going to be visiting my parents

**Dutchie** · 12-19-2011, 08:02 AM

On Jan 14th I will be going to visit my parents in Scotland.

I call them almost every day and speak and my father is always cheerful and there is no difference in his voice.

My mom has said a few times that he is getting really thin and weak and she personally thinks that he doesn't have much longer to live. He eats like a mouse.
A couple of months ago she sent a photo of them both and he looked fine so I thought that she was exaggerating things a bit especially since the drs can't find anything exactly wrong with him.

Yesterday my eldest son was here and we were talking about my parents and what my mom had said. He said that he had a couple of photos on his phone from last week when he was there.

I took one look at the photos and burst into tears.
I have posted a couple of these photos of my father on facebook.

We don't have an opportunity to get over there before Jan 14th and my only hope is that he will still be there when we get there.

However I am very aware that that will probably be the last time that I see him alive and it is tearing me apart.

**Labontet** · 12-19-2011, 08:36 AM

I am sorry to hear this Avril. If God allows it, you will be able to see and be with your dad.
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers at this time.

May God Bless you all.

**OOwl** · 12-19-2011, 08:41 AM

My heart hurts for you. I'm currently cherishing every extra day with a beloved family member that isn't well at all. It's hard not to cry every time I am with him, knowing that our time together grows very short now. Enjoy your time with father. I hope you're wrong, though, and you have many, many holidays to spend together in the future.

**Ceashels** · 12-19-2011, 08:56 AM

So many hugs to you.

**VanVivCam** · 12-19-2011, 09:21 AM

Bless your heart. I hope you get to see your father.

**pinetree** · 12-19-2011, 01:28 PM

I am so sorry, It's really hard seeing someone you love slipping away. Take lots of pictures of you and him together, trust me you will treasure them forever. Praying you get to spend some special time together.

**Sophiasmama** · 12-19-2011, 02:24 PM

I'm so sorry to read that...Hope you have a wonderful visit and make some fabulous memories.HUGS!

**mauimagic** · 12-19-2011, 03:39 PM

Oh sweetheart - these times are so hard it can make your heart actually ache to think of them. Crying is a wonderful gift that women have and use to cleanse ourselves when in pain. Sending prayers, hugs and aloha to you and yours throughout this holiday season and especially during your visit with your parents. Please keep in touch.

**Mamaw** · 12-20-2011, 09:37 AM

I am so very sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless

**cab54** · 12-20-2011, 10:12 AM

I'm so sorry your father is doing so poorly. I hope you are able to have a wonderful visit with him.

**Libby** · 12-20-2011, 11:35 AM

Im sorry to hear this

When you do go, spend the time you do have together just talking. Not doing anything, going anywhere, visiting with others at your parents - try to make it YOUR QT with dad. Reflect back on the good and bad times, maybe acknowledge the mistakes of your past - not necessary apologize for them though. I know it sounds cheesy but make peace with yourself so that when the day comes that your dad isn't there with you physically, you will have no regrets of not being able to say that 'one last thing'. A lot of people who lose a loved one always have that regret of not being able to say what they really wanted to or doing something they really wanted to with that person.

On the other hand, I do hope they find out what is ailing him and that January won't be your last visit.

*hugs*

**jas** · 12-20-2011, 11:45 AM

So sorry to hear that your father is not doing well. It can't be easy having to wait till the 14th to be able to go see him in person.

Hugs to you.

**Dutchie** · 12-20-2011, 11:54 AM

Originally Posted by Libby

Im sorry to hear this

When you do go, spend the time you do have together just talking. Not doing anything, going anywhere, visiting with others at your parents - try to make it YOUR QT with dad. Reflect back on the good and bad times, maybe acknowledge the mistakes of your past - not necessary apologize for them though. I know it sounds cheesy but make peace with yourself so that when the day comes that your dad isn't there with you physically, you will have no regrets of not being able to say that 'one last thing'. A lot of people who lose a loved one always have that regret of not being able to say what they really wanted to or doing something they really wanted to with that person.

On the other hand, I do hope they find out what is ailing him and that January won't be your last visit.

*hugs*

For some reason or another Libby, you manage to read my mind every time.

And as Jas said in her post, it is killing me not being able to go there before Jan 14th.

I literally cannot get him out of my head.

As you said Libby, I really need to sit down with him and talk with him and - as you say - get everything said from my heart and put my arms around him and tell him I love him. It is something I don't say enough to him.

He has been to every dr there is and has been turned inside out.
He does have osteoporosis in his spine which gives a lot of pain and he has some heart trouble.
Trouble is - he is 85 and is more or less just worn out. He still works every day in his own little mom and pop candy store (together with my mom) and he will not hear about stopping.
As he says, if he stops, he will die.

**mauimagic** · 12-20-2011, 03:27 PM

Does he know that you are coming to visit? Hope so, how wonderful for him to have your visit to look forward to. Please remember to take pictures too.