Looks like Mom is moving in

**BlissMommy** · 11-13-2011, 07:37 PM

Well, it looks like my Mom will be moving in with hubby, I, and the kiddos. She just called me and after talking with my brother it looks like she is on board with the plan. I now have to look for a 5 bedroom house to rent for our family. We will be going from 7 to 8 family members. My brother, his gf, and their daughter just aren't in a place financially to make it work with my Mom moving in with them. I'm trying to look at the positives, such as my Mom will be here with the kids when I'm not(I start my internship in a year, I'm in grad school right now). Plus, she will be pitching in a small amount to help with the rent. Any bit is appreciated. The good news is that it will leave her with no stress anymore figuring out how to stretch things. Please pray for us. We will definately need the guidance.

**Libby** · 11-13-2011, 08:10 PM

Thats great news!

Just have patience in getting re-acquainted in living with your mom again and know that there will be friction as you all adjust.

**Missourimom** · 11-13-2011, 10:16 PM

My MIL has lived with us for close to 9 years. There have been times she drove me crazy (and I'm sure I drive her crazy too,) but it has been a blessing since I started working again. I honestly don't know how I'd work this many hours without her help and not turn into a crabby stressed out witch.

The best tip I can give is for her to mind her own business and not get into your affairs and my MIL has been wonderful about that. I hope things go well for your family.

**Debbie-cat** · 11-13-2011, 10:44 PM

I think that's wonderful! She will come to be a great help. Just remember it will take time for adjustment for everyone. Good luck!

**peanut** · 11-14-2011, 09:40 AM

I grew up with my grandmother living with us 10 months of the year, and I've had my grown and married children living with me. I think it is very kind, generous, and brave of you to do this. I also think it would be wise to make sure she has space that is her space alone. Not just a bedroom, but a bit of a seating area too. So she can go away when she's had enough and just veg out and chill out. You need to be able to separate yourselves a bit.

If you're looking for a 5 bedroom house, maybe look for one with a separate basement rental (if she can handle that), or a large bedroom she can use for sleeping and seating. It takes the patience of Job to live with a young family once you've gone through that stage yourself. You need space...

Sigh...and so do you, the young family. When DD#1 lived here it was not good. SIL was quite verbally aggressive and difficult to live with. We gave them the basement, but he couldn't handle it. He wanted access to the whole house. I ended up feeling trapped in my bedroom and upstairs on the second floor all day. He and I just didn't get along. It was not good.

Make SURE you set any ground rules early. And that includes parenting ground rules.

this is sounding kind of negative. I actually have fond memories of my grandmother living with us. One reason I thought it might be okay with DD#1 and SIL. But they were definitely two ends of the spectrum! Hope you are blessed by having your mom with you.

**shoiji** · 11-14-2011, 12:54 PM

You could also sit down with your mother to discuss how the living arrangements will be handled. That you need your mother to support what you and your husband decide on raising your children. That type of thing. That way everything is out in the open.

Also make sure that your mother can also have her private life. Encourage her to meet new people, go to senior center if she is interested, signup for anything she might be interested in.

It will probably be a little difficult at first but if your keep everything out in the open it will make things easier. Don't forget that it will be a challenge on her also.