Where do you draw the line on gifts?
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  1. #1
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    Default Where do you draw the line on gifts?

    After reading the tipping thread it got me thinking and I'm curious what everyone else does.
    When I was growing up at XMas time my parents always gave a gift to the mailman & paperboy.
    When I got older and out on my own I always did the same.
    Then I was reading something (I think Dear Abby) that said at the holidays you should tip or gift the mail person, paperboy, hairstylist, garbage men, teachers, etc. I always tip my hairstylist at every appt. and if it happens to fall during the holidays I do give extra, but the others I haven't.

    When DS started school at the holidays I got a gift for the teacher and bus driver. Then I heard you need to gift the classroom helpers, office staff, monitors, music teacher, gym teacher and art teacher. Oh, and the Reading specialist also! Needless to say if I did all that I'd be needing more jobs. THEN I was told that you buy end of year gifts too! So I do get the teacher and the bus driver a gift at the end of year. I figure the bus driver gets him safely to and from school and for that I'm greatful. So, I'm curious what does everyone else do?

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    Registered User Droppedonmyhead's Avatar
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    Interesting thread. I know that it is customary to do that, but personally I never have tipped the mail person/paperboy/etc. Having worked all of the time, I never saw them. I tried to get a gift for my daughter to give to her teacher for Christmas. I never really had any extra money to tip people who I did not deal with directly. I do tend to tip more around the holidays as a good will gesture.

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    Registered User Nana2two's Avatar
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    I tip the person that does my hair. Waitress a little extra during the holiday.My parented use to tip the the dairy guy, mailman, paper kids. I don't

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    Registered User tigo's Avatar
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    I include a tip to the newspaper carrier with every subscription bill. With food service folks, hairdresser - I tip every time and a little more during holidays. I don't tip or gift school personnel but I have bought flowers for the bus driver when her bus broke down and she was stuck with the kids for an hour waiting for another bus.

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    We don't get the paper,have a regular stylist or mailman and I tip people as they wait on me or cut my hair. Good enough.

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    Moderator nuisance26's Avatar
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    ~We don't observe Christmas so we wouldn't gift for that reason. I homeschool so there aren't any school staff to consider either.
    Bottom line though is that I don't give a gift to anyone for whatever the reason unless I really want to to. I don't think a special day by society's standard is reason enough to buy, wrap and send.
    As for the large list of people that were suggested for tips, most of them get good wages already and would not let the absence of a tip affect their job performance. You could always tip in other ways throughout the year as well. My older brother made good wages as a "garbage man" early in his marriage. Even though he did occasionally get cash tips, he was so impressed and touched by the few people on his routes that went out of their way to just thank him or bring a few cold sodas out to the truck that he still does that himself on occasion for his waste management workers.
    It doesn't have to be money. Very often a sincere "thank you" will make a bigger impression. Buy gifts or tip who you want. Breaking non-existent "rules" is very liberating. ~

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    When growing up remember during the holidays someone running out to give the garbage men a plate of homemade cookies. They were not allowed to receive money. Also remember the day the postman said they were not allowed to even receive a drink of water during a hot day.

    I tip my hairdresser everytime I see her and more during x-mas. She is always really patient with me and cuts my hair just the way I want it cut. I know I can be very picky when it comes to my hair.

    Other than that I do not tip except if at a restaurant or taking a taxi ride.

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    Registered User Contrary Housewife's Avatar
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    I give gifts to people I have a personal relationship with. My mail carrier says "Hi" and "Have a nice day" but I don't feel I know any of the 6 people who work this route well enough to give a gift that they'd like or even want.

