Frugal Fatigue

[oheoh's momma]

Is anyone else fighting frugal fatigue? for me I am fighting 2 people, the lights are always left one, grandma leaves the water running, tvs and radios on. The heat was set on 75......
I am tired of fighting a losing battle she does not realize we can't pay these bills. I threw a load of bad whites which I always hang in the dryer then about 10 mins. later I went and hung them..
I am really happy my shopping is done and I have to mail 1 package to Hawaii and I am done. There will be money to pay for everything so I am not worried about that. I feel like I am a stay at home wife it is my job to take care of the house and finances. I also feel like it is my job to help take care of grandma .
I try to reduce the amount going out. This is supposed to be easier. It was with 4 kids they knew but can not get grandma on board..
Gonna put those lock boxes on the heat, put night lights up so maybe she can see....

[dcompton]

It's hard to keep on when it feels like such an uphill battle. I lived with an elderly woman for some months and the heat was always a battle. When it was at 75, she would feel really cold. Aside from the cost, I would be wilting at temps that were just comfortable for her. She also may not understand the need to keep lights, tv off, or may simply not remember. But whatever the cause, from legitimate reasons all the way down to sheer cussedness - and I have no idea what her situation really is - it's a wearing struggle.

Just do your best, and take some down time out of the fray for yourself if it's possible at all.

[alotofgooddeals]

it's so very frustrating...to a point he does the laundry which i really do appreciate because he is home all day and i am working....but i so wish he would hang it up to dry...i have a rack...i even told him to just do the laundry and leave it in the dryer and when i get home i will hang them but he throws them in the dryer anyway....he goes down the hall he turns the light on...he comes back down the hall....he forgets to shut it off....he goes into the kitchen turns the lights on comes out of the kitchen forgets to shut the light off....he washes dishes one dish at a time and waste so much water.....it drives me nuts....however people have told me to let it go as in the big scheme of things its not worth the stress.....but he is the first to wonder why the bill is so high....ugh!

[Contrary Housewife]

It is rough sometimes when you have to watch every penny and it seems like you are the only one who cares. I allow myself small indulgences, like a good bar of chocolate, every now and then.

[krbshappy71]

I am SERIOUSLY FRUGAL FATIGUED. Thank you for sharing.

I am newly engaged AND just found out I have my first Grand Baby due in April. I WANT TO SHOP AND SPEND AND ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST.

I want to completely blow my budget out of the water. I want to plan a wedding dinner at my parents, totally doll up the house and table for it. (we are not doing an actual wedding, just a dinner afterwards with family)

I WANT TO BUY FOR THE GRANDBABY-TO-BE!!!! NOW!!!!!

But I wont. I wont. I wont. I will not use these celebrations to undo all my hard work.

We must hold strong, Oheoh'sMomma, because we were NOT happy before we started Frugal-izing or we wouldn't have started being frugal. We started either out of necessity or choice but either way we started for a reason, we cannot stop yet.

It will get better, it has to.

[Incognito]

Unplug all of the unnecessary plugs, so you don't have 'phantom energy loss'.
Then place furniture in front of those plugs or use plug-stoppers; and people won't be plugging into them so easily anymore. Only move the furniture away from the plug at designated-use times, and afterwards remove the cord from the plug, and put the furniture back in front of the plug.

Grandma is cold due to aging & poor circulation, so the only thing you can do is give her warmer clothing to wear...fleece sets, turtlenecks, sweaters, warm socks, pile-lined slippers/booties, cushions and a lapghan on her chair, area mats where she sits most often, an extra blanket on her bed. When she's more comfortable, you can turn down the heat and hopefully it will stay down.

[frugalwarrior2]

Our electric dropped about 70. a month when Ds left for college. Well he's back for a month. 3 days and its already an issue.

[hlwilson07]

I was having this issue with hubbs so I broke down how much everything cost - like 1 light bulb cost us 5 cents to have on for 12 hours. Now that sounds cheap untill you start counting up the lights. We have 15 light bulbs downstairs and it's not odd for hubbs to have all on at the same time (even though he's not all the rooms at 1 time or even moving back and forth) so those 15 lights will cost us .75 cents for 12 hours or 23.25 to run 12 hours a day all month. It adds up really quickly. You can use this site http://michaelbluejay.com/electricity/howmuch.html
to figure out how much all your stuff costs to use. It was a great eye opener for hubbs and for me. HTH

[shoiji]

I get fatigued at times. Usually will sit back and take a look at all I have. When it gets really bad will take $10 and head to the thriftstore.

Hang in there. Will probably take awhile to get in a routine with you and grandmother. Hopefully you two will reach a happy medium.

[gmarie]

Since DH quit his job, he is home everyday. TV is on all day, heat on, lights on, cooking all the time. I'm not complaining about the food, and of course it's nice to see him for more than the usual 5 mins a day, but enough is enough. Our 2 month electricity bill will be out right around Christmas, and I am scared!

