Christmas expectations!

[chowder]

I have been reading the posts from folks griping about what to buy for their spouse and actually getting pissed off at their spouses over Christmas gifts.
Wow,this just shows the meaning of Christmas is so commercialized,it is more of a sad time than happy for most.
I always said that Christmas is about family,being together,laughing together and all around just enjoying each other's company and being grateful for what you have.
My husband and I were never into giving gifts to each other.We more were into enjoying life together all year.At Christmas we usually bought something together that we both needed, usually for the house.
This year,myself ,my kids and Grandkids will have to be without the best part of our Christmas,my husband,their father and Grandfather.
See, the love of my life for 43 years, pasted away in Oct.He was on a waiting list for 3 months waiting for by-pass surgery.Thats right,3 weeks before the operation he passed in his sleep.
All I can say to folks who are stressing out about buying for people who are impossible to buy for is,you have no idea what impossible means.
So when making a gift list for each other remember to start with this,be with each other,love each other,enjoy each other and be good to each other(no money required)
Oh I so wish I still had that luxury in life.

[ktsmama]

I am very sorry to hear about your husband.

[OOwl]

Thank you for your words of wisdom, as much as it it pains you to have to write them for the sadness you and your family will endure this first Christmas without your beloved husband, father, grandfather. Sounds like you had a wonderful life together. I offer prayers for healing your heart, where the pain will melt away into beautiful memories.

[McD]

I am also sorry to hear about the stress and sorrow that you are experiencing.

I will say, however, that it isn't fair or realistic to expect everyone's holidays or experience to be what yours are like or have been like. Just because their concern/stress/issue may seem trivial to you, it is obviously of importance to them. I remember hearing friends complain about their husband being away for two weeks while mine was in Iraq. I would have KILLED for Zac to just be away for two weeks instead of missing a year of our son's life. But the fact that my husband was in Iraq didn't make it any easier for the friend to deal with the fact that her husband was gone for two weeks. People have different concerns, different values, different mindsets. And that is okay.

[oheoh's momma]

I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. My personal problems are childish but they are mine and real. I lost my mother 4 years ago to cancer and my husband was unemployed. My son had a serious injury and almost died during that time and I had a missing person in my family (immediate) all at the same time. everyone still wanted and deserved a little something. the gifts may not seem to be important they are because if u were not able to give nothing it would be a sad day.
I would truly fee l the most sorry for that. and I pray that a little Christmas joy can be spread over the poorest of the poor for their holiday to be merrier. YES I am poor but I still do for charities for Christmas.

[oheoh's momma]

Sorry to hijack I just feel everyone's problems are important. i REALLY AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS LOST MY FIRST HUSBAND 13 YEARS . dang cat stepped on keyboard .lol

[imagine]

My mom says the first Christmas after my dad died was the hardest.

She hung a remembrance ornament on the tree The funeral home sold or gave not sure which and glass angel with his name and years. She hangs these up every year.

Friends gave her remembrance ones with poems like.

"So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus this year."

I made her pillows out of my father's old wool coat.

Just because he wasn't physically with us doesn't mean he wasn't with us. He was with us in our thoughts and memories, still a part of our traditions, just new traditions.

Hugs to you (((Hugs)) Be gentle with yourself and those around you this Christmas.

[frugal is fun]

Chowder I'm so truly sorry for the loss of your husband.

I hope that you are able to find some happiness and comfort in the family members you still have and the memories you share of your family.

[Debbie-cat]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband chowder. I agree ... Being with those you love at Christmas is the most important gift of all.

[HappyMama]

I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for your family. Hugs and Blessings to you.

[mamachop]

I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's passing Chowder! Our families and loved ones truly are what matter most!

[dancemommy]

I'm so sorry for your loss- I understand why it would be difficult to read posts like that and know you are probably a little fragile right now.

Not to be at all insensitive and please excuse my ignorance....but why was there such a long waiting list for bypass surgery? I am so afraid of socialized medicine. I know people who have had bypass surgery immediately when it was needed. Did it require a transplant?

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure this time of year is going to be challenging. My husband and I usually don't get each other anything. I have no expectations. I just like to have a nice Christmas for our kids- I'd rather the money go there right now.

[BlissMommy]

I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for the reminder of what Christmas is supposed to be about.

[jacqueline]

.
Just because he wasn't physically with us doesn't mean he wasn't with us. He was with us in our thoughts and memories, still a part of our traditions, just new traditions.

I'm so sorry chowder. imagine i think that's a wonderful way to be able to go on. i hope there are new traditions for you chowder that you will come to cherish and that you find a way to keep your old traditions and your precious hubby in your heart & thoughts at Christmas.
sending a hug to you

[Sophiasmama]

Hugs to you!!!!!