to spend or save?

[rosey7415]

i have been driving myself crazy about this and think i could use some help and advise. i was going to put this in 3rd agers due to most of us older would probably be more inclined to be thinking about this.........but i want everyone's opinion.

now this site is all about saving and paying down debt. that is what i have been all about all my life so far. now i am thinking about changing my way of thinking due to my age. let me explain......

up until the last 2 years my dh and i have been bill free with the exception of a less than 2,000. ongoing credit card that we rose and paid off continuously. i should clarify....of course we still have electric, gas, phone and routine expenses that we all have. when ma came to live with me we went on a big splurge with putting in a stampled concrete patio and a total redo of our bathroom so that it is handicapped accessible. i do not regret that at all. but i was the type that usually did one project at a time and paid it off before starting another. with ma being here we rushed through and now have a little debt. ok.

i am sitting on a modest nestegg. when dh and i leave this earth we want to leave our house to our three children to divide as well as all of our possessions.
saying that.....i don't want to leave our nestegg to them, i want us to enjoy it. we are in the autumn of our lives. i am 60 and dh is 66. do we enjoy and spend down some of it now? recently we went and bought an entertainment center and a nice leather recliner for 2kish. i had had previous chair and e.center for over 20 years. see what i mean about being frugal??? lol

i am looking at this in 2 different ways. 1. we both have some pretty big medical conditions as we are ageing. i am afraid that i will not be able to walk for my future. dh will probably have to be on oxygen with his copd getting so bad. so i am thinking about vacationing while we still can manuever around. and i am thinking if i save the $$ what are our needs going to be at 70-75?

2. i have heard horror stories from the previous generation where they saved and scrimped to have savings then had to go to a nursing home and have all their savings wiped out to a nursing home. i had asked my favorite aunt before she took ill what she would have done different in life if she had to do it over again. she said i would have spent money on what i wanted instead of scrimping......i would have enjoyed it then. she had no needs or wants later in her life. towards the end, she would just pass out money to her nieces. she had a little account for me and my sister as we stayed in her life until the end. the aunt that was her executor got all of her money. just an example.

so what do you all think???? my problem is that i am so engrained to be frugal that spending is tough for me. i feely guilty when i spend. groan.....help!

[Spirit Deer]

I hope to die with two nickels in my pocket and nothing else. Of course it most likely won't work out that way, but we do plan to spend down our assets as we get older.

We couldn't afford to travel when our kids were growing up. We are making up for lost time now. Sometimes we can't pay cash for the trips we take. We do not regret that at all.

My mom and dad were waiting for retirement to travel. They had big plans and talked often about where they'd go and all the fun they'd have, once they reached that magic age. But my dad died suddenly at the age of 52. It's too bad they didn't spend some money doing the things they looked forward to. Watching all this taught my husband and I a hard, hard lesson. We're not going to put things off. We're not doing crazy spending we can't afford, but we are traveling within our means and enjoying every minute and every mile.

We don't feel we owe our kids an inheritance either. We worked hard to get what we have, and we made plenty of sacrifices raising them.

We also recognize the next ten to fifteen years will most likely be prime time when it comes to travel, assuming our health holds out that long. After that, we may not want to travel or we may not be able to. We don't want to wait that long. There is so much to see in North America and so little time.

So my vote is, if you can afford to do some of the things you'd like to, then do so. There's no point in waiting. You're not going to get younger or, most likely, healthier, so go while you can and have fun.

[bookwormpeg]

I am 64 and just retired. My husband is 59 and still working. I have a small savings that I am thinking of using to put new carpet in our house. We have other savings. I am not in the best of health and I hate our house. New carpet will make a difference. I am all for savings for dooms day but I think we need to enjoy our time on this earth. I vote for you to enjoy it.

[Sophiasmama]

My DH and I are 39 and 31...while young we have these talks about retirement and what we'd like to do...the thing is...in his family they drop dead from heart attacks at age 50...it has happened many times...and while Dh's doctor knows the family histories, he can't see the future. So we are enjoying our lives(pay for holidays in cash,while building a nest egg). In 3 weeks we leave for Maui and we are beyond excited to share this with Sophie(turns 5 next week). I say we should enjoy life, cause only God knows when our last days are. Janine

[oheoh's momma]

Enjoy your life, it is not your responsability to leave them a nest egg. It is theirs... Enjoy your life. hugs.

[FrabjousDay]

I don't need possessions, houses, or an inheritance from my parents. They have worked hard for what they have, I would like for them to enjoy their lives. And I've never understood the idea of waiting until retirement to travel...I could be hit by a bus tomorrow! Life should be enjoyed in the moment.

[hmcart]

I would say that as long as you have the frugal tendencies it will be hard for you to not keep some money which isnt a bad thing. Just like we never know if we will die young, we also dont know if we might end up being 100 yrs old so while I think you should enjoy the benefits of your hard work, it sounds like you will do it responsibly and not put yourself in a pickle if you live a little longer than you thought! Hope you have fun!

