I would love to look after your kid for free....

**Momto5RN** · 06-30-2012, 02:33 PM

i am sorry
only thing i can think is she gets paid friday and she has to deposit the ck and was too embarrassed to say that ?

maybe in her mind the end of the month was today so she didnt owe you until after today . who knows

i think she figures if your a sahm and werent doing childcare prior to this its all extra $$ for you so timing doesnt matter .

my daughter watched the neighbors cat for extra $$ the week before this - we didnt see them because it was so hot before we left for our mini vacation ( and i was working that weekend) but IMO it was up to neighbor to come to the house and give it to her esp knowing she was looking at it as extra spending money for the trip.

i guess she figures shes a teen its all extra to her etc and i know she will be all apologetic when she does pay her saying she hasnt seen us but she could have gotten it to us if she wanted to .

**oheoh's momma** · 06-30-2012, 02:42 PM

that was very rude of her..people have no care anymore gosh I hope she does not stiff u... trying to pay u with an sewing machine u can't pay bills with a sewing machine... the electric company would not like it either

**Nadders11** · 06-30-2012, 03:28 PM

Her and her dh both got direct deposit on friday. And she said she was writing a cheque, so it shouldn't matter anyways. I for sure think she thought I didn't NEED the money, so it wouldn't matter when I got it. But it left a bad taste in my mouth.

I know if the tables were turned and she was looking after my kid I would be very aware of when the money would be due because I wouldn't want to piss off the person looking after my kid. Childcare in Calgary is very hard to get, and if you can find it, it's horrible most of the time.

I couldn't imagine the rage that would be unleashed if someone suggested they pay me for a job with a sewing machine!

**josantoro** · 06-30-2012, 05:27 PM

Some people know exactly who they can stiff (friends, lol) and who they can't (utilities who will SHUT THEM OFF if they don't pay).

When we had a rental property we got the sob story from tenants one month, they were going to be late, no money, blah blah blah... sitting there smoking and drinking beer while they said it. I called them on it (I had big cojones then!) -- Umpf, OH, I am NOT giving up my cigarettes.....No Way!!

**khaski** · 06-30-2012, 05:37 PM

How rude of her to take advantage of you like that either intetnionally or even unintentionally. $ due is $ due! I know it's only -some- people, but I consider myself in the group that works extra hard to keep my word and do what I say, ESPECIALLY with friends. Crossing my fingers for you that you get paid shortly!

**pinecone** · 06-30-2012, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by Nadders11

Funny you should say that ramona, she actually asked if the money was still ok at the end of the month. Which I thought was a strange question considering she didn't pay me anything at anytime yet. I was like....ya...sure. Kinda was confused why she'd even ask that. But it seems like a good idea now.

You can always call her up and tell her you have been thinking about this and maybe paying all at once for the month is too much all at once. Weekly or 2x a month would be better or.....if you don't want to strain a friendship over this she should find another person, unless you really need the money. You will soon have another baby and be out of commission for a time.
Good luck

piney

**WV_mom_of2** · 06-30-2012, 11:36 PM

I do daycare in my home and have this problem constantly. I am on my third family and I have always had to ask for my check on payday. With the family I have now it's especially bad. She will come in and talk a mile a minute and grab the kids and run with no check for me at all. So I started following her to the car saying "I will just walk you to the car and get my check!" I don't give her a choice lol. I've also been known to call her at 7am and say "I have to go to town today so can you bring my check this morning instead of this evening so I can deposit it when I'm there?"

Oh and you are making a good rate! I make 15.00 a day per child(for a 9 hour day) and feed them breakfast, lunch and a snack.

**Nadders11** · 06-30-2012, 11:45 PM

25-35 a day is the going rate around here, even with private dayhomes...and since she asked me and I wasn't looking for work I needed to make it worth my while. Also I'm hyper vigilant about my grocery budget and meal plan. Her kid eating my bread and fruit really makes a difference in my plans. She provides her food...or she was told she will pay me 20 more a month.

I don't know how you put up with it constantly....parents should be more respectful to those who keep their children alive while THEY make money.

