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08-18-2012, 04:13 PM #1
I wish I had all the answers......
UGH! Ds is having issues at work and I wish I had a magic solution for him. He is such a great kid. VERY hardworking, honest, polite, etc. This is his second job and the boss at both have just loved him. However, other employees do NOT because he makes them look lazy. Last summer he worked for the school's summer school program. Everyone there loved him and it was a great group of people, both adults and kids. The boss begged him to work for the after school program so he started that in Sept. There was a teacher there who caused problems every single year. She hates everyone and is just a total witch. Everyone hates her. She decided to make my ds the target of her crap. He stood it as long as he could before he finally told her off and quit. We tried getting the boss and even the assistant school superintendent involved and both said they knew just how she was but did nothing. (the boss later apologized to him).
So he went to work for a small grocery store about 12 miles from our house. Originally he was supposed to work 10-15 hours a week. He started in mid April. He has been working 40, 50 and even 60+ hours a week since school let out. He goes in some days at 6am and works until 8:30pm. He has had ONE weekend off since he started there and had to ask for that one. He goes in any time they call. He goes in early, he stays late, he works on his scheduled days off. He is on his second week of working 6 straight days. When the power was out he worked for 13 straight days! His boss loves him and praises him to me and dh every time we go in there. He even made a point of finding my mom in there one day and telling her what a great employee my ds is. He has had no summer at all. He works constantly and when he is home all he does is sleep.
BUT....there are two managers there who seem to have it in for him. The female one is a known alcoholic who has strange mood swings. The other is a man who is lazy and ds runs rings around him when they are stocking shelves, etc. The male manager has laid into him three times in the last two weeks and has quickly been put in his place by the owner. The female one has been on him all this week (the manager has been gone most of the week doing catering jobs).
Week before last ds was offered a job at a large farm about 2 miles from our house. He would be starting out at 8 or 9.00 an hour (makes 7.25 now) and it would be pretty regular hours. He would work every evening after school and the manager there told me he should get 20-25 hours a week until summer when he will be full time. He would be on call some on weekends, etc. He decided to turn the job down because he really likes his boss now and didn't want to leave him more short handed then he already is.
He called me a little while ago and told me to call and see if the farm job is still open. The female manager is at it again and he says he has had enough. The job IS open but he is going to need to make up his mind and do something definite. They aren't going to hold the job for him and let him be wishy washy about it.
I wish I knew what to tell him or how to help him make this decision. Part of me feels like he should go to the owner and let him know what's going on and give him a chance to fix things. But the owner is really really moody too and snaps at the blink of an eye. He might make things right or he might tell ds to find another job depending on what kind of day he's having. Then he'd be calling to apologize later. Part of me thinks he is 16 and has no one that he is responsible for and he should get a job without all the crap while he can. UGH! Why can't adults just act like ADULTS? It's no wonder more kids won't work at part time jobs!
- 08-18-2012, 05:00 PM #2
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- Prestonsburg, Kentucky, United States
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u have a good son..no answers but remember he is 16 it is ok whatever he chooses..08-18-2012, 05:14 PM #3
I would take the farm job, myself. Getting stuck in a toxic work environment isn't very fun. What if the owner never fixes things? What if he decides to stay and it gets worse? They rely on him so much now, how are they going to manage when school starts again?
The farm job is close to home, pays more and gives a different skill set. I would do it for the variety as well as these other reasons.08-18-2012, 05:32 PM #4
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I'd take the farm job. The poor kid deserves a life outside of work, and he should not have to put up with crap from THREE managers.
The manager at the store is not going to do anything about the other two in favor of a minimum wage high school kid. He just isn't. Your son sounds like a great employee but he's still one of the peons, and the other managers outrank him. The manager has apparently decided the behavior of the other two managers is acceptable or he'd have already done something about it. And besides, your son still would have to work under them, even if the manager did do something. And there are all kinds of ways to make subordinate employees' lives hell if they so choose, ways that are not provable later on. Subtle revenge would not be fun for your son.
