i have to ask why any women would want to be with a man

**brenda67** · 09-22-2011, 12:20 PM

that doesn't work? I can understand if he were disabled or collecting unemployment and can't find any work or the wife want's to be the Bread Winner and they are doing okay financially without the dh working to take care of the kids.. I ask this because my gf's boyfriend doesn't work doesn't collect unemployment said's he can't find a job..so it's okay for my gf to work 50hrs a week to not even be able to cover all the bill's why he drives around (in a car his mother bought him..he's like 46yrs old) all over the place (doesn't have a license either) doing whatever he want's to do..I just don't get it..I don't understand why women want this kind of relationship with what I would call a BIG LOSER..Why are these women to insecure to move on to someone better? I told my Dh I would never belittle myself to be with a guy that didn't pull his own weight period! I've talked & talked to my girlfriend about getting rid of him as we hear her constantly talk how she doesn't have enough money to pay her bill's but he has to have his OLD SPICE BODYWASH and only wears LEVI JEANS..I know my girlfriend's priorities are not where they should be because she will buy him whatever he want's even if she didn't pay for car payment so he has whatever...I DON"T UNDERSTAND IT? I know at least 4 different gf's that live the same way..

And losing their license for whatever reason and using that as and excuse NOT to find a job is BS in my book too! I know poop happen's. If you lost your license it's YOUR FAULT.. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY..GROWUP..My own brother lost his license from a DWI (he was a very bad alcoholic for many years) lost his CDL (commercial driver's license..he is a operating engineer/truck driver) because of it and still found a job plus a ride to and from work EVERYDAY to support his family..Yes he was a loser in my book for drinking and driving,losing his license,losing his CDL putting his family through all this crap not to mention all the money you have to pay in fines..But he still worked! BTW my brother is now a reformed alcoholic has his license back and still takes care of his family!

I look at all men as LOSER"S that don't pull their own weight..Sorry if I sound evil but that's who I am! Thanks for letting me vent!

**nuisance26** · 09-22-2011, 12:42 PM

~Maybe she doesn't want to be alone? Some will put up with a ton of garbage just as long as they have someone.
It baffles me when people don't place a high enough value on themselves or their time. I mean, you don't have to be a snob, but it only takes a couple of months to see what kind of person it is you're dating and whether or not they are a "lifetime" person. Then you can cut and run before your feelings are too far involved.
I think a lot of people just don't have any idea what a lifetime relationship is supposed to look like so they don't recognize a good prospect when they see one.
So they fall for the con-artists over and over and over again.~

**thefrug** · 09-22-2011, 12:43 PM

I see it too. All you hear is: But I LUUUUVVVV him!! Geesh. And have you taken a look at whats out there for women to "date" or even marry? Good grief! Theres so many greasey looking, clothes hanging ( too big), tattooed and pierced freaks out there. Where does a young woman now-a-days find a decent looking, moral man?!
I'm so glad that I'm not that young.
Where do women get this idea that , thats the best they can do in finding someone? *shakes head*

**McD** · 09-22-2011, 01:04 PM

My tattooed man is great looking and has some pretty darn good morals. I don't think the outside appearance is what matters. I've known some clean cut dillholes and some amazing people buried beneath a layer of piercings.

People put up with it for a variety of reasons: They have been taught either by the person they are with or by example of others' relationships in their life that that is the best they can do. Or they think that is how 'all' relationships are. I've known people that are simply to lazy to end a relationship and put the effort forth into getting a new significant other. It's easier to put up with it and whine.

**krbshappy71** · 09-22-2011, 01:20 PM

Sometimes people get lost. Sometimes loving people can help those lost people find their way, other times that help is turned down. We can only help those who want to be helped. All others just love from afar.

**brenda67** · 09-22-2011, 01:26 PM

Thank you all for your reply's..My gf's man is a very good looking man with the body to go with it maybe that's why? She is also very very controlling..I just get so tired of hearing (and everyone else too) that she doesn't have any money EVERY OTHER DAY....KWIM..I love my friend I hate to see her work like a dog and never get ahead..kwim? I just need to stay away from her awhile I guess..NO ONE is going to change her way of thinking no matter what! She has been with this man for 18yrs..and I just found out that he has never really worked..since I've known her which is 10yrs (but 5 yrs have been really close friend's) now..she just never really voiced her financial problem's until about 3yrs ago..Anyway thanks for listening..I'm done with my venting now..LOL..

