how do u get out of a funk??

[rosey7415]

i was talking to my girlfriend this am and she mentioned going on a vaction. normally, i love planning for vacation and i am over the moon with excitement............ i just couldn't even think about it now.......

i am having a kidney issue and had 3 minor surgeries last week. i am going back on the 9th for hopefully the last surgery. my dr. isn't concerned that it is a life or death thing, maybe a tumor or just scar tissue. so i do have that hanging over my head. i am concerned but not scared. my mother died and i feel that i am back to normal as much as i can be. i stil miss her like hell and always will. i am not too sad now. i'm adjusting.

but i am in a funk. things that normally made me happy, or lifted my moods just aren't working right now. for instance, today we went to ihop for breaksfast, then went to pick out fish for our new fresh water fish tank...normally i get excited. normally that would be a fun day.....

so in the car i was talking to dh. we have sufficient funds to vacation, or anything else. i asked him what would make him happy. okey, a bigger screen tv or an old antique car. he is easy. i said pick 5 things. i also tried to pick 5 things. 1. would be a vacation and the beauty of nature. 2. maybe a spa day somewhere. (never had one and not normally quite sure about spending the $$ on something like that.)

other than that i am blank. i want to do something for myself to make me happy....what?? what are some of the things that pick you up and out of a funky mood? help!!!

[Pianolady]

I'm in a similar funk, for health reasons too. We decided to buy tickets to an architectural tour in Chicago in June. Gives me something to look forward to. Things that used to bring me great joy are not so much at the moment. Hang in there, this too will pass. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Other things are going to visit family, especially adult children. This makes me happy even when I'm down. Go to concerts, movies, theater.

[dancemommy]

I'm sorry you are feeling down. I think a vacation sounds like a great thing. Even if the planning part has you down the being there part might be nice. Or even just something that takes you away for a little bit if you can't do a full blown vacation- see a movie in the movie theater or a play, go to a museum, do something touristy, go to a nice dinner- just something that is out of the norm (assuming you can afford to do so).

[bunnys]

It depends how long it's been going on. If it's been more than 2 months or this is not the first episode, you may want to consider seeing a therapist for awhile.

In my opinion, taking care of your mental health is equally as important as taking care of your physical health.

Just as you wouldn't even think of shaking off whatever's wrong with your kidney, it's absolutely absurd to think you need to be strong and shake off your funk (especially if it's been going on awhile) and kid yourself that you should be able to "will" it away.

Good luck.

[mombottoo]

Sometimes when people are suffering from depression they describe it as being in a "funk". I agree with bunnys, if you have been feeling like this for a while you may want to talk to your doctor.

[craftypam]

I have felt like that after the holidays and we have started going on vacations in January and it has helped ALOT. I also like the break it gives us right in the middle of our long winters.

[Libby]

rosey - if I'm not mistaken, your mom just passed away in Dec? Its OK to be in a funk...thats your way of grieving. This is why things that used to make you happy aren't working. You can try to do different things to take your mind off of things but only time can help you come to terms with your loss.

[gottadance]

Sorry to hear you're in a funk! I agree with the others - if I lost my mom, it would be so hard - I can only imagine. Hmmmm....let me think about this here. It depends on the kind of funk. Sometimes if I'm in a funk it helps me to really wallow - stay at home, watch sad movies (The Way We Were), eat tons of bad stuff, cry - and I find I can only do this for a day or two or three. Then it's like, I just can't do it any more, so then I feel like I just might as well go on with life and I go back to my normal routine. It's like the funk just has emptied out and I move on.

Other times I feel like I need to treat myself - of course - this can backfire, because like someone pointed out, you can go on a shopping spree, do a weekend spa, etc. only to find that when it's over you are right back where you started because the truth is, you're grieving and the grieving takes time.

Some things that might lift your spirits:
-Sign up for a class - a dance class, yoga, art; fishing, skiing, cooking - anything that really excites you and that you can focus on, feel like you're achieving or learning something - growing in some way
-Volunteer - spending time doing something for needy people is a great way to make you feel better about your life, proud of yourself that you're contributing to the world.
- Spend time in nature - go on a daily hike; hike various forest preserves near you and track your hikes; go bird watching; join a local birding club and go with them on birding hikes
- See all of the Oscar nominated movies. Sometimes it's great just to have a little escapism. Spend an entire weekend watching movies.
- Join a meetup group - Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup -this is a free site where you can join groups of people with like interests - dog walker, hikers, bikers, wine tasters, social groups, board gamers, diners, night clubbers, knitters, readers, walkers.
- Set some exercise goals and work on achieving those. Endorphins are a good thing. And when you're feeling depresses or stressed, nothing is as good as exercise. Maybe join a gym; plan to do a 5 or 10K; get a bike and start biking outside - fresh air whizzing by feels great!
- Throw yourself into a project where you'll see results. Paint a room a cheerful new color; download all your CDs to MP3s; organize all of your photos; organize your closet and get rid of any clothes you don't absolutely love and that don't absolutely flatter you - then buy new ones that do! You'll love waking up every day to pretty shirts and sweaters in colors that excite you to put them on.

