Feeling a little stressed

**BlissMommy** · 10-31-2011, 12:30 AM

My husband and I have recently moved to a small town and we are working on rebuilding our credit and buying a house in a year's time. I am in graduate school and he is attempting to start a business. We have five children, I'm a stay at home mom right now and he works. I get child support from my ex husband and will be working by next December. His father recently got into a sober living home and has no income. We put him on our cell phone plan and every now and then we give him money. We have to buy his bus pass as well. It is all starting to add up. My husband's nephew just moved in with us this past week as well, now he wants us to buy him clothes and a bed to sleep on in our home. He is moving into our baby daughter's room. I'm not overly thrilled about this. He's currently not in school and I have to find him a GED program, etc. We have 5 children altogether of our own and I'm starting to really resent having to put out extra money on his family. My husband's checks barely pay his truck payment and basics for our daughter. So, essentially this extra money comes from me. I feel like my husband isn't looking how this is all stretching our resources. Now, my husband is going to be working some extra hours, but that leaves me at home MORE. I like our nephew, but I don't know him that well. I've been hiding in my bedroom all weekend. I just don't know how to balance it all right now.

**Debbie-cat** · 10-31-2011, 12:35 AM

What does your husband say about all this?? Sounds like you need go sit down and talk to him about your situation and how it is tough for just you, him and the kids let alone the nephew and Dad. Hugs to you. I hope your DH will listen and see how you feel.

**Ceashels** · 10-31-2011, 07:59 AM

Nephew needs to be finding work and buying his own clothes and HIS OWN GED program. If he is old enough to not be in school (for what ever reason) he's got to be old enough to start working.

But you MUST sit down with your husband to let him see how this extended family financial situation is going to have short term and long term ripples on your own family's financial well being.

**peanut** · 10-31-2011, 10:20 AM

This is not a good situation, but you know that. You must talk to your hubby about it. Take him numbers to show him. Talk about your concerns re: the living situation.

I would definitely not have the nephew in the room with your baby daughter. He can sleep on the couch in the family room (if you have one). Alternatively, take your baby daughter into your room with you. If he's a teenager or young man you need to assert authority immediately. It's like having an overgrown puppy in the house (sorry guys). My SIL lived with us for a semester of university and was very intimidating. I simply set the ground rules and watched him squiggle so bad he decided to move out. Which made us all happy. Young men that age need to be on their own really.

I agree with Ceashels. If he's old enough to get a GED, he's old enough to be working somewhere to earn the money for the things he needs. These should not come from your pocket...unless there are extenuating circumstances we know nothing about (like he's just come in off the streets...). How small is your town? Is he likely to find work there? Does he have any marketable skills/talents? He can always deliver the paper/flyers? Or work at the grocery store?

**BlissMommy** · 10-31-2011, 04:39 PM

I talked to hubby about it this morning and we both agreed he needs to get a job and start looking at the GED program. I looked it up for him now he has to call and such. Right now he's sleeping on the couch and we are just gonna get a pull out sofa for the front room(we had planned on couches anyways) and he will sleep out there. TY for the good advice from everyone. I need to follow it. We have to deal with the Dad situation next.