[bunnys]

I say spend it. On experiences.

I am 47. I never traveled before I was 40--couldn't afford to and still can't. Then I figured out a way to travel to Europe free by organizing student trips. I've been to Europe 5 times and am going again in the spring.

If I had plenty of money I would spend it on more travel where I didn't have to haul kids around with me--although the kids are fun.

I say spend it on experiences--like travel.

[frugalfranny]

my problem is that i am so engrained to be frugal that spending is tough for me. i feely guilty when i spend. groan.....help![/B][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

I can TOTALLY relate to that........I was the same way until I decided in my earlier years that I was missing too many opportunities to enjoy life............and I changed that!

This would be a tough call for anyone on here to answer..........

YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU!!!

My thoughts:

Why not try one 'smaller trip' to see how the health fares with it.

It might be that you won't be able to travel........or just be able to take short over night stays.
That said.........you also have to decide 'what type' of trip you will take...............there is all sorts of travel..........from total budget traveling...(which I mostly did)........to cruising where you don't have to pack and re-pack to move.

In my late 30's and early 40's I started traveling and said to hell with the budget..........as long as I got 'something' in savings each month the rest went into a 'travel pool' (already had an EF).......figured I would never get some of the opportunities again and I have not regretted it FOR ONE MINUTE!! Loved every trip I took.

I will have memories to 'sustain' me in my old age..........if nothing else........

If you 'save for the rainy day'.........but you live in a desert........have you really gained anything?

If you are comfortable with what you have, go for it.......do the
traveling that your budget AND HEALTH allow......but start slow
and small...........traveling can be stressful!!

I could give you total horror stories on nursing homes and what they cost...........but will that make your decision any easier?.........think not.

And..........like you so often hear..........you could get killed crossing the street tomorrow..............and then what?????????

[rosey7415]

i love the replys so far! i know only that i can make my own decisions i just wanted to see what others thought.

dh and i have done all we are going to do to our house. we love it the way it is. no more improvements needed. maybe a new rug here and there but not yet. we have done some vacationing already. 2x to alaska, the carribean, new orleans, etc. i want to do more, but dh is content to sit out on our deck and grow old. although, when we do go on a cruise, he does enjoy it.

more replys please......lol i am going to show dh this thread and convince him.

[frugalfranny]

Wasn't it Mark Twain that said:

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

GET OUT THERE AND DISCOVER THE REST OF THE WORLD!!!

[monkeywrangler71]

My grandparents travelled everywhere they wanted. They spent every winter in Florida, went to Europe, drove all over North America. They weren't rich, never won the lottery, never struck oil in their backyard. They just lived a very simple life that consumed a small enough percentage of their income that they were able to spend on what was important to them. For them, that important thing was travel.

My grandfather is gone, my grandmother is 95. She's still living comfortably because they always stayed below their means. She hasn't changed her curtains since they built the house in 1963, because that doesn't matter to her. But she still lights up when she talks about trips that they took decades ago.

Unless someone dreams of dumping it all in a room and rolling around in it like Scrooge McDuck, collecting money isn't the end goal. Money is a tool.

You need to decide what is the most important thing you want to do/see/achieve in life. Then look at your finances and find a way to do it in a way that just doesn't leave you completely broke.

[wanderlusting]

I don't need possessions, houses, or an inheritance from my parents. They have worked hard for what they have, I would like for them to enjoy their lives. And I've never understood the idea of waiting until retirement to travel...I could be hit by a bus tomorrow! Life should be enjoyed in the moment.

ITA- that's what I tell my parents too. Just enjoy the money they earned, it's up to me to build up my own nest egg, no one else's. I hope when they pass, they lived their lives to the fullest.

Now concerning nursing homes, have you looked into long-term care insurance? I'm not sure how expensive the payments would be in your 60's though...

ETA: While DH and I were dual income/ no kids, we did a ton of travel. I would work 60+ hours a week for two months and then we'd take a 10-15 day trip somewhere. We went to so many different countries and then spent more time in the countries that we really loved. I am so glad we did this- nothing can replace those great memories. DH's grandparents waited until they retired but weren't the most agile due to their health- so they were limited on some of the their activities and duration of their trips. It's nice that they were able to see things, but they didn't get to experience the same countries that DH and I saw as young adults.

[Uniwolf]

rosey7415 - do what makes you happy, I didn't receive an inheritance (sp) when my daddy died, my sister had blown through all of his money long before then, and hubbs and I have done just fine in spite of that Do what will give you memories for both you and your DH, unless by some chance the two of you leave this world together, that way the other still has wonderful memories of things that you did together. But most of all, the two of you need to be happy in your hearts with the decisions that you make. Hugs to both of you

[mombottoo]

You only live once...enjoy yourselves while you can. I'm not talking about going hog wild, but doing the things you can afford to do. I have a bumper sticker that says, "I'm spending my children's inheritance" and believe me they know I mean it....