[Charro]

Have you tried adding meditation to your routine? Exercise also will boost your mood. (If you have health issues,you may have to go slow, but it will still help.)Do you like to dance? I also agree with gottadance. Helping somebody less fortunate than you will usually lift your spirit, if you are just feeling blue. If it is true depression,(been going on for awhile) , get professional help.

[Charro]

Another thing that might help is keeping a journal about your feelings,or doing something that might honor your Mom. Like volunteering for something she might have loved. Grief takes a lot of time sometimes. Talk it out each day with someone you trust. Someone who will just sit and listen.

[rosey7415]

thank you all when i got up this morning i told my dh that we should go for a walk today. we were avid walkers before the cold weather hit. i think that is a great idea being outside again and exercising. also walking the dogs would be great as we have just been letting them run in the yard.

i started looking at some travel sites last night. trying to get interested. epic fail so far.......... but looking forward to something would help...so going to try to look again today.

going to finish cleaning out my ma's room...hopefully today....almost done. if so we will be dropping off the stuff to our local freecycle lady. that usually makes me feel good with something going to the needy. donating some of my mom's old throws as well as some of mine to the dog shelter. she would have loved the idea of helping to keep puppies warm and giving to the needy.

volunteering is out for me. a long history on that one.

going to call my son for supper....if he can come over it will lift my spirits.

never meditated.....not sure how to....

keep ideas coming......it is helping to motivate me. i need to motivate, motivate, motivate.............lol

[Ponderer]

This may sound simplistic and pollyanna but for me I swear it works. Sometimes when I am in a funk I start concentrating really hard on the good stuff I have and all the blessings I can acknowledge through the years and all of a sudden I feel better.

I will think back on good childhood memories or promotions and better jobs through the years or just any random good things I can pull up in my memory. The next thing I know I am just feeling so happy and grateful in general that everything improves.

May sound strange but it really helps me.

[mombottoo]

rosey, I didn't realize it had only been a short time since your mom passed nor, that she lived with you. My mom died over 12 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Your routine has been overturned by your loss and your funk is completely normal under the circumstances. Give yourself time to heal.

When my mom died I decided to attend a group that dealt with the loss of loved ones. It helped me a lot and it allowed me to work through my feelings with people who had been through similar things. I also journaled a lot back then and it really did help. After my baby sister died in 2003 I ended up going for individual counseling to help me deal with a lot of the feelings I was having. It came to light at that time, that I was still harboring feelings over my mom dying too. The therapist had me write letters to my baby sister, my mom and my dad. I cried so much while writing those letters that I didn't think the swelling in my face would ever go down. But, it helped me tremendously. When you take the stresses of day to day life and add the loss of a loved one on top of them it takes time to recover...sometimes a very long, long time.


((((((((HUGS)))))))))

[shoiji]

Have been in a funk myself lately. With it being winter and cold out doesn't help. Right now I have the windows open and the sun is shinning through. Went for a walk this morning. Had to force myself to get up and out the door but once I got started walking was able to feel the benefit of fresh air and sunshine. Atleast sunshine on my face.

You have been going through a lot lately so it is natural to feel like you are in a funk or even depressed. Plan you vacation, hopefully someplace warm and sunny. Remind yourself while on vacation that you may not be up to doing a lot of sight seeing or whatever you do on a vacation which is fine. No need to add pressure to be out of a funk.

Try to get outside more often. Some days may be better than others funk wise. If you notice that you are still feeling like you are in a funk or feeling more depressed do go see someone you can talk to. Try watching a funny movie or a website that makes you laugh. Sometimes I just need a really good belly laugh to help lift my spirits.

Take care of yourself. Indulge is some pampering.

[IntlMom]

((hugs))

I get this too.

There are seasons in my life where I just can't quite shake it.
music is prob my best cure - really loud worship music. so loud that when I sing really loud, I cannot hear myself