[mndtrp]

If you aren't concerned about the health issues, a heating blanket might allow you to keep Grandma warm, but keep the heat lower. A space heater is also another option, heating the one room she is in at a time.

If every light is being left on, get rid of some of the lights. My house had something like 15 lights in the basement, where we spend most of our time. I unscrewed half of them, and still have plenty of light to see by.

As far as the dryer, I imagine your only options revolve around you doing all the laundry, or just accepting that it's not going to be done how you would like. I suppose you could unplug the dryer.

[Mamaw]

I am right there with you. Sometimes it is very hard to keep trying to get others on board. My Mom is always cold due to her age. I found that a heated blanket plus a heated mattress pad helps alot. Of course you need to control the heat level to avoid burns, etc. I have also used the heated rice pads to tuck under a blanket by the feet to warm up a bit. A cup of warm tea or cocoa seems to mentally soothe the chills also.
On a personal note, I am finding it difficult not to just give in and give up. DH keeps finding things he wants to buy, DD has no clue how to be frugal and I am just dog tired. But.....keep your eye on the prize, think of some thing you want to save for and remember being frugal lets us trade for other things we do want....hugs

[valerian]

I fight this battle with dh and the kids every day! They leave lights on all over the house and tvs also. The kids will open the refridgerator door and stand there and stare into it hoping something good will jump out. Dh leaves the water running while he brushes his teeth which really bugs me 'cause my parents taught me as a child not to do that...my Dad is very frugal!

[mauimagic]

After all this time, isn't it funny how some people still don't get it?

How about......
...........lower wattage bulbs where ever they are left on?
........... for older people, make sure that their feet are warm - always and as for their hands - how about some fingerless gloves?

I'm for unplugging the dryer and anything else that's causing a problem - if others are too lazy to turn things off, they'll probably be too lazy to figure out that things ae now unplugged?

....and one other thing - when things have really gotten too much for me to handle - I scream 'I quit' at the top of my lungs and feel much better!!

[laura-n-sasha]

Is anyone else fighting frugal fatigue? for me I am fighting 2 people, the lights are always left one, grandma leaves the water running, tvs and radios on. The heat was set on 75......
I am tired of fighting a losing battle she does not realize we can't pay these bills. I threw a load of bad whites which I always hang in the dryer then about 10 mins. later I went and hung them..
I am really happy my shopping is done and I have to mail 1 package to Hawaii and I am done. There will be money to pay for everything so I am not worried about that. I feel like I am a stay at home wife it is my job to take care of the house and finances. I also feel like it is my job to help take care of grandma .
I try to reduce the amount going out. This is supposed to be easier. It was with 4 kids they knew but can not get grandma on board..
Gonna put those lock boxes on the heat, put night lights up so maybe she can see....

For everyone:


OP - your grandma or his? It doesn't really make a difference, but in some ways it does.

for everyone that has folks that are resisting being frugal, what I found before I got my DH on board with this was total honesty.

I sat him down and explained why I though being frugal was important to me. I showed him my goals and ambitions to lead a more frugal but also more simplistic lifestyle. I asked him to read Your Money or Your Life so that he could understand that it was not just about saving money, but also about making a lifestyle change that would be better for the both of us.
He came on board very soon after that.

You can learn from this experience by doing just a few things. Instead of Fighting, have a family conference. And it means that Everyone that lives in the house has to be at the conference, no TV on, no music, just get some snacks and drinks together and have a family meeting.
Bring the bills out: the electricity bill, the water bill, the heating bills, the grocery slips, etc.
Show how much "we" as a family are spending each month based on lights, water, heater, etc being on.
Show how much "we" as a family could save by turning off the lights, water, heater.
Talk to them about money. Tell them, this is what we bring in each month. Even with children, they need to understand how much things cost. So every time you turn on x item, it costs us y dollars.

Do not be accusatory. Speak calmly, show examples, have facts to back you up. Ask for help.

Try to make it a game if you want, saying something like, For every light or tv left on when you are not in the room, you owe the family $0.05 (or however much it costs per kWh per item, see link above). Put it into a jar and the one that turns off the most lights, TV, turns off the water, etc. gets the money each month.

To the OP, It also sounds like Granny Fatigue as well. It is hard taking care of an older relative, and sometimes you need a break. Ask for breaks.

My Mom took care of my Father's Mother and then when she passed away, she took care of her Mother in our house. It was very rough for her, but at least she got some help, a person that came in during the day to engage her (the Mothers) in activities, fed, washed, clothed her as necessary (she had broken her hip and was in a wheelchair most of the time) (That was BOTH of my grandmothers!).

If there are other family members around that can help out, ask for help. Even if it is just for a couple of hours a day, so that you can get out of the house and do errands or even take some time for yourself, I would strongly suggest it.

I'm rooting for you.