If your son decides later in life he wants to work in the grocery industry, I'm sure he'll be able to go back to it at a different store. Tell him not to burn bridges on the way out. He may need a good recommendation from his current boss at some point.08-18-2012, 05:45 PM #5
The owner is pretty good to take up for him when he is there and knows what is going on. And once school starts back he won't be working as much because school WILL come first. He sent me another message a few minutes ago that says Never mind. guess I will see what is going on when he gets home.
I am leaving it up to him to decide. If he wants to stay where he is I am going to tell him to just say "I did NOT do that. I stocked aisles X,Y and Z." and walk off. He doesn't have to take their crap even if he decides to stay. I am trying to stay out of it the best I can and let him make up his own mind. I do tell him what I think but I don't push. What I really want to do is beat the living snot out of someone but I am too much of a lady to do that. And that certainly won't teach my son an adult way of dealing with losers.08-18-2012, 05:48 PM #6
I should mention that there are things about the farm job that I really don't like. There is one employee out there that he would be working with a lot that I just don't like. I've known him for years and he's kind of seedy. Ds would also be doing a lot of things like mowing and weed eating with little to no supervision. On a BIG farm! In an area where he might or might not have cell service if a problem came up.
So I am torn LOL. And this is such a little area that jobs are hard to come by, especially for teens.08-18-2012, 07:00 PM #7
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The problem at the store is, your son is not in charge and because of that, he DOES have to take a certain amount of crap from those who are. When you're in a subordinate position, you can't just walk off when those in charge are talking to you. And if they continually say he did something he didn't do, eventually the manager is going to have to either come to his defense in some significant way or else side with the other managers. Which, the way it sounds, is what he's doing already because apparently the two managers are still hassling your son, so whatever the manager has said to them hasn't helped any, and apparently he's not willing to go any further with it.
I can understand why you're torn. In jobs, like in so much else, nothing is ever perfect. So your son and you will have to decide what's best in this sticky situation.
Good luck.08-18-2012, 08:03 PM #8
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The farm job sounds like a MUCH better option...Kace - married to Dh for 16 years
Always pinchin' pennies!08-18-2012, 08:15 PM #9
Honestly, I think you need to give your son advice, but ultimately, it needs to be up to him. He needs to learn to confront his problems himself. There's nothing wrong with giving him advice, but he needs to learn that you can't rely on other people to take care of you. It taken me a long time to do this myself. My manager may be awesome and love me, but she's not my mother. Sounds like your son is just hoping that his managers will notice his hard work and reward him for it - no, you have to speak up and not wait for someone to notice. That isn't how it works in the real world. And its good that he's so young - if he learns to speak up now, that's better than when he's in his 30's.08-18-2012, 08:19 PM #10
The male manager has backed off after the owner got onto him this week. But this female one is a piece of work. She's a known drunk and basically just trash. Anyhoo it came to a head this evening after she cussed my son again. I called a cop friend to see how much trouble I'd get into for calling and telling her what would happen to her if she did it again. I swear, he ruins all my fun LOL. Anyway I called the owner, who is out of town and he is taking care of her for me. He was really upset with her and said he has heard that she is giving her resignation soon and he guesses that is her problem. He assured me she would be dealt with and it won't happen again. I was in there this morning and I think she was drunk or very very hungover. She has let the owner being gone most of the week go to her head.
I'm still going to leave it up to ds what he does. But he is 16 and I am his parent and I won't allow anyone to treat him like that without having my say. Lord I really hope she's not working the next time I need to go in there!08-18-2012, 08:24 PM #11
edited to remove post08-18-2012, 08:34 PM #12
I think work environment is so important and I think your ds is probably learning that - except he hasn't really had a good work environment yet. I would encourage him to take the farm job in a heartbeat. and if he stays at the grocery store - tell him to try to never be along with either of the managers.08-18-2012, 08:35 PM #13
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Every job i worked there were always a couple butt heads . Either management or a regular worker. Hope things work out for the farm job.08-18-2012, 08:38 PM #14
The farm job just scares me. Weed eating and mowing with no supervision and no cell service is a big thing for me.08-18-2012, 09:04 PM #15
Is your son ok with you calling his job? Some kids would be....mine? Aw hell no. Lol. He would just about die...
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