WWYD: Birthday

[Lady_V]

Let me start by saying... I am not sure I want to attend this party.

A friend of mine booked an entire bed & breakfast for the night for this party. Originally it was meant to be a 3 woman "girls-night" get together. Dinner will be a soup and stuffed potato (neither is something I really care for) cooked at the b&b... followed by a movie I've already seen and a small investigation.

The 3 of us would be sharing one room, but it's a large room that has a king and twin along with the only room with a private bath.

It was meant to be a very small occasion. This b&b is the mid-point since we come from 3 different states.

In the last 24 hours it's gone from the 3 of us, to 3, plus the daughter-in-law. This means the 3 of us have to split up for the night because there is not enough room for 4 in the room. I would end up in a room alone. A wife of someone I don't really know has said she wants to go. I'm pretty sure that another woman, who I have nothing against but not remotely close to, wants to go too.

I also found out that my friend plans on doing a live radio show from 10:30p-1am. That means that the night of leisure, laughter and investigating has to happen around this show. It also means that most likely I will just go to bed when she starts the show because I won't be able to stay up too late because I have to drive 4+ hours home in the morning.

Now -- if you were invited to an overnight, out-of-state birthday gathering, being told it was going to be a small get together... and it's turning in it to a free-for-all with a menu that you don't really care for, people you don't really know, and the actual time being spent together would be less than the travel to and from the place...

Would you still go?

Now... what if I told you, the party was suppose to be for YOUR birthday????

[krbshappy71]

Snicker....is it free? (other than gas to go)

[nuisance26]

~I wouldn't go under those circumstances for someone else's party and doubly so for my own birthday. You deserve to do what you actually want to do on your birthday. The fact that there's a radio show for your friend to do tells me the event isn't entirely about you and that you can get out of it without hurt feelings.~

[frugalwarrior2]

OK Are you sure your friend knows its for you? Just sayin"

[Momto5RN]

wow . thats crazy . i am betting its all a tax right off if this person does the radio show if its her profession -
i dont get the investigation part ?

[cashcow]

No, I definitely would not go. I hope you have a happy birthday no matter what you decide to do!

[Sophiasmama]

No I wouldn't go.

[Lady_V]

To answer some questions so far--

Yes, other than tolls and gas, I won't have to pay for anything (tolls and gas should come out to be about $80). I will need to buy a GPS. OldMan needs ours for work and even WITH the GPS last time, we got lost. I will be driving alone (and I have severe highway anxiety).

Yes, the friend knows it's for me... she told me it was MY GIFT from her... a night at the b&b with her and our other friend (we're going on a cruise together in July, and haven't seen each other since August)

The 3 of us are paranormal investigators and the b&b is a "haunted" location.

I know I should be happy about my friend wanting to get the 3 of us together for my birthday since we're so spread out (I'm in MA, she is in PA and the third is in NY) but... it's on a Sunday night (the day of my actual birthday) and that means I won't get to spend it with OldMan and Diva. Originally, I felt bad about not spending it with my family, but justified it by telling myself it was just "another day" and I'd be with my dear friends.

It's NOT just the 3 of us, and now that she announced it on one of her radio shows last night, I am sure others who want to go to the location are going to want to come along too.

I don't know, maybe I am being immature, but if it's meant to be MY day... shouldn't I feel as if it was about... well... ME?

We will be on the cruise for her birthday, and the third friends birthday is the week after the cruse, so, we will be celebrating it on the cruise as well... I'm the only odd-duck with a January birthday.

I'm turning 40... I knew that my big 4-0 would be something memorable... I just hope it isn't because I was miserable.

If I don't go, I will feel guilty about her reserving the b&b... If I do go and it's the circus I am dreading it will be, I will be miserable knowing I spent all that time driving to and from there (not to mention the gas, toll & gps money).

[Ceashels]

It does seem that there is a different agenda then just celebrating you.

That being said, would you go and have a good time with the extra people if it were not your birthday? Would you still enjoy investigating, seeing your friends, and having a night away from home?

[nuisance26]

The 3 of us are paranormal investigators and the b&b is a "haunted" location.

If I don't go, I will feel guilty about her reserving the b&b...

~Do not feel guilty!
She is going to be able to do something she loves doing and do a show about it too. It's a win for her and she probably would have done it anyway. And that's why it doesn't feel about you and why it probably won't phase her too much if you decide not to attend.
I don't think you're being petty but that reason alone isn't really enough to not go. All your reasons together would be more than enough for me in your shoes.
Personally, I'd rather spend my birthday on my couch in my bathrobe eating microwave popcorn and watching one of the kids' favorite movies than fighting traffic, competing for attention and working around someone who is working.~

[bunnys]

You know what's the worst? Going to something you don't want to go to and feeling sorry for yourself the entire time and having a miserable time and causing others to have a miserable (downer) time because of the vibe you're giving off.

I think you already answered your own question.

Now cancel--quickly. But when you do, make sure you're certain and not wanting them to talk you into coming anyway. You'll look a lot better canceling out early (and maybe she can get the money back) than if you wait till the last minute and then are the stick in the mud they all have to beg to come and you do and it's miserable for all.

Don't play games. Rip the band-aid off and look forward to the cruise.

[Lady_V]

I'll have a heart-to-heart with the both of them. I am not sure the third even knows what's been going on.

Would I still go if it wasn't my birthday? No. I hate to travel in the winter, I normally don't go away on Sunday nights during the school year.

That being said, I would go if it was a Friday or Saturday, and a planned investigation since I am usually a team leader and have "duties" to perform as a lead.

I will see how the talk goes tonight.

[Uniwolf]

Good luck with what ever you decide to do Lady V, just make sure it is really what YOU want to do. And that it is how you truely want to celibrate YOUR birthday.

Hugs

[oheoh's momma]

lie and tell her hubby made surprise plans and don't go.. hate to say it BUT I WOULD LIE.... hugs y are in a tight spot

[Lady_V]

I can't lie... mostly because I try really REALLY hard to never lie to someone and... she knows OldMan is working, she already knows he can't take the time off, thats why hubby's aren't going