He's off to work
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  1. #1
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    Unhappy He's off to work

    Ds is off to work this morning. He is working 6am to 2pm. We will see how it goes I guess. He is nervous and so am I. Dh and I both told him to stand up for himself. If she starts to tell her that he is a 16 year old kid and he busts his butt for that place. He comes in early, stays late and works on his days off. That he does a darned good job and if she has a problem with him she needs to either take it to the owner or keep it to herself because he is sick of being yelled and cussed at and that he will NOT take it anymore.

    And I told him if he needs me to call. He said if she starts he is just might tell her off and then quit. I told him that's letting a bully win but he's been bullied a lot (for several years in school) and he's just so tired of it he'd rather quit then have to deal with her crap. I'm leaving it up to him but trying to convince him that quitting is just giving her what she wants and shooting himself in the foot. He's giving up a job he loves because of a drunken witch. It's going to be a LONG day............

  2. #2
    Registered User Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    Arguing with someone in charge of you never gets you anywhere. She will just spin it so he comes out looking bad.

    IMO it might be better to put it in writing after the fact, when he has calmed down and can present his side in a less confrontational way. Then send it to her and CC the boss so he knows what's happening. It also would document the events and the circumstances and dates, in case it's needed later on.

    Staying there with her bullying him every day is not winning either. Sometimes you have to choose the less painful loss and just get out. The manager is in charge. There is no way to win in that situation because he will always be the underling.

    Good luck. It's a tough situation, one I would not put up with myself. I've worked for bosses like that and worse and it doesn't last long because working where you're constantly waiting to be attacked is miserable and I refuse to live like that.
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  3. #3
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    He isn't going to argue with her. He is simply going to tell her that he isn't taking her crap anymore and to take her complaints to the owner and move on. He shouldn't have to give up a job he loves because of drunk. He said the other people there tell her off on a daily basis and she goes on and shuts up so that is what is he is going to have to do. His boss isn't going to fire him for taking up for himself. He is the best employee he has and the only one he can count on to be on time and to work over if needed.

    I don't know how to win at this situation. Some say encourage him to stand up for himself with her. Others say he shouldn't. So I did what I think is best. I told him to tell her off politely and to go on about his business. I told him he is NOT to yell or curse at her and he is not to say anything in front of customers. She is the low manager on the totem pole and if he does happen to get fired, oh well. He will either find another job or we will pay his insurance and he can just focus on his last two years of school.

    The owner is aware of the situation and he isn't happy with her either. And the other manager has been filled in on what is happening and that the owner has been called. So something will happen either way. Either it will be taken care of by the owner or ds will take care of it himself.

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    Registered User Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    I see. I thought you were telling him to light into her in an aggressive way, but it sounds like you're just telling him to be assertive, which is good IMO. If he's sassing her and just acting rude, that's one thing but if he's calmly stating he won't put up with being abused and bullied, that's the best thing he can do as I see it.

    He does need to be ready to back up his threat of leaving if it comes to that though. If he threatens it and doesn't do it, she won't believe him when he says that in the future.

    I feel so badly for him. It's really tough being a kid and having to stand up to an adult. At the least, he's learning a lot of important life lessons here.
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    Registered User LynnLC's Avatar
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    What exactly is the drunk manager complaining about? What is she saying to him? To get a feel for the situation, ya know?

    You mentioned he was bullied in school...can you expand on that? Is he an assertive kid? Is he quiet etc?

  6. #6
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    He is a quiet, hard working, friendly, polite, generous kid. He would do anything for anyone. He was bullied for two years in middle school by the school popular kid. He was a rude, aggressive, butthole whose parents taught all their kids to bully others. I went round and round with the school for two years to get it stopped and got nowhere. They finally got a new principal and I only had to go in once to him and he ended it for good. I have no idea what he said/did but it worked. That young man has since robbed a teacher's child at knife point in town and spent a year in Juvie for his actions. He is back at school now and was expelled at the end of last year for drugs.