**craftypam** · 09-22-2011, 01:33 PM

I am soooo with you Brenda!!! I don't understand why anyone would stay with someone who doesn't treat them right in any way. I just think life is too short to put up with that.

**Ceashels** · 09-22-2011, 01:47 PM

That's the type of GF, I ask... "what are you doing to change the situation?"

I have several GF's who are wonderful enablers who's spouses are losers and they feel they can change them in time. I know others who are very controlling and like having the martyrdom of their situation. Somewhere along the line they found their way into the mess they are in and only they can figure out how to get out.

**McD** · 09-22-2011, 01:56 PM

Originally Posted by craftypam

I am soooo with you Brenda!!! I don't understand why anyone would stay with someone who doesn't treat them right in any way. I just think life is too short to put up with that.

Some girlfriends and I were talking about this recently. At one point, all of us had been with a complete waste of space and looking back now, we are all like "WTF?"

Seriously, what were we thinking? And then we realized, you put up with it and you just don't realize that it is complete and utter crap until you have had better.

**Ramona** · 09-22-2011, 02:20 PM

She must not believe that she deserves a better man. Until she realizes that fact, life as they know it will continue.

**monkeywrangler71** · 09-22-2011, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by brenda67

Thank you all for your reply's..My gf's man is a very good looking man with the body to go with it maybe that's why? She is also very very controlling.

Its no different than all the (typically controlling) men who financially support women that contribute nothing and frivolously spend all their money, but look good.

He's just a very expensive toy/accessory.

**thefrug** · 09-22-2011, 02:40 PM

I don't care what you all say about the "outer" package. If your man has a huge honkin tattoo on his throat and bars of metal coming out of every orafice on his face, he's NOT going to get a good paying job.
The "outer" package DOES matter.

and IMO you should tell these so called girlfriends that you're sick of hearing the $itchin and to tell the loser either get lost or get a job!
Man, life's too short to be dreading seeing somebody because of their whining and $itchin. Tell them the truth and be done with it. If they can't take it then count yourself lucky and move on. You're wasting your time and energy avoiding the dopes. WHY? Why do YOU have to do it?

I don't understand people anymore. I really don't LMAO

**McD** · 09-22-2011, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by thefrug

I don't care what you all say about the "outer" package. If your man has a huge honkin tattoo on his throat and bars of metal coming out of every orafice on his face, he's NOT going to get a good paying job.
The "outer" package DOES matter.

Yep. The military, the DEA, local narcotics agencies, and the police department are all horrible places to work.

**Nishu** · 09-22-2011, 03:40 PM

Gee, I dunno, exactly how cute is this guy?

To each their own, I guess. Dating users who look good is something that men have been doing eons. I'm not sure I see it as a personal weakness so much as a change in our social structure. Let's try to restrain our jealousy, ladies. Pretty soon we'll each have one of our own.

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Earlier this year, women became the majority of the workforce for the first time in U.S. history. Most managers are now women too. And for every two men who get a college degree this year, three women will do the same. For years, women’s progress has been cast as a struggle for equality. But what if equality isn’t the end point? What if modern, postindustrial society is simply better suited to women? A report on the unprecedented role reversal now under way— and its vast cultural consequences

The situation should be highly offensive, imo, if you're a dude. Being a trophy SO or a boy toy is degrading, and it's something that you do if society has no other use for you. On the other hand, having one of these creatures as a pet give you a certain amount of respect. I'm not joking. As much as we detest the situation, if the roles were reversed, this would be a situation that barely raises eyebrows.

**Ceashels** · 09-22-2011, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by Nishu

Gee, I dunno, exactly how cute is this guy?

To each their own, I guess. Dating users who look good is something that men have been doing eons. I'm not sure I see it as a personal weakness so much as a change in our social structure. Let's try to restrain our jealousy, ladies. Pretty soon we'll each have one of our own.

ROFLMAO! I want one, I want one!