Made my daughter happy

**Trishagirl** · 12-11-2011, 10:00 PM

Well that is great news for all if he is the bio father of her! I sure hope so for you all! Congrats!

**MaryCarney** · 12-11-2011, 11:02 PM

That's terrific - I hope it all goes well for you, all three of you!

**oheoh's momma** · 12-11-2011, 11:15 PM

Hugs to u this was very brave of u. Now u have to share her.. I am very proud of u. I hope this turns out to be a wonderful thing for u both.

**Syn D** · 12-12-2011, 01:05 AM

I've been putting my 26 yr old daughter off for 4 yrs. One night a week ago I caved in and found him for her.

I am still regretting it. My ex-husband is far from a man and doesn't deserve my daughter (also had her at 17) and grandson in his life. My hubby and I are just hoping we raised her smart enough so she sees through him quickly.

I can't see how someone would have interest in someone that willingly had nothing to do with her for 24 yrs..

In their first talk he brought up that he is in $55,000 debt in child support and asked her if her mom was one of those getting it and how much do I get. (now why would that need to come up in the first conversation in 24 yrs.?) I get a piddly $45 a month and that started 2 yrs ago after 19 yrs. of not getting anything. Knowing him, he was prob gonna ask her to ask me to cancel it. She told him, I don't know how much she gets and that is between the state you owe it through and her.

I got mad tonight cos' I saw she added his sister to her facebook. My concern is, she has been feeling this piece missing for years and now she has the connection, she might get blind sided. They are users, thief, and cons.

**LynnLC** · 12-12-2011, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by stephanieg

I made my 14 year old daughter Taylor happy today and it was her early christmas present.For 2 years she has been asking me where her bio father is.I basically told her I did not know at the time.I finally figured this out,it is an ex boyfriend of mine and we got in touch this afternoon.I admit my ex and I did some things we shouldn't have done when we were teens,having sex was one.I paid the price for it,finding out I was pregnant with her when I was 17 years old and my ex left after finding out I was pregnant.Taylor did react very well and spoke to him on the phone,meets him for the first time Tuesday night.A paternity test is going to be done and my ex is going to step up if he is the bio father being in her life.

Again, I am confused. Did you just figure out who her dad is? Has he been gone all these years? I would be VERY cautious as to him entering/rentering her life. You state he left you when he found out you were pregnant...I would be very worried as to his character etc...

**LynnLC** · 12-12-2011, 07:58 PM

Originally Posted by stephanieg

I knew right away,My ex and I had unprotected sex and my ex was being a coward leaving me right after finding out I was pregnant.I did have sex with other guys,it was protected with them wearing a condom.My ex had a list and was regreting leaving me after find out I was pregnant when I was 17 and and he was 16 at the time.

A list? A list of what kind?

**Sophiasmama** · 12-12-2011, 08:35 PM

I'm confused...

**Nishu** · 12-12-2011, 09:25 PM

I would wait until paternity test comes back before introducing the two. IIRC you just got engaged and that's going to be a lot for Taylor to deal with already. (How does Troy feel about all this?) Don't want to throw too much at her at once.

I once spent an entire afternoon watching Maury, so I consider myself an expert on such things.

**LynnLC** · 12-12-2011, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by Nishu

I once spent an entire afternoon watching Maury, so I consider myself an expert on such things.

Bwahahahahahaha. I just spit coffee everywhere.

**JustMegan79** · 12-12-2011, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by Nishu

I would wait until paternity test comes back before introducing the two. IIRC you just got engaged and that's going to be a lot for Taylor to deal with already. (How does Troy feel about all this?) Don't want to throw too much at her at once.

I once spent an entire afternoon watching Maury, so I consider myself an expert on such things.

I didn't get the memo, who is Troy?

**Nishu** · 12-12-2011, 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by JustMegan79

I didn't get the memo, who is Troy?

I do believe it's her fiancé.

**Greebo** · 12-13-2011, 08:34 AM

Ladies and gentlemen, if I can have your attention for a moment please.

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**Syn D** · 12-13-2011, 08:00 PM

Let me know how the Tuesday night meet goes.

**LynnLC** · 12-14-2011, 09:16 AM

JMHO but I'm just going to say it- Why oh why is a DNA test being done after she met him? You are risking disappointing/confusing a 14 year old not to mention an embarrassing situation for yourself. Birth control is not 100% effective in any situation. Do you have a plan if this dude turns out not to be her bio father?

Ugh, Lynn....Why am I even going here? Lol.

**Syn D** · 12-17-2011, 02:21 AM

At least he wanted to meet her in person.

My ex told my daughter "we'll meet in the future, I don't wanna rush you". Which in our terms means "I'm don't want you to see that what I tell you are all lies, so I'm gonna put you off". In their first conversation, I had to correct some lies he told her (why he never contacted her, about our marriage, how many kids he really has, etc.)

Well, for her, meeting is the final thing, so if he doesn't do it before the next time I go to Iowa, she will be showing up at his door, I will take her. No way am I gonna let him ignore her for 24 yrs. and help her by finding him, just to have him call the shots!!

She is in no way looking for a relationship, she just wants questions answered and closer. After 24 yrs. She deserves it and I will make sure she gets it..

Your daughter will be fine as long as she has you for support and you make sure she doesn't have high expectations on the out come of this. My hubby and I have always been open and honest to our daughter about my ex.

As I tell people, never judge someone in this situation, even if you've been in it yourself, everyone deals with things differently and not every relationship is the same. Example on mine - I married my ex as an escape not for love, but If I didn't marry him, I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter, the grandson I love dearly, and the man I have been in love with for almost 23 yrs..