**madhen** · 07-01-2012, 11:18 AM

I guess, reading through all these posts, I am wondering if you want to keep her as a friend. If so, you might approach it differently than what is being suggested. If not, then certainly, put her in an uncomfortable position and demand money or leave her hanging. I totally get why you are angry about not getting paid, and I am a little amazed that you were generous enough to watch the child for a whole month without any compensation!! I would maybe agree to two weeks.

If you want to keep her as a friend, I would suggest giving her a chance to do what she said she would do, get you the money by today. If you don't see her by this afternoon, I'd give her a call and say something along of the lines of "I hate to bother you, but I was planning on doing some grocery shopping today and was wondering if you were going to stop by with the money, since I could deposit the check while I'm out and about." If she gives you more excuses, then you need to decide if she is really a friend, or if she was just using you, and go from there. You are absolutely on the moral high ground on this one, but sometimes being on the moral high ground puts you in a position where you have to be the diplomat in the situation.

I would suggest, if you continue to watch her kid, that you gently change the arrangement to payment every two weeks. That way, you aren't out a whole month's worth of services if/when she flakes on you again.

**frugalwarrior2** · 07-01-2012, 11:31 AM

No more sitting before your paid. And draw up a piece of paper w/ the terms for her to sign. You are pregnant and need the money for expenses. She is taking advantage of the friendship/our guys work together thing.IMHO

**Nadders11** · 07-01-2012, 11:56 AM

I agree frugal. I went over our budget today and I'm pissed I don't have that money. Our dh's make good money, and now she's back to making good money. 300 is not a lot in the whole scheme of things in her mind. But to me, I worked for it and I deserve it in a timely matter. But since we don't need it, I don't have a problem not looking after the kid. Won't break us.

I'm going to present her with the dates I expect to get paid and that I won't appreciate it being late again. Depending on how this next week goes ( if she gets me the cheque before wed, if she's apologetic) I may tell her to find someone else as I'm too pregnant to deal with another baby. Aka I'm done with you being unappreciative.

**frugal is fun** · 07-02-2012, 09:41 AM

I agree with the poster that said change the arrangements to get paid either weekly or bi weekly. A friend watches my son and believe me that is one payment I don't forget about. In the three years she's been watching my son I think I forgot maybe 3 times and I am quick to remember and send her a txt saying "I'm so sorry, I forgot to pay you" and make sure I pay her the very next time i see her. I know what I have with a friend watching my son and not having to put him in daycare. That is one relationship that I cherish and will never take for granted.

**Nadders11** · 07-02-2012, 10:22 AM

No cheque or mention if it yet. I don't feel like I have to mention it again. She should know its expected...better if it's before Wednesday..but that's her decision right? She can dig her hole deeper if she wants. I told my dh she should bring the cheque in first before the kid on Wednesday. He agrees how pissed I am. I will wait and see how she handles this....but she will be getting the once over on my expectations on Wednesday morning. She'd be pretty hooped if I told her I wasn't available for thrusday and Friday.

That's what I think frugal, she should know how good she has it. He daughter doesn't even cry when she drops her off, she waves and goes for the toys. She should be trying to keep me happy, because all this aggravation is making me very mad and grumpy. And really I shouldn't have to deal with this right now.

Thanks everyone for listening to me vent and for the support. My dh would get annoyed if he had to listen to it all.

**WV_mom_of2** · 07-02-2012, 02:40 PM

It's looking like I will be missing out on two weeks of pay this month. I was supposed to have the girls today, tomorrow and Thursday. We had a horrible wind storm Friday night and a large portion of our state is without power, including us. Daycare family has power but didn't bring the girls today because her sister is there and she is letting her keep them. Don't now about the rest of the week yet. And next week she is on vacation all week so I won't have them or get paid. It's a hard business to be in in my area.

If she shows up the next day you are scheduled to keep the kid and doesn't have your money tell her you are sorry but your daycare is closed until payment is received.

**wanderlusting** · 07-02-2012, 06:50 PM

Omigoodness- I can't believe all these stories about parents who take advantage of the people watching their children! I occassionally use an hourly sitter and I make a point of not dropping my children off early or picking them up late and I pay a decent amount ($8 an hour since I have two toddlers). She will give them lunch and I pack their juice and snacks. I try to keep her happy because she takes care of my precious ones- I do not want her to feel resentful of them or me.

Nadders- I really hope she has your money Wednesday at drop-off. I agree with the other ppl and would switch it to getting paid every Friday