseball bat and have the worst case of sunburn at the same time - so i cant chair a committee that i might not be able to make the activity for !!

but i do alot behind the scenes from home - sometimes from my bed - make shakers for cheer -research prices - carpool to practices - none of which anyone other than myself and a coach might know about .

if the people are truly "too busy" and leave it all to others shame on them but some may have other issues they like to keep private - i have never said i was too busy but i didnt disagree when others assumed that what it was - until recently

**mommy4ever** · 09-02-2011, 05:38 PM

Momto5rn,

I do know some of these families going on 8 years... and they just don't help with anything. Our organization provides many opportunities to help out with things as simple as calling around for supplies and they'll do the pick up. Sending email to organize functions, such as letting the organization know there will be a swap meet.

Families that talk about being so hung over from the parties the night before. Go for runs during practice time, and such. So I know there are minimal health issues present. But can't run a time clock, or sit at a raffle table for a 2 hour shift....

Sorry it is a pet peeve.