Need motivation

**dwallyfam** · 01-29-2012, 09:04 AM

Hello all

Well I was doing very well starting out the year. Exercising every day, tracking food, being frugal. It was starting out to be a great year. January 10 changed everything. That is the day my dad started going downhill medical wise and then passed away January 13. I have been so unmotivated to be frugal, clean, exercise. Really do anything.

I know that I need to get back to "normal" or back to a routine. But it is so hard. Yesterday I was trying to examine normal and this year is a big change year. My daughter graduates high school, goes to college about an hour away, my dad died. It is just a big thing. Been feeling out of sorts.

How do I motivate myself to get back to what I was doing so well at the begininng of the year?

**mombottoo** · 01-29-2012, 09:40 AM

My condolences on the loss of your dad. It may take you a bit to get back to feeling "normal" and even though my mom died over 12 years ago there are still days I feel out of sorts over her death.

I just kept plugging away, doing what I had to do and I journaled a lot and made lists to keep me on track. Plus, I ended up being the one to help my dad for the next 11 years after mom passed.

Give yourself some time to heal and adjust

**dwallyfam** · 01-29-2012, 09:54 AM

mombotto - My dad has been my daily task ever since my mother passed away almost 7 years ago. She visits from time to time to let me know that she is watching over me. So we are similar in our experiences.

Out of 6 kids (me being the youngest) it is like I have to do everything. No one really wants to help until it is time to get money. I feel like I am dangling a carrot to get help cause we all have to be there to get the money. So I have been putting that off.

I am frustrated and unmotivated.

**madhen** · 01-29-2012, 10:30 AM

Kellie,

First, stop being hard on yourself. You need to take some time to mourn your father, and that is probably something you haven't done fully, since you are so busy with other things. You can't just move on. Trust me on this one.

Second, maybe just pick one thing and try to maintain that. That way, you have one success that you can feel good about, even if everything else isn't going the way you want right now.

**Ramona** · 01-29-2012, 11:16 AM

You're in mourning, nothing will be the same for quite a while. I agree with madhen, take one thing and make it work. Hugs.

**Ponderer** · 01-29-2012, 11:23 AM

I am very sorry for the loss of your Dad. I also understand when you think of the change with your daughter later this year that could be a bit overwhelming as well.

Give yourself a bit of time to mourn and then ask yourself...what would your Dad want for you?

If you really take that to heart it can be a very powerful tool. My dad passed on 3/27/04 and I quit smoking on 4/21/04. I went cold turkey from a 2+ pack a day habit and I had been smoking for 26 years.

So.....what would your Dad want for you?

**banana** · 01-29-2012, 01:54 PM

So sorry to hear about your loss. Take one day at a time, and give yourself the time to mourn. Try to get up, showered and out of the house to do something to get your mind off of things. But remember one day at a time, try to find peace from within, and think of what your dad might say to you.

**Jeanvt63** · 01-29-2012, 02:03 PM

I wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I feel like I can understand because on December 10th, 2011 I lost my brother who was only 53. I am having a very hard time with it and nothing seems much to matter most days anymore. Also, my youngest son is a senior in high school this year and I too know big changes are coming with him after high school. Change is hard and loss is even harder. The biggest thing that helps me personally is my faith in God and I try to rely on Him when the pain is so bad. I think just take one day at a time and do the best you can for that day and if you have days you don't get everything done you want to don't worry about it and just keep trying the next day. May God comfort and bless you and I wish you the very best.

**DWHISNANT** · 01-29-2012, 08:46 PM

My heart goes out to you. I can feel your pain. I found my mom dead in her bed in July. She lived with me over 13 years. I am still grieving but I have found a way to ease the pain a bit. When I feel the need to talk to my mom I sit down and write her a letter. That may sound silly but it realy helps.