    The manager is allowing the fact that the owner is gone to go to her head. She is harassing others at work too. The store has been doing catering all week for a major convention going on in our area. The owner has been in the store for just a few minutes at a time picking up things for the catering jobs. As far as my son goes she is not doing things that the owner told HER to do and then yelling at my son for them not being done. Or yelling at him for doing things the owner told him to do. At one point this week the owner told my son and the meat manager to go out behind the store and tarp the trash truck and to check the oil, etc in it. When he came back inside she yelled at him for not coming when she paged him. He said you can't hear the pager out back. She wad apparently mad because she had to bag someone's groceries. On Saturday the owner asked my son to come in at 7 to help him load a huge catering order. The owner was going to this event but they had another to deliver food to around 10am also. The owner got the employees together and gave them verbal lists of things to do. He told my son and the two meat guys to deliver the other catering order. He told the manager to work the registers until the cashier came in at 10 and then was to work produce the rest of the day. When my son returned from the catering delivery she yelled at him for going. Then later in the day she yelled at him for not putting the produce out. She refused to let him have his lunch break until 3pm, allowing the two boys who came in at 10 to go before him. He was scheduled to leave at 6pm and has his watch set with the owners watch. At 6:03 he finished up what he was doing and went to clock out. She told him he had 15 minutes to go before it was 6 and he could NOT leave. So he went to the back room to find something to do for those 15 minutes. She came rushing through the store after him cursing and yelling at him. She told him to get the F out of the store, etc. Both of the meat guys heard the whole thing. She is supposed to take money from the store and pick up bread from a local bakery and bring it back to the store for them to sell the next morning. She lied and told the owner one night that she had given the money to my son and he was going to bring the bread in the next morning. My son had already told her that he would NOT do it because he didn't want to be responsible for so much of the store's money outside work hours. She know she is not supposed to give the money to anyone else as she has already been in trouble for doing it once. She is cursing at him, pretty much using every word in the book.

    The funny thing about her is she will praise my son to me up one side and down the other every time I am in there. I honestly think she is so drunk at times that she doesn't know what she is doing.
    Last edited by WV_mom_of2; 08-20-2012 at 11:06 AM.

  7. #7
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    Spirit Deer...... I very plainly told him that he is NOT to yell or curse or be nasty in any way to her. But he does NOT have to take her crap. He said the other employees just tell her off and she goes on about her business and shuts up. I told him to tell her "Look, I am a 16 year old kid. I bust my butt for this store and I am good at my job. I come in early, I stay late, I come in on my days off. I don't know what your problem is with me but I will not take your crap anymore. If you have a problem then take it to the owner or keep it to yourself but I will stand here and allow you to curse and yell at me anymore." Then he is to just go back to his work. I told him if she gets aggressive or just won't leave him alone to call me and I will take care of her. I also gave him the option of quitting if she gets too bad.

    He loves this job. I just don't think he should allow a piece of white trash drunk to run him off from it. (and she is most definitely a piece of white trash drunk. I babysit for a cop and he has been called to their house numerous time to deal with them and their drunken brawls) I am really hoping the owner called her and let her have it Saturday night after I called him. He was really upset with her and assured me that he would deal with her.

  8. #8
    Registered User Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    It sounds like the boss has plenty of grounds to fire her. Why hasn't he?
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  9. #9
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    I assume he hasn't fired her because most of the employees don't complain, they just tell her off lol. And he has been gone most of this week too. He has also been EXTREMELY short handed all summer. That's why my son has been working 40,50 even 60+ hours a week all summer. I can only assume that he doesn't want to fire her and be even more short handed as far as managers goes.

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    He just posted "if looks could kill I'd be dead" Dd asked him how his day is going and he said "fine so far!"

    Not sure what the look thing is about unless the boss got onto her and she's giving him ugly looks now lol. Oh well, we can deal with ugly looks!

  11. #11
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    I wonder how many people are quietly quitting because of her. Getting rid of her might solve some of the problem of being shorthanded.
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  12. #12
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    I'd say most of the ones quitting lately have been because of her. And all of them have been teenagers.

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    He just called to tell me he is headed home (that's a rule, you call me when you get there and before you leave lol). He said she didn't say a word to him all day but she did walk up and down whatever aisle he was working in shooting him dirty looks. I told him to turn his head and he wouldn't see them lol.

    He said the male manager told him that the owner called her and blessed her out. He is going to crawl her good when he gets home mid-week but didn't want to be too nasty on the phone because he was afraid she would quit and they'd be stuck with only one manager who can NOT work all the hours that they need someone there. He's going to wait until he is home so he can cover for her if she quits.

  14. #14
    Registered User LynnLC's Avatar
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    I would just be careful...he could be even more bullied/ridiculed/picked on if they know his mother called. Signed, mom of 3 teenage boys.

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    this is a very small, rural area and it's common practice for moms to call the school, work, etc when there are problems. It's just the way this little community works. I'm not worried about him being picked on for it.

    The reason his school bully picked on him was because he was jealous of ds. Everyone liked ds and no one much REALLY liked him. The bully was the sports superstar so the girls wanted to date him and the guys wanted to be his friend but not really. Just because he was the superstar. Teachers, parents, etc all disliked him and he had has a lot of problems his whole life. He is also a short little thing and ds is 6'3" and that didn't help either lol. Ds has had no problems at all with bullies in high school. Everyone seems to love him down there!

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