Dealing with adults acting like four year olds

**shoiji** · 11-08-2011, 06:24 PM

Well, am just about at my limit of dealing with adults who act like four year olds. Just need to get it off my chest. Just tired of listening to their pity parties and "I am not going to do that" to any type of resolution, or temper tantrums. Sure when you get into your own sorrow it is hard to see the light. Just seems right now that no matter how far I try to distance yourself from it someone else comes along.

Any suggestions on how to deal with the adult four year olds would greatly be appreciated.

**mh3rdwheel** · 11-08-2011, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by shoiji

Well, am just about at my limit of dealing with adults who act like four year olds. Just need to get it off my chest. Just tired of listening to their pity parties and "I am not going to do that" to any type of resolution, or temper tantrums. Sure when you get into your own sorrow it is hard to see the light. Just seems right now that no matter how far I try to distance yourself from it someone else comes along.

Any suggestions on how to deal with the adult four year olds would greatly be appreciated.

Every holiday my mom and my aunt (her sister) would get into a fight and start acting like 2 year olds, stomping off and walking miles home. I learned to ignore them, and act like they never had a tamtrum.

**Spirit Deer** · 11-08-2011, 06:45 PM

Don't let it become your problem.

**Laney** · 11-08-2011, 07:56 PM

my brother is like this. cut him out of my life completely 2 years ago, it's been the best 2 years of my life

**frugalwarrior2** · 11-08-2011, 09:52 PM

Perfect timing!
DH has lost it for 2 days now? Pouting,tantrums,silent treatment and stalking off.
What wrong? nothing Are you mad at something I did? no
Joy suckers one and all!!!!!!

Currently he is mad because I said the clotheshe's wearing smell like the musty bsmt. And that he should pob. bring them up quicker. I am clearly evil?? Off he stomps to the bsmt,not taking any of the steak and potatoes I made?? After 25 years all I can say is-more for me.

**DaveP** · 11-08-2011, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by Laney

my brother is like this. cut him out of my life completely 2 years ago, it's been the best 2 years of my life

As is my sister She's 38 and it's as if she never aged past the age of 15 in regards to emotional maturity. She's in constant conflict with several people at any given time because she has the belief that she is always right about everything and that she has the absolute right to attack the other person on that basis. She's lost jobs, alienated family members, been told by our longtime family doctor to see someone else, attacked my father's wife (He's a widower}, had and has constant disputes with neighbors that have involved police and restraining orders. And has verbally and physically attacked me a number of times including in front of my kids. Oddly enough, it's always the other person's fault. She must have very bad luck with the people she meets.

Normal people aren't in a state of constant conflict and understand that there is give and take in adult relationships. Sure others annoy you from time to time but you let it go, just as they do with the things we do that annoy them. It's how adults interact. But she never grew up. And the sad thing is that she's otherwise intelligent.

I keep her at arms length now for the sake of my wife (whom she's attacked mercilessly in the past) and for the sake of my kids who have seen things they shouldn't see and heard things they shouldn't hear. I haven't cut ties completely for the sake of my Dad (68) - he doesn't need the stress. I hope he lives many years but when the day comes that he does pass I will cut ties with her as sad as that is.

Thanks all for letting me vent and rant.

**2ndGenGranola** · 11-09-2011, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by shoiji

Just seems right now that no matter how far I try to distance yourself from it someone else comes along.

Any suggestions on how to deal with the adult four year olds would greatly be appreciated.

Evaluate why these types are attracted to you then do something about it.

I was always told if U have trouble with person A, B, C, D, E, F and G the common denominator is U.

You may need to change how you respond. You may have to evaluate your body language. You may have to evaluate your own conversation. There is something that is attracting them.

**frugalfranny** · 11-09-2011, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by Spirit Deer

Don't let it become your problem.

Yep!!!

And if it is someone you HAVE to deal with........learn to 'pick your fights'..........other than that.........ask yourself...

If this what I think I deserve? If not, what are you going to do about it?

(I have been doing a lot of this lately with a whining, power hungry sister and an estate.)

**shoiji** · 11-09-2011, 05:21 PM

You make a good point 2GenGranola. Will start limiting how much I listen to their problems. When they talk about not having any money will just say what a shame. No more feeling guilty when I say no to requests for money!

**Libby** · 11-09-2011, 05:30 PM

I was thinking that there are two options:
#1 - inform them that they're acting childish
#2 - cut them out of your life or only deal with them when they're not acting childish.

Both options, easier said then done.

**pinecone** · 11-09-2011, 07:07 PM

I like this sentiment:
David J. Pollay's Blog: David J. Pollay's "The Law of The Garbage Truck?"

Remember, you can't control others but you can control how you react. Good luck. ((( )))

piney