Should I feel ashamed?

**SarahElmore** · 10-20-2011, 03:52 PM

As some of you may remember, my hubby & I are wanting to trade in our jobs in the big city (Washington DC) and follow our hearts & move back home closer to family & live in the country (Michigan).

I am an RN and I have a interviewing with my former boss for my job back next week (ahh, that sounds nice, I miss my old job!)

My hubby..well he works for Homeland Security in DC, I know good federal job with great job security, we must be crazy, cause we have been here for 18months, have met great friends, but we just long for home, we miss family & the lifestyle this city cannot offer us... so here is our plan...

Move back to Michigan. I will pick up where I left off at, as an RN, at my old hospital.

He will apply & hopefully get into the Police Academy School and then hopefully land a job short after....

We found a house we are going to look at next week. Real cute ranch, built in 2006 3bedroom 2bath..just enough space for us & our dog & a home that I can afford on my nursing salary.

I will pick up an extra 8hour shift a week...do this, we will be able to save $1000/per month.

I am thinking that it is only temporary so why not... and I could always work more... we are just trying to follow our hearts with the attitude "together we can do anything"

Plus, he would like to be a police officer in our home state when the opportunity comes about...

Here are my questions. I am super insecure people think we are crazy leaving his great job & for him to go home to NO job...

Second, is saving a $1000/month something to be embarrassed about?

I have $10,000 in savings right now. I plan on doing some OT to pay for our move...so hopefully, we will go home with $8000-9000 in our pockets.

Thank you!

**oheoh's momma** · 10-20-2011, 04:04 PM

No wanting to go home is a fine reason to move if you can afford it. You are getting your old job back and have savings and it nothing to be ashamed about home is were you are the happiest. Jobs in Michigan are not good but hopefully you will be alright. Good luck to you both.

**krbshappy71** · 10-20-2011, 04:33 PM

Ashamed? You are both opening up two jobs in D.C. for someone who may be currently out of work, you will change their lives for the better!

If this helps at all: I am leaving a job of 14 years to move back East where I have no family, no friends, no job, but a long-distance BF, we are finally becoming local after three years of this ldr.

I have no shame even if someone thinks I should. I am following my heart and for that I will not apologize.

If we make it, great, if we struggle, bummer, but we will be together. It sounds as if you and hubby are on the same page, hold onto that. It sounds as if you both really want this, so do it.

**xtena** · 10-20-2011, 06:05 PM

Aside from what others have said above, saving 1000 a month is AWESOME nothing to be embarrassed about. Are you debt free? You have student loans listed in your signature. You should probably tackle that debt before saving too much more, though.

**mystypooh** · 10-20-2011, 07:47 PM

I am not great at giving advice but if you're not truly happy where you are then you should move back home. It's quite apparent that you miss home and it seems like you've thought long and hard on it. Don't worry about what other people think.

I agree with happy71- "I am following my heart and for that I will not apologize."

**Spirit Deer** · 10-20-2011, 10:07 PM

Who cares what someone else thinks? It's your life, not theirs.

**outnumbered** · 10-20-2011, 10:59 PM

You lasted longer than us. We lasted two months in MD before packing it in and heading to AL. That area, just did not work for our family. You have to follow your heart. Everyone you talk to will have their own opinion, but they are not living your life, YOU are.

**frugalfoster** · 10-20-2011, 11:28 PM

It's not about how much money you make, it's about how you manage the money you make. It sounds like you do great with the latter part of that phrase. At some point we have to ask ourselves.."how much money is enough?" If we have enough to live comfortably, then isn't everything else just extra?? Bottom line...money can't buy happiness and how happy are the things that you are buying with the extra money, making you?

Besides...who really cares what people think? Everyone takes a turn at being talked about... if they are talking about you, they are leaving someone else alone. (Just my experience)

**MamaTreadler** · 10-20-2011, 11:38 PM

I'm just going to be real honest here. I do not see *anything* in your post to be embarrassed about! I don't even understand why any of that could be potentially embarrassing?? Do what's right for you and your family and don't spend your precious moments in life being worried about what "others" might think. "Others" are in debt up to their eyeballs and proud of it. Do you really want to be like them?

**SarahElmore** · 10-21-2011, 05:30 AM

Thank yous to all! We are just at that crossroad.. where staying would be easy & going home would be risky but in the long run happy. We go back on Monday. We will see family & friends, he will take a law enforcement exam & I'll meet with my former boss, plus see a house we like. I both want to go home, this trip will help us make our final decision for what's right for us.

Thank you Thank you.

Yes money doesn't buy happiness, I've been saying this too! I never thought it did but now I have proof

**mamamia** · 10-21-2011, 05:42 AM

Originally Posted by MamaTreadler

I'm just going to be real honest here. I do not see *anything* in your post to be embarrassed about! I don't even understand why any of that could be potentially embarrassing?? Do what's right for you and your family and don't spend your precious moments in life being worried about what "others" might think. "Others" are in debt up to their eyeballs and proud of it. Do you really want to be like them?

This would have been my post exactly. Truthfully, I had to read your post 3 x to try to find the ~embarassing~ part? I wish I would have left Fl to go back to NY, somewhere around the 1st week we moved here ....literally! And now it's not quite so easy. (too much medical debt, bigger kids, and so on). If you have the opportunity, and you do, please don't hesitate. It truly gets harder as time goes by!

Don't walk....run, and also, don't look back! You're going to be so much happier!

Theresa

**cadamsgis** · 10-21-2011, 06:41 AM

you are entlitled to your own feelings - you don't have to ask permission from others to have them

that said I would be proud of myself if I was in the same situation

I live in the DC area and it's not for everyone. I'm ok here for now but when I retire (in 16 years) we are moving to Mexico.

**Lora88** · 10-21-2011, 06:51 AM

Follow your heart if you dont you will always think what if You have a right to be happy

**Josephhgoins** · 10-21-2011, 07:40 AM

when I decided to move, I quit without a job to go to. My plan was to simply live off of savings until I found something. I can honestly think it was the best decision of my life. I ended up getting a work from home position with my company and still get to work for the same folks.

I got to have cake and eat it too!!

**nuisance26** · 10-21-2011, 08:33 AM

~Being a regular saver is nothing to be ashamed of. I don't know if you're embarrassed that it's too low for your income bracket or that it's so much it make you look "cheap".
We're very low middle, single income and that's what we save every month. We're also debt free but the house. You can do a lot with whatever income you have as long as you are disciplined.
Just a little plug for small houses here but "just what you need" is probably not 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms for 2 people and dogs. If you aren't planning for children, you can do very well with a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom and save a lot of money.
I've lived in a 2 Bed, 1 Bath for 11 years now. Even with kids, I've been able to "find" room. It does take a big mental shift though.

Otherwise, I agree that with your profession, you can follow your heart more than most people. Your hubby's references should be able to land him a job almost anywhere easily. So go for it!~