    I don't know about other people, but frankly if I was a grade school teacher I would not want a bunch chotchkes from my students parents --who I don't see during the school term at all-- at the end of the year.
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    Registered User Jamielane's Avatar
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    I was so glad when my kids left elementary school and I didn't feel compelled to to send teacher gifts for Christmas and end of the year. Not because I didn't appreciate them but because it is very hard to buy for someone who you hardly know . I think they must be tired of all the same teachery nonsense year after year. This year for the first time this year my oldest who just finished her junior year in high school had two very special teachers she wanted to acknowledge and we did go get them both a pretty windchime and she gave them a habdwritten note telling them how much she has appreciated their help this year. They both cried at the note and one told her its moments like that that keep her teaching. So it really isn't about the money . I always tip my waitress or waiter and hairdresser. We don't have a paper delivered and it never occured to me to tip the mailman. The waste management guys here are not allowed to take tips. My brother in law is a garbage man and he said they almost never get tips but he works in a different area. We dont personally hire or pay for waste pickup . It is contracted by the city we live in and paid for with taxes .
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    I would never tip my mail carrier, he does a horrible job. I call to complain about getting other peoples mail almost once a week. Here's a tip....get a new job.

    My kids aren't in school yet, but if the teacher was great, I would get them a gift.

    I cant think of anyone else though.

    This is the first year of a conservative Christmas budget, there will be no room for much more than immediate family and close friends.

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    The problem is there are to many people who we are expected to tip and gift. I honestly think it has gotten way out of hand. A gift/tip should be given because you want to but not because you have to. I tip the lady that cuts my hair and waiter/waitress but I don't tip/gift the mailman, delivery people etc. We don't have garbage pick up or any of that. I did buy gifts for my kids teachers when they were in elementary school.
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    Registered User frugalfranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadders11 View Post
    I would never tip my mail carrier, he does a horrible job.
    Can relate this this nadders....... I wouldn't tip my mailman because around Xmas, with the snow, he is too busy leaving everyone on my block COPIES OF THE OFFICE MANUAL..........telling us to SHOVEL 30 feet in each direction of our mail box!!! I figure I have just about gotten the whole manual left in my mailbox since he took over this route. He is NOT the most 'jovial' person I have encountered....but he did let me move my mail box.

    That said.............I do leave him cookies in the box when I bake.........through out the year.......and if I am not baking cookies at Xmas.....he gets nothing.

    Don't take paper, no kids in school, have cut WAY BACK on the Christmas trap so no, I don't tip all the people mentioned........only give HOMEMADE gifts to friends. Will seldom go in around Xmas to get hair cut......as that avoids the rush they get.

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    Registered User chickadee-7815's Avatar
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    I tip the gal who cuts my hair at each appointment, but nothing special at Christmas. Our paper boy always puts our paper in a box right outside our front door [which he really isn't required to do], so we tip him about once a month.
    Garbage man gets cash at Christmas only. We never give tips or gifts to the mail carrier.
    Too Blessed to be Stressed.

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    Registered User melanies's Avatar
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    I don't know... what about just giving a card with a little personal note? Or baking a little something and tacking your address label on it and leaving it for the mailcarrier or whomever.

    I left my mail carrier things for Christmas whether its a card or a small box of chocolates. I also leave them a cold bottle of water on really hot days.

    I guess I try to put myself in their place and I think I would love to receive even a card of acknowledgement for Christmas. It doesnt have to be a tip (unless its a profession that depends on tips as a part of their income)

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    Registered User valerian's Avatar
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    I tip my hairdresser (always!) and wait staff (as long as they do a good job or at least passable and I tip accordingly then)...tip taxi drivers when I travel...no one else gets tipped. Our mail carrier gets paid enough and has enough benefits (plus he's a moron) that I don't feel the need to leave him money. He should be leaving me money for putting up with him being a moron!

    I have given my sons' teachers gifts a few times over the years when I really liked the teacher a lot. I don't do it most of the time. My dh was a teacher for 33 years and got lots of stuff, mostly good. He didn't seem to attract the junky things, but more thoughtful gifts geared to his likes such as chocolates and bowties and books and gift cards to expensive menswear places that sell bowties (lol!).

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