gift card....what would you do

**dwnloom** · 10-13-2011, 12:15 PM

I have worked 60 hrs in three days. As a thank you my work is giving me a gift card. Normally I would share it with my hubby.....but......he has been crabby and a jerk during this.....is it wrong to keep it for me or should I share....I feel bad thinking about not sharing but........thanks

**Libby** · 10-13-2011, 12:23 PM

It depends on which store the gift card is for?

Technically the card was given to you. If you're like me, you use things given to YOU for the 'house' which includes those that live with you.

How about putting the gift card away until later when you've both had some time to cool down an think with a clear head?

**Syn D** · 10-13-2011, 02:31 PM

I'd think after all those hours you worked, you deserve it.

If it isn't to a place your interested in, Merry Christmas to someone

**mndtrp** · 10-13-2011, 06:34 PM

My wife occasionally gets gift cards from her work, if she's done something exemplary. I've never expected her to share it with me. We already share her salary, if she gets something extra, she should be able to do with it as she wished. Now, if she wants to take us out for dinner or something with it, great! If not, I'm not concerned.

This sort of applies to bonuses, as well. Since we still have some debt, we put 2/3 of the bonus towards the debt, while the leftover 1/3 can be spent on whatever the earner wants.

**peanut** · 10-13-2011, 06:41 PM

Hmmm...when DH gets extra for a job well done at work, I don't expect to see any of it. I kind of figure it's his to spend. He doesn't even bother to tell me he gets it now. Doesn't upset me any. He deserves it!

**Momto5RN** · 10-13-2011, 07:48 PM

he didnt do the work . and if he was being crabby while you did it then he didnt support you while you worked extra hard - i wouldnt give it to him and if it was for a restaurant i would use it with a friend not with him ...

**nuisance26** · 10-13-2011, 08:26 PM

~I'm intrigued by the responses.
If DH gets something extra at work he for sure must share it with me even when it's a Bingo prize at lunchtime. When I sell things online, fill out rebates or earn gift cards through MyPoints or Swagbucks, I share with him.
In a situation where my spouse was crabby with me about extra time at work, I'd assume he was upset because he missed me.
Withholding the reward for that extra time away seems as rude as the bad attitude he gave you and treating him as if he's a child and not a partner.
I say share it or give him the whole thing. Take the high road.

~

**thefrug** · 10-14-2011, 06:43 AM

why reward bad behavior? he's being a jerk, do you want him to continue this behavior? Keep it. You earned it.

**Uniwolf** · 10-14-2011, 08:43 AM

I agree with nuisance26 here, was there something going on while you were very busy at work that he would have normaly had imput from you on, that has made him crankie? Does he feel deserted ? If this is not normal behavior for him I would be wanting to find out why the out of character behavior before saying he could not share in the unexpected gc.

**annymoll** · 10-14-2011, 11:08 AM

I'm sorry your husband was cross with you. Shame on him.That is alot of hours to put in for such a few short days, and if he did nothing to help you, I would be upset also!I know, because I have been there.Go out with a girlfriend and treat yourself. Bring him home a Happy Meal.

**Nishu** · 10-14-2011, 11:13 AM

I think it's okay to keep it for yourself, but I think it's a bad idea to keep it for yourself just because you're angry. I'd put it away until you cool off.

**sunshine** · 10-14-2011, 12:38 PM

I have to agree with nuisance26 . I share my bonuses, gift cards, etc with the family - of course my work takes taxes out of any "gifts" we receive as well.

Dh is disabled and doesn't work. . . so it's a moot point as to if he'd share his bonuses, etc. . . although I'm nearly certain he would.

**monkeywrangler71** · 10-14-2011, 12:46 PM

I don't think it's wrong in general to use a gift card on yourself - although maybe that depends on how much it's worth and what it's for. However, not if you are doing it purely out of spite. That's just going to escalate the resentment between you and your husband. Better to forgive him for his crabbiness and move on.

**krbshappy71** · 10-14-2011, 02:41 PM

You wrote that you feel bad about not sharing it. So share. Your heart is speaking to you. Follow it.

It knows better. It knows you don't want to be petty and that it wont help things. I do like Libby's suggestion to stash it for now until things get better, you could also use it to MAKE things better. Treat him out and I wouldn't be surprised if he apologized (even if in a non-chalant way) for his behavior.

Hugs to you, this stuff isn't easy.

**Telephus44** · 10-14-2011, 03:26 PM

Whenever DH or I get a work bonus for performance, we don't "share" it, we keep it for ourselves. If one of my kids got a prize at school, I wouldn't make them share it with us, either. It might be different if one of our salaries paid out an annual bonus or something, but I feel if I earned it - or DH earned it - then for the most part I or he can treat ourselves. Last year DH got a national award for outstanding performance, the first one to win it in his division in over 5 years - it came with a $1000 cash prize. He wanted to buy an iPad. So he did. I'm not offended that it didn't get shared. He worked his butt off and he deserved it as far as I'm concerned.