Why Men Are Seldom Depressed

[HappyMama]

Hehe thought you all might like


WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:

Men are just happier people –
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you,
he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
• The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

[mamachop]

Wouldn't it be nice if it could be so easy for all of us women!

[Russ]

Thats about right.

[zakity]

Ok, this was good!

[many houseapes]

reading this makes me hate dh.lol....they have it so much easier - sometimes

[Ramona]

Thank you for this, it's going to be copied and pasted to my email friends.
I'd still rather be a woman, though.

[Dutchie]

OFFSPRING
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

I just have to share this.

In Holland when you get married you get what is called a 'marriage booklet'. It is a kind of logbook - for want of a better word.
If children are born into the marriage, they are registered in this small book.

Anyhow, because we were married in Scotland (but live in the Netherlands) we didn't have such a marriage booklet so each time a child was born dh had to take a small note with him to remind him of the dates of birth of the other kids and with my date of birth on it.

My dh is TERRIBLE at dates of birth and a great hit at our dinner table is always if the kids suddenly ask their dad - 'when is my birthday?'. You see him start talking about something else to distract the kids but all the while you can almost literally see his brain churning.

OK now what happened that is really hilarious in our family.

Our 5th child was born. Dh goes to the town hall to register her birth, note in hand with all the dates of birth of the other kids and my date of birth - this had to be told each time because it was before the computer era and we moved around a lot.

Everything is going well, dh was feeling very pleased with himself until the official suddenly asks, sir what is your date of birth?

He couldn't for the life of him remember his date of birth. After a while, he called home and asked me.

Further he is great with a LOT of things but as he says, he has me for all this kind of stuff.

(Of course I got the blame for not writing down his date of birth on the note that he took with him.)

[nuisance26]

Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
One mood all the time.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
he or she can still be your friend.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
You can play with toys all your life.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
• The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

~
That was a good read. Boys are so funny.
It's weird though because I'm the one who always thought about being President. But I guess you could take that as the societal ease of men in that position as well as positions in the military and law enforcement. LE was the career I was considering and I got a lot of pressure for that. Men generally never do. :shrug: ~

[Russ]

Further he is great with a LOT of things but as he says, he has me for all this kind of stuff.

(Of course I got the blame for not writing down his date of birth on the note that he took with him.)

These make perfect sense to me.
He sounds like a good man!

[imagine]

I just have to share this.

In Holland when you get married you get what is called a 'marriage booklet'. It is a kind of logbook - for want of a better word.
If children are born into the marriage, they are registered in this small book.

Anyhow, because we were married in Scotland (but live in the Netherlands) we didn't have such a marriage booklet so each time a child was born dh had to take a small note with him to remind him of the dates of birth of the other kids and with my date of birth on it.

My dh is TERRIBLE at dates of birth and a great hit at our dinner table is always if the kids suddenly ask their dad - 'when is my birthday?'. You see him start talking about something else to distract the kids but all the while you can almost literally see his brain churning.

OK now what happened that is really hilarious in our family.

Our 5th child was born. Dh goes to the town hall to register her birth, note in hand with all the dates of birth of the other kids and my date of birth - this had to be told each time because it was before the computer era and we moved around a lot.

Everything is going well, dh was feeling very pleased with himself until the official suddenly asks, sir what is your date of birth?

He couldn't for the life of him remember his date of birth. After a while, he called home and asked me.

Further he is great with a LOT of things but as he says, he has me for all this kind of stuff.

(Of course I got the blame for not writing down his date of birth on the note that he took with him.)

That is funny

We have three birthday sin January all with in about a week of each other. Once at the pharmacy I had to update the files and lists everyone birthday. I rattled on a birthday and the lady started giggling and said "So your HUSBAND is 12 years old"

Opps wrong birthday

Hubby is better with all numbers than me he remembers everyone's birthday and our wedding anniversary. He is always correcting me on how long we have been married.

[PlainCash4]

I should read this whenever i am feeling down

[Imarachne]

Its cause we women take care of them !! LOL !

[peanut]

Priceless! Gotta show this to DH.

[CrazyHomemaker]

This is soooo true! There are even more items to the list! LOL!!!

[TeaSeaBee]

Thanks for posting this, it's so true and so funny!!! LOL