Is it just me or is this rude?

**Dancing Lotus** · 09-08-2011, 03:12 PM

My sil lives in Michigan. I live in Florida.
Her mother lives with her.
A relative of hers is going to a nursing home so her home and it's contents are being sold. I think this is my sil's aunt but not sure the relation. Anywho , my sil called me and asked if I would go to the aunts home to pick up some things that belong to the aunt and have been promised to sil's mother.
I'm thinking maybe a vase or some jewelry, a photo album or blanket. You know the normal things people pass on. No big deal I can keep a box of things for a while right?

Well, it turns out it's furniture. VERY Large , old , ugly furniture.
I do not have room nor want this furniture in my home. We are trying to get rid of things so we can down size. When we finally have to move I want to take as little as possible. It's anyone's guess how long she will leave this stuff with me, years most likely.
I know she will never come to get it as it's been 7 or 8 yrs since they moved and they haven't come back yet.

I think it's out of line for her to ask but I'm not likely to say no as I'm the only one who can do this for her. Would you say yes?

**craftypam** · 09-08-2011, 03:27 PM

I want to say something about this situation. People are afraid to say no or speak up; BUT sil has no problem asking you for something this big; then you should have no problem saying no; especially if it's not going to work for you. I hope you can tell her no if that's what you really want. You are going to be miserable with that ugly furniture and what happens if you have to move it?

I hope you're understanding how I'm explaining this. My ds and dil are having a real problem with a neighbor and they should have put their foot down in the beginning. We can only be taken advantage of it we let people.

**Dancing Lotus** · 09-08-2011, 03:36 PM

I totally understand what your saying. I just wanted to be sure that it was in fact rude and not that I just don't want ugly furniture in my house.
I am thinking I should flat out give her a time limit and tell her that if she doesn't get it or make other arrangements within 6 months the furniture will be sold.

**Lady_V** · 09-08-2011, 03:36 PM

You were asked to pick items up, Was there mention of delivery, retrieval or storage?

If not, I would call the SIL and ask her the name of the local storage warehouse she wants the furniture delivered to.

I think it will let her know that you are NOT going to be storing these items in your home. It also lets her decide if she wants to pay to store them, pay to have them delivered, come get them personally.... or arrange for them to be sold.

**Dancing Lotus** · 09-08-2011, 03:37 PM

Lady V she did ask me to keep the items for her.

**max915** · 09-08-2011, 03:44 PM

I used to be bad about not wanting to say no to someone but I finally hit the age where if they don't like it ..tough...I had to live around someone elses stuff for 10 years and I can tell you I hated it...so no more...I figure if she wants it she can come and get it or hire someone to do it for her.

**monkeywrangler71** · 09-08-2011, 03:44 PM

It's not rude for her to ask, how else would she know if you were willing to help? It's also not rude for you to say "No, I'm sorry, I don't have the room"

**frugal is fun** · 09-08-2011, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by Lady_V

You were asked to pick items up, Was there mention of delivery, retrieval or storage?

If not, I would call the SIL and ask her the name of the local storage warehouse she wants the furniture delivered to.

I think it will let her know that you are NOT going to be storing these items in your home. It also lets her decide if she wants to pay to store them, pay to have them delivered, come get them personally.... or arrange for them to be sold.

I was thinking along the same lines."I'd be happy to arrange movers and a storage warehouse, what credit card number would you like me to give them?"

**Ramona** · 09-08-2011, 03:57 PM

I wouldn't touch this situation with a ten foot pole.

The lady is going into a nursing home and the relatives are helping themselves to her stuff? I don't think so.

As to asking you to store furniture? The answer is no, you have no room for it.

**Dancing Lotus** · 09-08-2011, 04:06 PM

OKay , I just sent her an email asking if there was anyone else who could keep this for her as I do not have the room. We will see how this goes. She isn't the sort to take it well. She is a drama queen and she will be telling the entire state how I refused to help

**Momto5RN** · 09-08-2011, 04:16 PM

in a few weeks everyone who knows her and knows is a drama queen will forget you refused to be a free storage area ,,but if you take it every time you see it you will be resentful about it being there .plus really who would want to be a free storage facility - no one so even if they agree to her face - they are probably thinking i wouldnt either when they walk away

if her mom is already living with her when does she supposed her mom will ever use this stuff ??? never.

they need to let it go to someone who can really use it or pay to store it . the fact it wasnt told to you up front what it was- how big etc is sneaky manipulative behavior on her part

**Momto5RN** · 09-08-2011, 04:18 PM

is she says theres no one else google storage facilities in the area find the cheapest one and send her the link

you really also dont know if she is taking something legally

**ncarr** · 09-08-2011, 04:33 PM

Offer to transport it to a storage unit--- under her credit card number.

**BlissMommy** · 09-08-2011, 04:41 PM

I find it highly rude. I would say no and that you don't have the room.

**Contrary Housewife** · 09-08-2011, 04:59 PM

I don't think it's rude to ask. Now, if she demanded that you go get it and keep it for her, that's another thing. But as family, I think you're at least obligated to listen when a favor is asked of you.

Now, if she expects you to hold it for much longer than it takes her to rent a truck and drive down there, that would be rude.

I second offering to help her find a storage unit.