I got banned from very popular female forum on Saturday.
I bought up a story about my sister interviewing a woman who was applying for public cash assistance and food stamps. In the middle of the interview, she stops to make a phone call on her new I phone 5. I said I wouldn't have given her a dime. OMG, that led to a few of us fighting about she didn't deserve the assistance to a lot of others said she had a right to having nice things. Eventually, I stopped responding because people were not getting it. :beat:
So the next day I posted a story on the forum about a YOU Tuber I follow saying that being fat and ugly will hinder you moving forward. I didn't agree totally with him because he is not the slim himself. We were discussing and not fighting and the MOD shut it down. Later that day I was banned. The reason:
You have been banned for the following reason:
Links in signature, leading to blog with advertisements
Okay I would agree except there are a least 50 plus members with blog signatures and they have ads on their sites. Three of these members are my friends.
I even had a financial thread challenge I have been running for 10 months and they got rid of it. I would update every Monday and the ladies are expecting to comment. I hear they are asking the MODS what's going on.
Should I go back after the banishment is lifted? I have been a member since 2005 and a paying one at that. I like the forum but some people are too sensitive. I really wanted to say on the welfare thread:
See you bitches on January 1st when you are broke.:tay::couch:
For me, it depends on the community. If I like most of the people and it's just something up with the mods, I'd go back. I know it's a private board and not a democracy and stuff, but I hate it when people run off because of mod decisions. If the whole community wants them gone, that's a different story.
This is subject of many a debate. Who defines "too sensitive"? The owner, the mods, the community or the individual?
Or is the rule a basic, common sense rule? Is your common sense equal to mine, or his, or hers?
See how broad the subject is or can be? It's completely subject to interpretation.
As a matter of fact, I will bet some of the other mods don't agree with your banning.
Jmo, but sometimes the predominately female forums can get to be too much like junior high- all the backbiting and playing favorites. Being banned for breaking a rule they aren't enforcing across the board would irritate me to the point that I probably wouldn't return.
If it was a forum I enjoyed and really wanted to be a part of, I'd go back and stay within the rules regardless of what others do. Kind of like a job in that some people get away with all sorts of things while others get in trouble for looking cross ways.
As Russ mentioned, I don't think you can define "too sensitive" for others. We all come from different places, different experiences. Something that might be an extremely sensitive subject for you might be glossed over by me and vice versa. And that pertains to the Iphone thing. Does anyone even know for 100% that it is her phone? Could be borrowed. I don't know, but I've learned (learning may be a better choice) that making assumptions can get us in trouble.
I don't think I would continue being a paying/donating member. LOL
The reason they gave you was simply an easy way out compared to "the discussion got too heated and the managers received too many complaints." The second means more to correcting the behavior that is unaccepted on that board. Certainly it takes more than one person to have a debate. Were others disciplined as well?
I would probably go back after the suspension, but if it happened again I would bail. On the other hand, the weak excuse they gave for the suspensions kind of says something about the mods/admins. If someone does something wrong, tell them and hope they learn something.
Thank you for the laugh I needed it! I don't know how to do quotes, but you're pretty funny!! It sounds like the office I work in. There's so much backstabbing and people on their moral high road yet they're the ones who will say nasty things when they think no one is listening.
I would go back. I'd share e mail addresses with the people I wanted to remain in touch with, and then leave.
Or I would take a long, hard look at myself and decide if there was any legitimacy to what was being said about me, and also if I was willing to change the behavior if I did conclude maybe they were right at least in part. If not, I'd be gone for good.
Unfortunately, moderators and admin do play favorites. I've seen that on every board I've ever been involved in. Some are worse than others, of course. So that would weigh in my decision to return or not, too. If I was being banned for something other people were doing while nothing was said to them, I likely wouldn't stay around then either.
Have you discussed the banning with the people who put it in place? If not, that's really what you need to do, IMO. As for the reason they gave for banning you, it could be as simple as someone clicking the wrong button, so it might be worth checking to see if that's really the reason they meant to give you. Then I would point out that others do the same thing and have not been banned, if in fact your siggy was the problem. What they tell you either way might make your decision to stay or go easier.
On the welfare scamming thread I fought but did not insult or get mad at anyone. A few of the ladies were going at it but not me. In fact, my friend just texted me and said that they took down the financial challenge thread and kept the scamming thread up. People are still going at it. Why would they dismiss the thread helping people get their finances together? It seems petty to me.
On any forum you will see what I call "Key Board Comandos" "Trolls"(I'm sure we all use that one) as well as "Bullies"
The keyboard comandos, are the ones who are the tough guys who are always the best soldier,farmer, or what ever it is to be best at. They get anoyed at misspelled words, or anytime somebody puts them in their place. Bullies are the ones who just try and slam everything just to look like they are tough. Then, there is the trolls who post stuff just to try and start a fight and love the fight just to get the attention. Not as the trolls like the ones uner the bridges, but as in setting bait for and waiting for somebody to bite the hook, and reel them in. fishing for somebody to bullly, so to speak.
If I read a thread about like the one you say you posted about the foodstamp lady......I would think that was just a troll thread And so if it was then drawn up that you had advertisements, I would have sent you a warning. I would have thought you were trying to get cheap advertisement.
But I am on some very agressive sites. Some have over 9000 members, and we help report these actions. So it may have been a miss understanding and this was the quickest way to calm down the forum. Don't take it personal, I got banned from a site once for 5 days.
I'd assess it in a month once your ban is up. I've been a member of many message boards, somtimes I need a break, and some just run their course and I decide to move on.
The fact that they clearly haven't been up front about the reason for banning makes me think I wouldn't bother to go back, but I think you should assess how you feel in a month.
ohhhhhhhhh you stick (you know the one which keeps the pot stirred up) lol. sound's like you stepped on some mods toes so they broke out the ban stick. I once got banned from a recipe sharing site- seriously, back in the late 90-early 2000. all because I gave my opinion that the poster asked for- I was careful to make sure she was asking I never gave without being asked (not like now lol).
now if it was me- just because I truly don't mind being a real bitch sometimes- IF I wanted to continue on the board, wait out the ban- since you paid- refund if it's yrly if mthly then cancel and move on. open a forum of your own sharing with your friends from the site.
I would be very slow to go back to people who weren't honest with the reasons for the banning but if you did how about just being straight with the mods telling your side and asking why they felt the need to ban you? Maybe they had a bad day or maybe they thought you're motives were different that what they were. Once you know what went wrong then your in a stronger position for the future. Although you mighn't get a truthful answer, it might still be worth asking as if they tell you more rubbish then you'll know it's not a place you want to be?
this is a sticky subject..I would tread light to gauge what is happening....I personally agree with what Russ said that some of mods probably agree with u....This subject brings out the ugly in some and a few like to stir the pot rather than have a intelligent conversation about the subject..best wishes on what ever u choose.
I would consider it history. There are too many good forums to waste time on such narrow ones. I've not been banned but I've quite going to a few because they were too narrow or too skewed to one viewpoint.
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